lost fic: you knew the hand of the devil - jacob/richard
Title: you knew the hand of the devil
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Jacob/Richard (w/ reference to Ellie/Widmore)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,157
Summary: He knows his weakness. It's always been Richard.
A/N: Written for the sacred_20 prompt, revelation. Also, since Jacob's Enemy doesn't have a name, I just kind of chose one for him.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost (shocking I know). Title taken from Jose Gonzalez's "Heartbeats."
Humans believe in circumstances. Since the beginning of time, they've never been comfortable with duality. Black and white. To them, everything comes in shades of gray. More evil. Less evil. Jacob used to find it funny how they tried to shy away from right and wrong answers. How they tried to justify everything they did with comparisons.
When Jacob fell, he found himself stuck for eternity on the same island as Zachariah - Zachariah who stole a page from Satan himself, played games with humans, and tested their fate as long as he could until he could no longer be recognized in his true form. But it was Jacob who did just the opposite, who tried to help humans; until his aid went so far that he was accused of playing God.
Two opposite ends of the paradigm - two vastly different set of circumstances, and yet, the end of the road was the same.
The day Jacob fell was the day he realized why humans struggled with a black and white world.
---
People gravitate towards Jacob. He doesn't know how he lures them here, but it happens and he can't figure out how to stop it.
Eventually, they praise him and call him God. He can heal. He can save them. He provides shelter from that evil tempter who laughs in their faces and curses them with illness.
People may say they don't believe in good and evil, but they sure as hell know how to polarize when it becomes necessary.
They build religions in his name - modeled after the old civilizations. Egyptian. Greek. Roman. Eastern. They worship him and his goodness, until Zachariah corrupts each and every one of them, purges the island and they're back to step one.
Building new temples and new icons and waiting to watch them crumble.
---
And then the Black Rock lands.
What Jacob notices about Richard from the very beginning is that he is different than the rest. Humans think they're unique, but they're not. They all think the same, have the same basic forces driving them forward - reproduction and survival.
When people meet Jacob for the first time, they stand in awe. When they meet Zachariah they tremble. No one is immune - except Richard who takes no heed to either of them. Instead, he tells his men to just ignore the island inhabitants and let them have their peace.
Zachariah tries hard to tempt Richard. He appears in the form of black smoke. He shows him the beauty of the island. He appears as dead relatives, dead crew members. None of which shakes Richard who clings to no cross, no star, no crescent.
And so Zachariah gives up. "I'll have to kill him," he says, writing names in the sand, the order he will kill in.
"Don't," Jacob says, without really knowing the reason.
It's not a warning, just a notice. Any harm Zachariah brings to Richard will be healed by Jacob. It would be pointless. They'll always cancel each other out.
Instead, Zachariah wipes out all of Richard's crew and grins mockingly.
---
Richard is building a cabin inland when Jacob sees him next. This is after he's buried all his friends in shallow graves. Richard doesn't pay him any attention, just keeps hacking away at the dying trees. Jacob perches himself on one of the already cut logs and watches the way he works. Quiet concentration and even reserve.
"You don't fear him." It's a rhetorical question - one that by now doesn't need an answer.
Richard doesn't look up from his task at hand. "No."
Jacob tilts his head to the side, "Then you don't fear death."
This time Richard looks at him. "No. Not really."
Jacob feels something warm grow inside him, something akin to satisfaction. He smiles. "I was right to keep you."
---
One year after Richard arrives Zachariah collapses besides Jacob outside the ruins of his home. Jacob offers him food, and Zachariah declines like always. They watch the waves roll in.
"You'll tire of him soon enough," Zachariah says.
"Maybe."
"Or he'll grow tired of you."
Jacob pauses, considering the statement. "That's also a possibility."
"You bore me to tears, Jacob." Zachariah throws his head back dramatically, "I expect so much from you, and you never deliver."
"Then end it."
Zachariah narrows his eyes in mock outrage. "Where's the fun in that?"
