I wish everything was better...
Once again Im posting in here.
Once again no one reads, or cares if they do read.
Once again IM missing him so much.
Once again Im longing for so many things that I will never have.
Once again I cry, I get frustrated and hit things, I yell, I grind my teeth until it gives me an unbarable headache.
Once again I sit and wait for things to happen.
Ive lost everything.
Ive lost my thrive to go to school.
Ive lost the feeling of laughter around my friends.
Ive lost my friends, or did I ever really have them?
Ive lost my whole future.
I dont get up in the morning.
I dont go to school.
I dont do my online class work either.
I dont really go to work, IM there, but Im not.
I dont sleep at night.
I dont take care of my diabetes.
What do I do....
I sleep until 1.
I get dressed and go to "school"
Which means I get there in time to catch the bus to Citrus.
I wait around for my "friends" to get out of school so I can talk to them for a total of 10 minutes.
I wait for him everyday, but I never see him.
I ride around aimlessly waiting for the time to pass by.
I go home and pay no attention to a bitching grandmother.
I ignore the damn grandfather who is ignoring me.
I lay on my bed in the dark and listen to music or fall asleep until dinner.
I eat dinner in silence b/c I am only talking to one grandparent and everything ends in an arguement.
I go into my room and pretend to do homework, scholarship stuff but I really dont.
Eventually I give up on pretending and just go back to listening to music and sleeping.
I stay up all night smoking and fiddling on the computer and talking to another insomniac I know.
I disappear in the middle of the night, I really dont know where I go or what I do but I know I do it.
I have ended up in different places of the house I cant explain.
On another note...
I got shitfaced teh other night.
Not to proud, but some parts were fun.
But I did reach my goal, that was to get shit faced.
And now I can say I ahve done it and its off my list.
I dont plan on ever getting shitfaced again.
I made out all over my friend Matt.
I have made a new race....he is no longer white, he is now purple.
Literally he is purple.
ummm...I made good friends with my up-chuck reflexes.
And I made good friends with the floor.
I dont know.
Its all on tape so...Im sure my debu will be out soon.
Once again no one reads, or cares if they do read.
Once again IM missing him so much.
Once again Im longing for so many things that I will never have.
Once again I cry, I get frustrated and hit things, I yell, I grind my teeth until it gives me an unbarable headache.
Once again I sit and wait for things to happen.
Ive lost everything.
Ive lost my thrive to go to school.
Ive lost the feeling of laughter around my friends.
Ive lost my friends, or did I ever really have them?
Ive lost my whole future.
I dont get up in the morning.
I dont go to school.
I dont do my online class work either.
I dont really go to work, IM there, but Im not.
I dont sleep at night.
I dont take care of my diabetes.
What do I do....
I sleep until 1.
I get dressed and go to "school"
Which means I get there in time to catch the bus to Citrus.
I wait around for my "friends" to get out of school so I can talk to them for a total of 10 minutes.
I wait for him everyday, but I never see him.
I ride around aimlessly waiting for the time to pass by.
I go home and pay no attention to a bitching grandmother.
I ignore the damn grandfather who is ignoring me.
I lay on my bed in the dark and listen to music or fall asleep until dinner.
I eat dinner in silence b/c I am only talking to one grandparent and everything ends in an arguement.
I go into my room and pretend to do homework, scholarship stuff but I really dont.
Eventually I give up on pretending and just go back to listening to music and sleeping.
I stay up all night smoking and fiddling on the computer and talking to another insomniac I know.
I disappear in the middle of the night, I really dont know where I go or what I do but I know I do it.
I have ended up in different places of the house I cant explain.
On another note...
I got shitfaced teh other night.
Not to proud, but some parts were fun.
But I did reach my goal, that was to get shit faced.
And now I can say I ahve done it and its off my list.
I dont plan on ever getting shitfaced again.
I made out all over my friend Matt.
I have made a new race....he is no longer white, he is now purple.
Literally he is purple.
ummm...I made good friends with my up-chuck reflexes.
And I made good friends with the floor.
I dont know.
Its all on tape so...Im sure my debu will be out soon.