i don't care if monday's blue..
oh my god i just lost the whole entry. oh well... starting over again...
Life is great again.. for no paticular reason, actually things kind of suck but I'm trying to ignore it.. haha I'm just high on life I suppose.. thats GOOD though, because I, Lovisa Axtell, am not doing drugs anymore. Ok, maybe just a little.. but really, I'm quitting. I woke up this morning and I was thinking, 'hmm, maybe i should smoke before school' then I was like, what the fuck are you doing Lovisa, is this really how you want to live your life, always thinking about drugs? Is that all you really care about, because thats how i was acting. I can't believe I let myself do that. Then today i was kinda happy because i decided not to do drugs anymore, and i would be like, "I'm so happy", and someone would say, "Ok, Lovisa, what are you on?" Seriously, how much worse could it get? It's all I've done for pretty much.. a year, and I've grown a reputation for it, Thats pretty fucked up if you ask me. Now that i think about it, ever since i moved in with my dad, everything's gone to shit. I have bad grades, I started drinking, smoking, and having sex. Wait, wasn't this what I was totally against two years ago? When my Mom died? When I realized I didnt want to ruin my life like that, exacltly like her. I was totally on track with my life, I decide to move in with my Dad and maybe things will get even better, I can even start my life over.. and what do I do? I fuck it up. Could I have done worse, yeah, but what I did I regret. And this is where I try again, This is where I'm supposed to turn my life around. I tell people around me this and they laugh. How can you laugh at something I'm so serious about? This isn't a joke, or some silly phase im going through. At least, I really hope not. I might not be able to do it alone, It might even take a few trys, but I will get through this.
On a sadder note..
Oregon teen dies after SUV flips over. An Oregon teenager was killed early Sunday in a traffic accident when the sports utility vehicle he was riding in overturned on Interstate 5.
Arin Bergquist, 15, was not wearing a seatbelt when the SUV went out of control about two miles north of Lost Hills Road just before 5 a.m.
The vehicle veered into the center median and overturned several times. The driver of the SUV and four other passengers were treated for minor to moderate injuries.
-From the Bakersfield newspaper.
Arin, you will be missed. I've known you throughout my life, and I know you didn't deserve this. You were a great person. Nicole, I'll be there in two weeks..