Jacob bites his tongue. He could mention that Zachariah isn't clever enough to find his loophole and if he was, this would have been over a long time ago, but there's no reason to make him bitter.
---
There will be time before anyone else joins them on the island. Time works differently here. For someone like Jacob, it passes faster. Human lifetimes are like specs of dust. Jacob realizes that Richard must be lonely spending what little time he has in this world without anyone. And Jacob has all the time in the world and not much to do with it.
This is how he rationalizes keeping Richard company.
Richard is still working on his cabin and most of the time Jacob spends with him is spent in silence, just watching. He doesn't ask him to go though and therefore, Jacob keeps coming back. One day a noise catches Richard off guard mid swing and he winds up clipping his thumb with the ax. He lets out a string of curses and runs for some cloth to stop the bleeding, but he doesn't get very far.
Richard watches as the skin knots itself together. He turns to look at Jacob who is looking off into the forest, pretending that the banana trees are something to be inspired by.
"So there really is something bigger out there?"
Jacob looks back at him. "Yes."
"What's it like?"
Jacob laughs because there's only one way to answer that. "Good."
Richard's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What?"
"It's good."
---
Eventually the next wave of people comes. They wash up on the beach in small boats looking ragged and broken. Richard goes to help them, and Jacob goes back to his dwelling healing them from afar.
A few months go by before Richard shows up at Jacob's door.
"They really do feel your presence."
"Hello Richard," Jacob says with a smile. When Richard doesn't return the gesture, Jacob sighs. "I know."
Jacob lets Richard inside his home.
"They believe in you even though they haven't seen you."
"It's called faith, Richard. A good majority of people have it."
Before Jacob can say more, Richard is in his face, anger spilling over threatening to overtake him. "You're not a god! You're not...it! You're just-"
"Stop," Jacob says pushing Richard away and grabbing his hand in one motion, bringing it between them. The thumb which had almost been hacked off not too long ago is without any scar.
"I heal and that means I'm good." A flicker of a smile crosses Jacob's face. "Humans only need a little bit, and it will take them a long way."
Richard's anger subsides, but he seems reluctant to agree. He tries one more time. "But you're-"
"I'm what they need," Jacob says. He places either hand on the sides of Richard's face.
"They need you," Richard whispers.
"Yes."
Richard wraps his arms around him tightly and very suddenly. Jacob breathes it all in, amused by human embraces and how they can possibly bring comfort when they feel so awkward to him. But he plays along because it's what Richard needs, and Jacob's enabling is what got him here in the first place.
There's another rationalization.
---
Zachariah stops purging. Jacob is too happy to question it. Humans were always distracting to him.
The people stop trying to find a way off the island and start making a home for themselves. They build civilizations devoted to doing Jacob's will. Somehow it's different than before. People have evolved and devotion has a new meaning. These people have appointed themselves protectors of their land - Jacob's land. They look for a leader who can guide them in their way.
The reason Richard can't lead is because he couldn't really believe. He knows what Jacob really is. He knows the truth behind the faith and the mythos. Jacob understands how hard it would be for others to believe in him as Richard does. To not ask questions and merely accept him as another middleman. Richard did not live and breath on faith alone. The others did.
They needed someone who thought and felt like they did. Someone who believed in Jacob and in faith. Not just one out of two. That was how Richard became second in command.
He never once regretted it.
---
After a few years go by and their first leader dies, Richard mentions in passing that he won't always be there to help choose leaders, and Jacob realizes that thought never occurred to him. That thought upsets him more than it should.
When the second leader asks Richard to abandon his cabin so that their people can all live as equals, Richard gives it to Jacob.
"I always wanted a summer home," Jacob kids. Richard still seems reluctant to let go. It's becoming a pattern for him.
"I'll take care of it," Jacob promises. It's odd how a man can be so attached to something as simple as a house, but then, Jacob remembers how much time Richard spent perfecting its existence. He thinks of his own tapestry and how he'd feel if he had to give it away. Maybe it's something like that.
