Oct 13, 2003 21:46
I feel like I need to make it perfectly clear to all of you who think I am how shall I say "shitting" on you. Last month I finally got a boyfriend as you all no. And as of last month ppl started attacking me saying that I never see them. Well I'm sorry but that is a bunch of shit. I see people just about the same as I always do and some of the ppl I used to see have recently gotten a job and are always busy. I hate the way you all feel the need to use my boyfriend as a reason why I don't visit. I mean YES I do like spending time with my boyfriend. Who wouldn't? I have just gotten in a relationship. Of course we are gonna be a lil attached at first but that will eventually calm down. Both of us are excited about it. We've both finally found someone we are happy with.
It just upsets me how now that I have something to keep me happy and ppl start freakin out on me. I really don't no how to word this. All last year I spent it by myself. I had no one to talk to and I was rather depressed most of the year. Mainly because I was lonely and when my sister was born I was sorda pushed aside and ignored. I still am. But now I have found someone who makes me happy and gives me their full attention unlike most of you. It's exactly what I need. I'm sorry if I don't see you that much but hey, it works both ways. If you want to see me or talk to me, you need to get a hold of me and ask me. It usually ends up that I already have plans and then other ppl decide to make other plans that day and I feel obligated to hang out with them and I get pissy. All I ask is for some time with my boyfriend. You all act like I spend all of my time with him and in reality I don't. I spend the most part of my time watching my sister or cleaning. I at the most see him for 5 minutes a day during the week and the weekends vary. Usually that's the only time I get to see him. I hate it the way ppl say I put family in front of friends. WOW! I got a boyfriend. UH OH! I'm puttin family in front of friends:0 I hate having to choose between people. I've never had this problem before. The point that I'm trying to get at with this post if ur lost, if ur gettin pissed off because I don't hang out with you anymore, don't just sit there and get mad at me. Why don't you ask me if I want to hang out. I plan stuff with my boyfriend because everyone is busy. I don't plan it because I'm tryin to avoid you.
Oh and to all of you that I never gave permission in the first place to read my journal, I would advise you to stop reading it. I've been having alot of issues with ppl being nosy lately and I hate puttin my journal on friends only. I'm really sorry that I'm happy now. I shouldn't be happy. That's what everyone wants because when I wasn't happy I visited more. I'm always doing something wrong. Nothing is ever right. Everytime I do something that to me feels good, people get mad at me. Every single day I go through this. Today has been worse than most days. Plz don't come attacking me tellin me that I'm a bitch. I really don't need it right now. I really didn't need it last week but I put up with it. More than likely I will just ignore you this time so don't even waste ur breath
~ashley