As the days go by.
As the days go by everything just seems clearer and clearer. I just see more and more faults. I try and just stop thinking but I can't. The moment I see those people who are a part of my regret or see how others are doing so much better I'm just so down.
It's something I don't know how to explain I just feel this way.
I know it's me that's making myself feel this way but there's just so much. I feel I don't measure up in anyway not to mention damages I've done to myself.
I know all my self esteem issues need to be let gone but I just can't.
Right now however the hardest thing for me is damaging myself.
Second to that is this girl I like. Or rather this girl is a cousin or something of some sort I know I guess I sound like some sick fool. I'm not into incest or anything.
To be honest some people have said we're not even cousins so I don't know whose really telling what...
Maybe I'm just so wrong as a person. We are what you can call grew up together or childhood sweethearts. Although I guess this is in the most unnatural way.
The whole cousin thing and other things held me back from telling her how I felt about her, still I can't stop thinking about her. I know it is just one-sided probably but yeah I just can't help but keep thinking about her. I try to stop but then when I see her the emotions and thoughts come flooding back. I don't know if it's because I avoided these feelings before, although I don't think they are even normal. With this happening I'm starting to wonder about the whole idea of having more than one person that's right for you. I used to always think there was someone else out there but I don't what it is but there is something in me that never lets me forget her no matter how hard I try. I guess there is no such thing as someone is meant for you because if there was could you actually pass up on them then?
I guess I'm just getting more and more weird by the day.
I hate so much about myself but I think if I could be able to heal my body I could live with the flaws.
It's something I don't know how to explain I just feel this way.
I know it's me that's making myself feel this way but there's just so much. I feel I don't measure up in anyway not to mention damages I've done to myself.
I know all my self esteem issues need to be let gone but I just can't.
Right now however the hardest thing for me is damaging myself.
Second to that is this girl I like. Or rather this girl is a cousin or something of some sort I know I guess I sound like some sick fool. I'm not into incest or anything.
To be honest some people have said we're not even cousins so I don't know whose really telling what...
Maybe I'm just so wrong as a person. We are what you can call grew up together or childhood sweethearts. Although I guess this is in the most unnatural way.
The whole cousin thing and other things held me back from telling her how I felt about her, still I can't stop thinking about her. I know it is just one-sided probably but yeah I just can't help but keep thinking about her. I try to stop but then when I see her the emotions and thoughts come flooding back. I don't know if it's because I avoided these feelings before, although I don't think they are even normal. With this happening I'm starting to wonder about the whole idea of having more than one person that's right for you. I used to always think there was someone else out there but I don't what it is but there is something in me that never lets me forget her no matter how hard I try. I guess there is no such thing as someone is meant for you because if there was could you actually pass up on them then?
I guess I'm just getting more and more weird by the day.
I hate so much about myself but I think if I could be able to heal my body I could live with the flaws.