Maybe it's more.
This is where Jacob's unease with Richard's mortality collides with his want to cheer the man up. A thought springs to his mind.
"I have a gift for you too. Close your eyes."
Richard laughs, looking skeptical as always.
"Humor me, please," Jacob pleads and this time Richard does as told.
Jacob places his hand on Richard's forehead. White light flows from his fingertips, absorbed as fast as it comes. Richard's breath catches, and for some reason, it makes Jacob smile.
"What was that?" Richard asks when Jacob finally withdraws his hand.
"I made you immortal," Jacob tries not to sound proud even if he is. Immensely.
Richard just stares at him, and Jacob cannot tell if he believes him or not. If it did the job and made him happy or if he just pissed him off. He cannot read this level of blank stare.
"Just say the word and I can take it away."
"No," Richard says quickly, "No. I think this is what I'm supposed to do. For as long as I can."
Jacob furrows his eyebrows. "You always have a choice, Richard."
"And I'm choosing this."
Richard hugs him again. It's not as awkward as the first time. Jacob wonders if he really is too close to humans or if maybe he's just too close to this one.
He wouldn't be here if he hadn't already fallen and he's pretty sure you can't do that twice.
---
"Immortality, huh?" Zachariah says, and laughs. It's been a long time since he actually saw Zachariah here.
Jacob doesn't respond. There's no need to. Zachariah's taunts are meant to bait, but always fall short. It's an endless cycle they live out.
Zachariah is not deterred, and his grin almost throws Jacob off. "Maybe you were right about progress," he says, and at that Jacob has to look up.
"What do you mean?" Jacob asks cautiously.
Zachariah grins again, patting Jacob on the back. "In good time."
If Jacob were human, he would feel fear, but he's not and the closest he can get is a twinge in the pit of his stomach that passes before it can ever be really noticed.
---
Richard thinks he knows Jacob, but he never really will. He can try all he likes but there are some things that a human being just can't understand. Some struggles that will go on forever beyond Richard's comprehension.
For instance, Richard doesn't understand why Charles and Ellie are Jacob's favorites. They seem to be cruel and bitter and more akin to someone Zachariah would enjoy. He doesn't see what it is about them that stirs something inside of Jacob.
"Do they love each other?" Jacob asks one day as he and Richard watch the Dharma Initiative sail in for the first time.
"How would I know Jacob?" Richard doesn't like to talk about feelings. They're human things which he is trying to avoid feeling and that he knows Jacob has trouble understanding anyways.
"By comparison."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Richard's aloofness is usually a good mask. He's very skilled at pretending he has no idea what's going on. However, Jacob is better at seeing past it. Most days Jacob likes to pretend this thing is less than it is because it's easier to justify everything else. But today he decides to push their luck. He takes Richard's hand in his own.
Richard stares at him and then at their conjoined hands before sighing in what sounds like defeat. "They love each other."
Jacob smiles, "Fascinating.
---
"There's a young boy. He says he saw his dead mother in the jungle."
Jacob looks up and notices that Richard's hair has grown an awful lot since the last time they saw each other, but he doesn't mention it. "Did he?"
"I think he's our next leader."
Jacob glares. "Charles hasn't forsaken us yet."
"It's only a matter of time," Richard says as he takes a seat next to Jacob across from the nearly completed tapestry. He stares at it carefully, as if reading the story it's meant to be telling.
"When did you become so pessimistic, Richard?"
Richard looks back at him. "I've always been this way. You've just looked the other way."
Jacob wonders if that's really true. "If you believe that Ben is the right choice, then that's that."
---
When Charles is banished and Ellie is long gone, Jacob feels their betrayal weighing upon his very being. It isn't so much them as what they stood for. How Zachariah was able to tear them apart despite everything. It hits deep.
