i am a whiner

Jun 15, 2005 01:04

woke up this morning all excited about going to the beach. so i went running and i came back and i was all sweaty and disgusting and my dad came out to the patio where i was reading the newspaper and he was like, i'm gonna need to you go to the store because your grandmother needs more ricatta cheese and we forgot it when papa and i went to the store this morning. i was like ok, but i'm taking a shower first becuase i'm gross and sweaty. he looked at me like i was out of my mind. he went and asked my grandmother if it was ok if i didn't go just right away and it was fine with her. he gets so tense very easily.
i didn't sleep very well last night. i'd say every night since i've gotten back here for the summer, i haven't been able to sleep. i wake up three or more times througout the night just cuz. so...i was really tired today and i was lying down on the couch sort of into a nap and my dad came up to me and was like, so you're taking the kids to the movies? and i was like uhhhh???? so, very much like always, my dad and his parents decided that instead of going to the beach today, it would be my job to entertain them and take the five kids to the movies. fabulous. i do these things quite frequently because i feel like i owe my parents for paying for my college, so i will generally do anything without a fuss. but today i was quite bitter. and then my dad yelled at me for not being totally excited about our excursion.
so i've now seen madagascar.
and while i'm just spending all my time complaining, i went into my room to take a nap after driving the kids about and then going back to pick up kim and kevin from their movie. and it seems like no one cared for that. like generally if i was visiting someone and staying in their room and they were sleeping in it...i'd probably stay out of it. but the whole time my cousin kept coming in asking me to get her on the internet and helping her back on when she got kicked off and my grandparents were in and out, grandma making all sorts of noise. bah. i like them. i do.
i'm not usually one for holding grudges but there was this one time in junior year when my mom had to go to korea for the year and dad was working a lot and i had the kids all the time. my grandparents came into town at one point and despite the fact that i was doing all the housekeeping, helping with the grocery shopping, driving the kids to everywhere they had to be driven, tryin to do high school etc., my grandmother told me one day that i needed to stop sitting around the house and help my dad. (he's the baby in his family) she said it was very hard for him to deal with my mom being away for so long, which i probably wouldn't understand and it wasn't fair to him that he had to do so much all the time. that day really made me mad and i guess it stuck with me. i mean, i've been helping parent the kids since i was like 12. and then a lot more then.
or today, kim was a little slow coming to dinner because she was lying down in her room because she had a really bad headache. well apparently my grandparents thought this was absolutely ridiculous, my dad got upset, and they decided that it was because she didn't eat all day or something (which she did. i'm not sure why they thought that). so when they're around, everything we say goes out the window and if they told my dad absolutely anything about us, he'd go with it. so tonight i was in the pool and kim was in the patio and my dad came out and yelled at her for having a headache earlier in the day and for pouting and being upset about it and just got all kinds of pissed off. apparently they had just yelled at him about it or something. i can't say i understand this family. the only person who seems to make sense is uncle ronnie, in the mafia.
i guess with the cousins, i like being around them but they are very very spoiled so if they do something bad, it's just fine. but like today kevin complained about steven not doing one of his chores or something (which was sort of annoying) and my grandmother seriously told him to stop bitching. i was like woah. i dont' know. there are many issues not worth fighting with them. like the racism thing. it drives the four of us absolutely insane.
anyways, i hope no one reads this. i think this is one of those times everyone always tells me i'll have, when i don't talk about things and then they all just come out in one big explosion. i'm not exploding but i needed to say all of that. i'd rather type it, i suppose. i feel like a brat complaining. i'm sure i do things that annoy them (obviously) and they have always been pretty good to me. they have good intentions. our household is just a lot different than theirs. i know it's wrong to sit here spouting about the things i don't like about them. i suck.
anyway, there's always tomorrow.
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