No sleep

[soadinsignia]

I haven't been sleeping a lot. I think I am using this as my excuse for being cranky, lazy, and lethargic. Or maybe its that its the 13th? I tend to be irrational and angry around the 13th, no joke. Hopefully my day, since it is now Tuesday, right? Isn't as bad as today was. I guess it wasn't really that bad, I'm just sooo damn stressed out. I keep making lists of things I have to do, and being so overwhelmed that I do barely any of it. I was talking to someone today about thinking of it as "one day at a time," to accomplish one thing at a time... but I'm having a really hard time doing so. Sometimes I feel like just giving up on everything, regardless of how far I've gotten.

Have you ever had the feeling when you see something that disappoints you in someone else, and you almost for a second, want to be them, just grovel in disgust for yourself and not do anything about it because you don't have to!! Just like they do?! I don't know if that even makes any sense to anyone. I just kind of had a bad weekend, in Michigan. It's hard when you expect a lot out of someone else, and they don't care. And therefor, you don't want to care either.

I wish I didn't care.

I wish I was care free and happy. (though I pretend I am)

I wish I could sleep.

I wish I ate healthy.

I wish I WAS healthy.

I wish I could stop expecting so much from everyone.

I wish I would stop making lists of things I wish I would do...