Richard understands when he goes into hibernation, refuses to meet the next leader. Richard can handle it. Right now, Jacob can't. He's not human, but he's not a god either. He's stuck somewhere in between - sympathetic without knowing how to feel it.
Emotions keep him locked away from his people for 30 years while Zachariah tears everything apart.
---
Eventually he gets it.
It takes some time off the island, the little bursts he's been allowed. He watches people and learns more from them then he could when he was so close to the problem. He checks on Ellie who's watching her son die a long, drawn-out death. Charles is keeping tabs - on the outside looking in - while he raises a daughter who is a reminder of the sins he indulged in.
Somewhere along the line he realizes he misses Richard, just as Charles misses Ellie.
"Fascinating," he whispers to himself.
---
He returns home (how strange it is to call it that) and calls on Richard. The first time he’s called him since Ben became leader. He knows vaguely what’s going on. He’s met the next group of island inhabitants already, heard their stories and healed their bodies. Some parts of the island he doesn’t recognize - dark spots where Zachariah has seemingly done the most damage.
It will all make sense in due time.
Richard takes longer than usual to get to him.
"You haven't been here in awhile," Richard says, explaining his delay. Jacob stops in his tracks.
"What do you mean?"
"The cabin,” Richard says as if it explains everything.
"When was the last time we spoke, Richard?" Jacob says.
"Two weeks ago," Richard says, and Jacob thinks about panicking.
He immediately follows this question up. "When was the last time you saw me?"
"When Charles was expelled.”
Jacob remembers what he told Richard - that he wouldn’t see him for awhile but he’d still be there.
“Jacob,” Richard says, sitting down next to him, “Are you okay?"
Jacob thinks back to all the things that happened - the people he was sent to meet, the leader he ignored. He sees Zachariah's mocking grin. He remembers progress and immortality in the same sentence. He remembers the story of Achilles’ heel. He has a weakness. It's always been Richard.
Richard who he shut out after his chosen ones fell. Richard who clung to him and believed in him, who was blinded by a voice. Richard, beautiful Richard, who couldn't be corrupted but could be duped. Because just as Jacob's weakness was Richard, Richard's was Jacob.
And Zachariah knew it all along. He had found his loophole and Jacob and Richard had stepped right into it.
Suddenly, he feels what's coming in a rush and knows better than to try and stop it. He sees Locke, who isn’t Locke, and Ben, the forgotten one, and poor Sun who learned not to take her love for granted. Instead, he takes what he’s wanted, what he can hold onto.
Jacob grabs the sides of Richard's head pulling Richard's lips to his. His tongue runs across the seam of Richard's lips. Richard doesn’t budge at first, probably shocked by physical contact that previously had been so taboo, but as soon as Jacob's thumb begins stroking his cheek, Richard relaxes. As soon as that happens, Jacob pulls back.
"Jacob," Richard says, a hint of a question buried in his heavy breathing.
"Go back to your people, Richard." He stands without another word, turning his back to Richard. There's a pause and then Richard lets out a breath.
"Okay."
Jacob closes his eyes. There are rules and he has to obey them, but there is someone in all of this who he can protect. "A Korean woman is going to enter your camp tomorrow with some other familiar faces. Protect her."
"Is she on the list?"
Jacob thinks of Zachariah and his names in the sand - his penchant for lists and order and frowns.
Jacob turns back to Richard, ignoring the question. "Don't regret it."
Richard picks up on the non-sequitur. "Regret what?"
"You'll know."
Allusiveness is par for the course and Richard just accepts it as so. He doesn't say anything else, just leaves and Jacob knows it very well could be the last time he ever sees him.
---
A few days later, after Zachariah pushes him into the fire, when Ben, the forgotten leader has joined the rest outside, Zachariah takes his true form, cruel grin in place and whispers, "Richard says hello" before he leaves.
Jacob thinks of Richard just outside, now at the mercy of a vengeful Zachariah, and as Jacob dies slowly and painfully, he finally feels fear.
