!public, yes.
Today, I am happy.
I think it has a lot to do with putting my room in order last night, drudging out my easel, and coloring a picture of Hope with my copic markers. Though I love writing, I do; drawing has always had a special place in my heart. When I paint or sketch or color, I can zone out and concentrate wholly on the image itself. I don't have to think. With writing, my mind is constantly whirring. It's almost like I sink into the static of my brain and all my thoughts quiet. Art is a type of meditation for me--very centering.
I also put my journal of a nearly a year and a half to bed. I scribbled my last entry while at work. Sometimes, I feel the need to write my future self words of encouragement. The last two paragraphs:
On the last page of this journal, I inscribe these words - live to make yourself happy. You know your boundaries; it's okay push them. Keep believing in yourself even when times get hard. Those are the moments you need it most.
And hell, it's okay to throw caution to the wind every once in a while. No one accomplishes anything by playing it safe 100% of the time. It's okay for you to live your life for you. So enjoy the ride and take a risk.
I'm currently breaking in my new one as I type this. It's a pink with daisies, making me feel extra girly. *titters*
When I exercise freedom, my mood improves (inexplicably). I'm pushing against self-made barriers in work and my personal life. I can see the light of hope again. My job doesn't seem as dead end as I thought. I'm also thinking of things I want, for once. I'm starting to feel like someone again. Also, it's high time I come to terms with myself and stop pushing my feelings to the back burner. You can't fight gravity, so why fight yourself? [Coming to this realization is empowering. I hope it lasts.]
I'm ready for anything. Come on life, hit me with your best shot. :)
I think it has a lot to do with putting my room in order last night, drudging out my easel, and coloring a picture of Hope with my copic markers. Though I love writing, I do; drawing has always had a special place in my heart. When I paint or sketch or color, I can zone out and concentrate wholly on the image itself. I don't have to think. With writing, my mind is constantly whirring. It's almost like I sink into the static of my brain and all my thoughts quiet. Art is a type of meditation for me--very centering.
I also put my journal of a nearly a year and a half to bed. I scribbled my last entry while at work. Sometimes, I feel the need to write my future self words of encouragement. The last two paragraphs:
On the last page of this journal, I inscribe these words - live to make yourself happy. You know your boundaries; it's okay push them. Keep believing in yourself even when times get hard. Those are the moments you need it most.
And hell, it's okay to throw caution to the wind every once in a while. No one accomplishes anything by playing it safe 100% of the time. It's okay for you to live your life for you. So enjoy the ride and take a risk.
I'm currently breaking in my new one as I type this. It's a pink with daisies, making me feel extra girly. *titters*
When I exercise freedom, my mood improves (inexplicably). I'm pushing against self-made barriers in work and my personal life. I can see the light of hope again. My job doesn't seem as dead end as I thought. I'm also thinking of things I want, for once. I'm starting to feel like someone again. Also, it's high time I come to terms with myself and stop pushing my feelings to the back burner. You can't fight gravity, so why fight yourself? [Coming to this realization is empowering. I hope it lasts.]
I'm ready for anything. Come on life, hit me with your best shot. :)