(no subject)
i am all alone this weekend. when people are around i dream of nothing but being my myself and relaxing. but now that i'm totally alone, i am crippled by anxiety.
i do not want to be alone. i need someone near me. i need life around me regardless of the quality of that life. i fear this is how my life will forever be. all of the space around me is empty and i'm fucking scared.
my mind never stops coming up with worst-case scenarios when i'm alone. what if someone breaks into the house? what if they rape me? what if i were to get in a car crash or something while everyone is gone? would they be able to reach someone to tell them what has happened to me? and even if they did reach someone would that person care enough to come back?
i am so incredibly lonely it just makes me want to cry.
i do not want to be alone. i need someone near me. i need life around me regardless of the quality of that life. i fear this is how my life will forever be. all of the space around me is empty and i'm fucking scared.
my mind never stops coming up with worst-case scenarios when i'm alone. what if someone breaks into the house? what if they rape me? what if i were to get in a car crash or something while everyone is gone? would they be able to reach someone to tell them what has happened to me? and even if they did reach someone would that person care enough to come back?
i am so incredibly lonely it just makes me want to cry.