It's not as terrifying as love.
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Jacob/Richard (w/ reference to Ellie/Widmore)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,157
Summary: He knows his weakness. It's always been Richard.
A/N: Written for the sacred_20 prompt, revelation. Also, since Jacob's Enemy doesn't have a name, I just kind of chose one for him.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost (shocking I know). Title taken from Jose Gonzalez's "Heartbeats."
Humans believe in circumstances. Since the beginning of time, they've never been comfortable with duality. Black and white. To them, everything comes in shades of gray. More evil. Less evil. Jacob used to find it funny how they tried to shy away from right and wrong answers. How they tried to justify everything they did with comparisons.
When Jacob fell, he found himself stuck for eternity on the same island as Zachariah - Zachariah who stole a page from Satan himself, played games with humans, and tested their fate as long as he could until he could no longer be recognized in his true form. But it was Jacob who did just the opposite, who tried to help humans; until his aid went so far that he was accused of playing God.
Two opposite ends of the paradigm - two vastly different set of circumstances, and yet, the end of the road was the same.
The day Jacob fell was the day he realized why humans struggled with a black and white world.
---
People gravitate towards Jacob. He doesn't know how he lures them here, but it happens and he can't figure out how to stop it.
Eventually, they praise him and call him God. He can heal. He can save them. He provides shelter from that evil tempter who laughs in their faces and curses them with illness.
People may say they don't believe in good and evil, but they sure as hell know how to polarize when it becomes necessary.
They build religions in his name - modeled after the old civilizations. Egyptian. Greek. Roman. Eastern. They worship him and his goodness, until Zachariah corrupts each and every one of them, purges the island and they're back to step one.
Building new temples and new icons and waiting to watch them crumble.
---
And then the Black Rock lands.
What Jacob notices about Richard from the very beginning is that he is different than the rest. Humans think they're unique, but they're not. They all think the same, have the same basic forces driving them forward - reproduction and survival.
When people meet Jacob for the first time, they stand in awe. When they meet Zachariah they tremble. No one is immune - except Richard who takes no heed to either of them. Instead, he tells his men to just ignore the island inhabitants and let them have their peace.
Zachariah tries hard to tempt Richard. He appears in the form of black smoke. He shows him the beauty of the island. He appears as dead relatives, dead crew members. None of which shakes Richard who clings to no cross, no star, no crescent.
And so Zachariah gives up. "I'll have to kill him," he says, writing names in the sand, the order he will kill in.
"Don't," Jacob says, without really knowing the reason.
It's not a warning, just a notice. Any harm Zachariah brings to Richard will be healed by Jacob. It would be pointless. They'll always cancel each other out.
Instead, Zachariah wipes out all of Richard's crew and grins mockingly.
---
Richard is building a cabin inland when Jacob sees him next. This is after he's buried all his friends in shallow graves. Richard doesn't pay him any attention, just keeps hacking away at the dying trees. Jacob perches himself on one of the already cut logs and watches the way he works. Quiet concentration and even reserve.
"You don't fear him." It's a rhetorical question - one that by now doesn't need an answer.
Richard doesn't look up from his task at hand. "No."
Jacob tilts his head to the side, "Then you don't fear death."
This time Richard looks at him. "No. Not really."
Jacob feels something warm grow inside him, something akin to satisfaction. He smiles. "I was right to keep you."
---
One year after Richard arrives Zachariah collapses besides Jacob outside the ruins of his home. Jacob offers him food, and Zachariah declines like always. They watch the waves roll in.
"You'll tire of him soon enough," Zachariah says.
"Maybe."
"Or he'll grow tired of you."
Jacob pauses, considering the statement. "That's also a possibility."
"You bore me to tears, Jacob." Zachariah throws his head back dramatically, "I expect so much from you, and you never deliver."
"Then end it."
Zachariah narrows his eyes in mock outrage. "Where's the fun in that?"
