(no subject)
ok so i am major depressed right now i am missing chris like a mother fucker and we have gotten down to a call a week now. im wondering if he is just taking me for granted or what cause i am usually the one that calls him and what not. i just need to see him and wondering if he really is in this for the long haul. i miss him terribly and all i can do is drink to forget it but its just not helping anymore and i feel like i am going out of my mind i just dont know how to convey my feelings to him seeing he dosent want to talk about feelings....dont know guess i have to pretend like im not going psycho and move on until i see him but this is so freaking hard and then i feel like i am loosing touch with my lj i dont know maybe my life is just advancing and i dont want to loose what i have in the past and im struggling to keep a tight grip on it.dont know whatever guess i will just keep on trucking.