verging on perfection
hi!
so it is 6 more days and then i am moving across the country to start the next chapter of my life. it was funny, last night i was on the phone with louis, and I said it's so weird becuase the first time i went to go see him in march 2005 he had had an appointment at the modelling agency he was with at the time an he left me to wander around downtown ottawa by myself in the blistering cold. and i got lost. and i found this cute little vintage store called 'the attic' and didn't buy anything because it was all over priced and then re-found him. and who would have thunk that almost 3 years later i would be living right down the street from that little vintage store with the man of my dreams... and not just some inconsistent man, the same man from the previous story. Except that everything has changed because he is a man now and when we met we were both boys... and we've learnt so much, and we are both terrified but completely elated. I love him more today then i did yesterday, and more tomorrow then i will today. And in 6 more days I will love him more than I've ever loved him before because we will be living together. weeee!! And we have all these amazing ideas and ventures and creativities that we want to do and explore and journey and eat and talk and see together. we are never going to stop because it will never end. there is no expiration at the end of this. in two weeks i wont be going home, in 4days we wont be leaving. it'll be permanent, so we can take our time because we have our whole lives ahead of us. and yet all that time still won't be enough time for us to do everything we want to, dream to, aspire to do together. but we will try, we will make a list, a how-to and we will push through as much as we can. and number one at that list is just to be happy and to never be ok with "just fine".
Last time Louis was here, 2 weeks ago, he said, what is great about our relationship is we are never complacent (except he didn't use that word). We are always trying to make it better, I mean we have our ups and downs like everyone, we aren't the "dream team" all the time but we aren't ever just ok with being fine. because fine is tired and boring it's not sorta just ok. and we both are so shallow that we want nothing less of utter perfection for the other. oh! ok ok so i feel like i'm bragging a bit, but you know what..? 3 years we've almost been together and I don't think i've bragged nearly enough. I'm not done showing him off to the world... so you will just have to listen and if you know me then it's ok to listen becaue you will know that i am never like this. so you will appreciate it. it feels right, it feels verging on perfection.
so it is 6 more days and then i am moving across the country to start the next chapter of my life. it was funny, last night i was on the phone with louis, and I said it's so weird becuase the first time i went to go see him in march 2005 he had had an appointment at the modelling agency he was with at the time an he left me to wander around downtown ottawa by myself in the blistering cold. and i got lost. and i found this cute little vintage store called 'the attic' and didn't buy anything because it was all over priced and then re-found him. and who would have thunk that almost 3 years later i would be living right down the street from that little vintage store with the man of my dreams... and not just some inconsistent man, the same man from the previous story. Except that everything has changed because he is a man now and when we met we were both boys... and we've learnt so much, and we are both terrified but completely elated. I love him more today then i did yesterday, and more tomorrow then i will today. And in 6 more days I will love him more than I've ever loved him before because we will be living together. weeee!! And we have all these amazing ideas and ventures and creativities that we want to do and explore and journey and eat and talk and see together. we are never going to stop because it will never end. there is no expiration at the end of this. in two weeks i wont be going home, in 4days we wont be leaving. it'll be permanent, so we can take our time because we have our whole lives ahead of us. and yet all that time still won't be enough time for us to do everything we want to, dream to, aspire to do together. but we will try, we will make a list, a how-to and we will push through as much as we can. and number one at that list is just to be happy and to never be ok with "just fine".
Last time Louis was here, 2 weeks ago, he said, what is great about our relationship is we are never complacent (except he didn't use that word). We are always trying to make it better, I mean we have our ups and downs like everyone, we aren't the "dream team" all the time but we aren't ever just ok with being fine. because fine is tired and boring it's not sorta just ok. and we both are so shallow that we want nothing less of utter perfection for the other. oh! ok ok so i feel like i'm bragging a bit, but you know what..? 3 years we've almost been together and I don't think i've bragged nearly enough. I'm not done showing him off to the world... so you will just have to listen and if you know me then it's ok to listen becaue you will know that i am never like this. so you will appreciate it. it feels right, it feels verging on perfection.