Jacob bites his tongue. He could mention that Zachariah isn't clever enough to find his loophole and if he was, this would have been over a long time ago, but there's no reason to make him bitter.
---
There will be time before anyone else joins them on the island. Time works differently here. For someone like Jacob, it passes faster. Human lifetimes are like specs of dust. Jacob realizes that Richard must be lonely spending what little time he has in this world without anyone. And Jacob has all the time in the world and not much to do with it.
This is how he rationalizes keeping Richard company.
Richard is still working on his cabin and most of the time Jacob spends with him is spent in silence, just watching. He doesn't ask him to go though and therefore, Jacob keeps coming back. One day a noise catches Richard off guard mid swing and he winds up clipping his thumb with the ax. He lets out a string of curses and runs for some cloth to stop the bleeding, but he doesn't get very far.
Richard watches as the skin knots itself together. He turns to look at Jacob who is looking off into the forest, pretending that the banana trees are something to be inspired by.
"So there really is something bigger out there?"
Jacob looks back at him. "Yes."
"What's it like?"
Jacob laughs because there's only one way to answer that. "Good."
Richard's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What?"
"It's good."
---
Eventually the next wave of people comes. They wash up on the beach in small boats looking ragged and broken. Richard goes to help them, and Jacob goes back to his dwelling healing them from afar.
A few months go by before Richard shows up at Jacob's door.
"They really do feel your presence."
"Hello Richard," Jacob says with a smile. When Richard doesn't return the gesture, Jacob sighs. "I know."
Jacob lets Richard inside his home.
"They believe in you even though they haven't seen you."
"It's called faith, Richard. A good majority of people have it."
Before Jacob can say more, Richard is in his face, anger spilling over threatening to overtake him. "You're not a god! You're not...it! You're just-"
"Stop," Jacob says pushing Richard away and grabbing his hand in one motion, bringing it between them. The thumb which had almost been hacked off not too long ago is without any scar.
"I heal and that means I'm good." A flicker of a smile crosses Jacob's face. "Humans only need a little bit, and it will take them a long way."
Richard's anger subsides, but he seems reluctant to agree. He tries one more time. "But you're-"
"I'm what they need," Jacob says. He places either hand on the sides of Richard's face.
"They need you," Richard whispers.
"Yes."
Richard wraps his arms around him tightly and very suddenly. Jacob breathes it all in, amused by human embraces and how they can possibly bring comfort when they feel so awkward to him. But he plays along because it's what Richard needs, and Jacob's enabling is what got him here in the first place.
There's another rationalization.
---
Zachariah stops purging. Jacob is too happy to question it. Humans were always distracting to him.
The people stop trying to find a way off the island and start making a home for themselves. They build civilizations devoted to doing Jacob's will. Somehow it's different than before. People have evolved and devotion has a new meaning. These people have appointed themselves protectors of their land - Jacob's land. They look for a leader who can guide them in their way.
The reason Richard can't lead is because he couldn't really believe. He knows what Jacob really is. He knows the truth behind the faith and the mythos. Jacob understands how hard it would be for others to believe in him as Richard does. To not ask questions and merely accept him as another middleman. Richard did not live and breath on faith alone. The others did.
They needed someone who thought and felt like they did. Someone who believed in Jacob and in faith. Not just one out of two. That was how Richard became second in command.
He never once regretted it.
---
After a few years go by and their first leader dies, Richard mentions in passing that he won't always be there to help choose leaders, and Jacob realizes that thought never occurred to him. That thought upsets him more than it should.
When the second leader asks Richard to abandon his cabin so that their people can all live as equals, Richard gives it to Jacob.
"I always wanted a summer home," Jacob kids. Richard still seems reluctant to let go. It's becoming a pattern for him.
"I'll take care of it," Jacob promises. It's odd how a man can be so attached to something as simple as a house, but then, Jacob remembers how much time Richard spent perfecting its existence. He thinks of his own tapestry and how he'd feel if he had to give it away. Maybe it's something like that.
