(no subject)
So life is getting pseudo back on track, I have goals once again, and I think this time shit will really work out. And I guess I can thank Mr. Vonnegut, Mr. Hesse, and Mr. Kerouac for that. Which is funny, because I am pretty sure they are also to blame for a lot of my problems as of the last month or so.
Lately I have been observing my friends, and man, it's weird to see how different people become over such a short period of time. It's like, if there were any differences between us, they are completely magnified by a billion now. Not differences in a like disagreement way, but differences like, goals, and personality or whatever.
My life right now is no where near what I thought it would be this time last year. I figured I would be you know, just chillin' with the boys and getting into shit or whatever. But I can honestly say(and Austin will vouch) that I really think I am like a man, with like real responsiblities and shit. And sometimes, when I hangout with my friends I get sort of sad, and depressed....because I just don't feel like I used to, and I sort of feel left out, or left behind. I guess I can't really explain what I feel, but all I know is that I never thought my life would turn out this way in a million years, and if it did, not this soon.
Not to say that I am totally down on my life right now, it's just sometimes I get a little overwhelmed by how different it is, and how soon it happened. It is literally like I grew up over night, and it's taking a while for me to catch up. But like I said I think I am cool now. I can honestly say that I have never been happier. I guess the only real reason I freak out is because it's not the way I thought I would find happiness, at least this soon in my life.
I think I am also getting better at balancing my life, now that I have a job(finally) and a running(and stopping, thank god) car, I think I will be able to make time to hangout, and catch up with friends, from time to time. It's weird that it has taken me like seven or eight months to like figure shit out, and come up with a new game plan. But better later than later I suppose.
ps. sorry for anyone who took the time to read this, because it absolutely means nothing to you. except maybe Austin!
pps. this is really redundant, sorry
Lately I have been observing my friends, and man, it's weird to see how different people become over such a short period of time. It's like, if there were any differences between us, they are completely magnified by a billion now. Not differences in a like disagreement way, but differences like, goals, and personality or whatever.
My life right now is no where near what I thought it would be this time last year. I figured I would be you know, just chillin' with the boys and getting into shit or whatever. But I can honestly say(and Austin will vouch) that I really think I am like a man, with like real responsiblities and shit. And sometimes, when I hangout with my friends I get sort of sad, and depressed....because I just don't feel like I used to, and I sort of feel left out, or left behind. I guess I can't really explain what I feel, but all I know is that I never thought my life would turn out this way in a million years, and if it did, not this soon.
Not to say that I am totally down on my life right now, it's just sometimes I get a little overwhelmed by how different it is, and how soon it happened. It is literally like I grew up over night, and it's taking a while for me to catch up. But like I said I think I am cool now. I can honestly say that I have never been happier. I guess the only real reason I freak out is because it's not the way I thought I would find happiness, at least this soon in my life.
I think I am also getting better at balancing my life, now that I have a job(finally) and a running(and stopping, thank god) car, I think I will be able to make time to hangout, and catch up with friends, from time to time. It's weird that it has taken me like seven or eight months to like figure shit out, and come up with a new game plan. But better later than later I suppose.
ps. sorry for anyone who took the time to read this, because it absolutely means nothing to you. except maybe Austin!
pps. this is really redundant, sorry