Maybe it's more.
This is where Jacob's unease with Richard's mortality collides with his want to cheer the man up. A thought springs to his mind.
"I have a gift for you too. Close your eyes."
Richard laughs, looking skeptical as always.
"Humor me, please," Jacob pleads and this time Richard does as told.
Jacob places his hand on Richard's forehead. White light flows from his fingertips, absorbed as fast as it comes. Richard's breath catches, and for some reason, it makes Jacob smile.
"What was that?" Richard asks when Jacob finally withdraws his hand.
"I made you immortal," Jacob tries not to sound proud even if he is. Immensely.
Richard just stares at him, and Jacob cannot tell if he believes him or not. If it did the job and made him happy or if he just pissed him off. He cannot read this level of blank stare.
"Just say the word and I can take it away."
"No," Richard says quickly, "No. I think this is what I'm supposed to do. For as long as I can."
Jacob furrows his eyebrows. "You always have a choice, Richard."
"And I'm choosing this."
Richard hugs him again. It's not as awkward as the first time. Jacob wonders if he really is too close to humans or if maybe he's just too close to this one.
He wouldn't be here if he hadn't already fallen and he's pretty sure you can't do that twice.
---
"Immortality, huh?" Zachariah says, and laughs. It's been a long time since he actually saw Zachariah here.
Jacob doesn't respond. There's no need to. Zachariah's taunts are meant to bait, but always fall short. It's an endless cycle they live out.
Zachariah is not deterred, and his grin almost throws Jacob off. "Maybe you were right about progress," he says, and at that Jacob has to look up.
"What do you mean?" Jacob asks cautiously.
Zachariah grins again, patting Jacob on the back. "In good time."
If Jacob were human, he would feel fear, but he's not and the closest he can get is a twinge in the pit of his stomach that passes before it can ever be really noticed.
---
Richard thinks he knows Jacob, but he never really will. He can try all he likes but there are some things that a human being just can't understand. Some struggles that will go on forever beyond Richard's comprehension.
For instance, Richard doesn't understand why Charles and Ellie are Jacob's favorites. They seem to be cruel and bitter and more akin to someone Zachariah would enjoy. He doesn't see what it is about them that stirs something inside of Jacob.
"Do they love each other?" Jacob asks one day as he and Richard watch the Dharma Initiative sail in for the first time.
"How would I know Jacob?" Richard doesn't like to talk about feelings. They're human things which he is trying to avoid feeling and that he knows Jacob has trouble understanding anyways.
"By comparison."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Richard's aloofness is usually a good mask. He's very skilled at pretending he has no idea what's going on. However, Jacob is better at seeing past it. Most days Jacob likes to pretend this thing is less than it is because it's easier to justify everything else. But today he decides to push their luck. He takes Richard's hand in his own.
Richard stares at him and then at their conjoined hands before sighing in what sounds like defeat. "They love each other."
Jacob smiles, "Fascinating.
---
"There's a young boy. He says he saw his dead mother in the jungle."
Jacob looks up and notices that Richard's hair has grown an awful lot since the last time they saw each other, but he doesn't mention it. "Did he?"
"I think he's our next leader."
Jacob glares. "Charles hasn't forsaken us yet."
"It's only a matter of time," Richard says as he takes a seat next to Jacob across from the nearly completed tapestry. He stares at it carefully, as if reading the story it's meant to be telling.
"When did you become so pessimistic, Richard?"
Richard looks back at him. "I've always been this way. You've just looked the other way."
Jacob wonders if that's really true. "If you believe that Ben is the right choice, then that's that."
---
When Charles is banished and Ellie is long gone, Jacob feels their betrayal weighing upon his very being. It isn't so much them as what they stood for. How Zachariah was able to tear them apart despite everything. It hits deep.
Richard understands when he goes into hibernation, refuses to meet the next leader. Richard can handle it. Right now, Jacob can't. He's not human, but he's not a god either. He's stuck somewhere in between - sympathetic without knowing how to feel it.
Emotions keep him locked away from his people for 30 years while Zachariah tears everything apart.
---
Eventually he gets it.
It takes some time off the island, the little bursts he's been allowed. He watches people and learns more from them then he could when he was so close to the problem. He checks on Ellie who's watching her son die a long, drawn-out death. Charles is keeping tabs - on the outside looking in - while he raises a daughter who is a reminder of the sins he indulged in.
Somewhere along the line he realizes he misses Richard, just as Charles misses Ellie.
"Fascinating," he whispers to himself.
---
He returns home (how strange it is to call it that) and calls on Richard. The first time he’s called him since Ben became leader. He knows vaguely what’s going on. He’s met the next group of island inhabitants already, heard their stories and healed their bodies. Some parts of the island he doesn’t recognize - dark spots where Zachariah has seemingly done the most damage.
It will all make sense in due time.
Richard takes longer than usual to get to him.
"You haven't been here in awhile," Richard says, explaining his delay. Jacob stops in his tracks.
"What do you mean?"
"The cabin,” Richard says as if it explains everything.
"When was the last time we spoke, Richard?" Jacob says.
"Two weeks ago," Richard says, and Jacob thinks about panicking.
He immediately follows this question up. "When was the last time you saw me?"
"When Charles was expelled.”
Jacob remembers what he told Richard - that he wouldn’t see him for awhile but he’d still be there.
“Jacob,” Richard says, sitting down next to him, “Are you okay?"
Jacob thinks back to all the things that happened - the people he was sent to meet, the leader he ignored. He sees Zachariah's mocking grin. He remembers progress and immortality in the same sentence. He remembers the story of Achilles’ heel. He has a weakness. It's always been Richard.
Richard who he shut out after his chosen ones fell. Richard who clung to him and believed in him, who was blinded by a voice. Richard, beautiful Richard, who couldn't be corrupted but could be duped. Because just as Jacob's weakness was Richard, Richard's was Jacob.
And Zachariah knew it all along. He had found his loophole and Jacob and Richard had stepped right into it.
Suddenly, he feels what's coming in a rush and knows better than to try and stop it. He sees Locke, who isn’t Locke, and Ben, the forgotten one, and poor Sun who learned not to take her love for granted. Instead, he takes what he’s wanted, what he can hold onto.
Jacob grabs the sides of Richard's head pulling Richard's lips to his. His tongue runs across the seam of Richard's lips. Richard doesn’t budge at first, probably shocked by physical contact that previously had been so taboo, but as soon as Jacob's thumb begins stroking his cheek, Richard relaxes. As soon as that happens, Jacob pulls back.
"Jacob," Richard says, a hint of a question buried in his heavy breathing.
"Go back to your people, Richard." He stands without another word, turning his back to Richard. There's a pause and then Richard lets out a breath.
"Okay."
Jacob closes his eyes. There are rules and he has to obey them, but there is someone in all of this who he can protect. "A Korean woman is going to enter your camp tomorrow with some other familiar faces. Protect her."
"Is she on the list?"
Jacob thinks of Zachariah and his names in the sand - his penchant for lists and order and frowns.
Jacob turns back to Richard, ignoring the question. "Don't regret it."
Richard picks up on the non-sequitur. "Regret what?"
"You'll know."
Allusiveness is par for the course and Richard just accepts it as so. He doesn't say anything else, just leaves and Jacob knows it very well could be the last time he ever sees him.
---
A few days later, after Zachariah pushes him into the fire, when Ben, the forgotten leader has joined the rest outside, Zachariah takes his true form, cruel grin in place and whispers, "Richard says hello" before he leaves.
Jacob thinks of Richard just outside, now at the mercy of a vengeful Zachariah, and as Jacob dies slowly and painfully, he finally feels fear.
It's not as terrifying as love.