The Madripoor Pearl, Friday
Kitty
Kitty could definitely have been in a better mood as she and Derek made their way to the direction in which her GPS was telling her the hotel was, but maybe that was to be expected.
"If you spot something apparently huge and tacky, just yell," she said.
Derek
"You just asked me to yell about everything," Derek replied, glaring at anyone who got too close to him. He valued his personal space, okay? Valued it.
Kitty
Kitty shrugged. "You never know, it might be cathartic."
Derek
Derek rolled his eyes, moving closer to her. "It's loud and it smells here."
In ways you can't possibly understand, Kitty.
"This better be worth it."
Kitty
"It will be." Not that she'd make any guarantees or anything until she knew what kind of trouble Clint was in, specifically. "Thanks for coming with me."
Derek
Derek made a noise at that, not acknowledging it beyond that. Because of course he showed up. You bailed him out of jail.
"Not far off." He could see it with his elven werewolf eyes.
Kitty
"Good. Hopefully this'll be quick." Maybe she could punch out some bad guys. It'd been a while since she'd been able to do that. That would be nice.
Derek
Well, as long as they didn't have wolfsbane or arrows, he was a happy camper too.
Derek nodded, shoving more than a few people out of their way. He wasn't kidding about this place smelling, okay?
Kitty
"Don't shove people," Kitty frowned. "Are you six?"
Derek
"Do you want to get there or be stuck in this crowd?" Derek asked. Because it was Madripoor. And Madripoor was terrible.
Kitty
"I want to get there, but jeez, at least try an 'excuse me.'"
Even in a crabby mood Kitty insisted on politeness. Or maybe she insisted on it because she was in a crabby mood. Either way.
Derek
"Pretty sure that last guy was either trying to take my wallet or cop a feel," Derek shot back. "I'm not worried about rudeness."
Kitty
"Oh. Well as long as you still have your wallet," she said, and shrugged again. "I've been phasing this whole time, so."
Kitty was a big ol' cheater.
Derek
"So, you're cheating." SAID THE WEREWOLF.
Kitty
"It's not like there's a rule against it," she said, totally not denying it.
Derek
Derek rolled his eyes. "Get moving."
Kitty
"I'm going, I'm going. We're basically here anyway," she said, leading the way through the crowd to the door.
Derek
"He's here," Derek grumbled, head starting to hurt as he sorted through the scents. "I think."
Kitty
"Got an idea of where?" Kitty asked, looking around all the people to take in as much of the super fancy and super busy hotel as she could.
Derek
Derek sniffed again, scanning the room. "This way," he muttered, weaving his way through the crowd rather than pushing his way.
It was a faint scent, but there was always the hope of catching it stronger.
Kitty
"I like this. This makes it seem easy," Kitty noted as she followed, knowing full well that she shouldn't take that for granted because it'd probably blow up in the next five minutes or so.
Derek
As was their luck!
Derek came up short, grabbing hold of her arm. "Someone else is looking for him," he said, leaning in close to her ear like they were a romantic horny young couple. "The woman in the mask."
Seriously, a mask? How was that supposed to be normal?
Kitty
Boundaries, Derek. Boundaries.
But Kitty knew what he was doing, so she tried to be subtle in turning to look where he was indicating. "That would be Madame Masque, actually. Not very subtle, really."
Derek
"Starting to think no one here is subtle," Derek grumbled. "What now?"
Oh, she with the plan to find Clint.
Kitty
"Change of plans," Kitty said after a moment. "I have a really terrible idea."
At least she could admit it.
Derek
Well, it was probably light-years better than Derek's best idea. So.
"You're the one explaining this to Stiles," he grumbled. Because he knew the trouble he would somehow end up in from a goddamn teenager. Congrats, you have a werewolf on board with whatever bad plan you have in mind.
Clint
The fact that it had taken Clint an entire day to find the hotel was proof that Natasha would never need to worry about him taking her gig as SHIELD's best spy. Assuming, of course, that he made it out of this well enough to tell her what happened, or that he'd even be allowed to tell her at all.
Even though he'd blended in with Madripoor's cabbies, he'd still felt out of place all day, but nothing made him feel more like a sore thumb than stepping into the Madripoor Pearl in his ill-fitted suit. Thankfully the place was packed, and he tried to blend in with the crowd long enough to get deeper into the hotel, hoping he could find a high vantage point to observe everything from.
He knew that his presence would be noticed eventually, but he'd thought it would be on his own terms. Instead, he found himself surrounded as a black bag was slipped over his head. "Whoa, whoa!" he yelled, fighting the urge to fight back. No one was paying any attention to him being stolen away--freaking Madripoor--and making a scene by punching these goons out probably wouldn't make any difference. Somebody clearly wanted to see him, and he needed to make sure he was still in one piece when that happened.
He closed his eyes, because he couldn't see anything through the bag anyway and it helped him focus on listening as well as he could. The noise of the crowd went away as he was carted through doors, shut and locked behind him. There was a tile hallway, and someone with heels on. He felt the goons taking him left, and then right, and then he was held down and tied up. Clint resisted a little then, hoping it would make his bonds looser, but these guys seemed to know what they were doing, and he bit back as curse as he felt his suit jacket and pockets being searched. This was not going at all like he'd hoped.
Derek
Yeah, and it was probably about to get worse. So. There was that going for you, Clint.
The hood was yanked off suddenly, a foot jammed roughly between his legs to keep the chair in place. You know, for now. Derek had somehow procured a suit and sunglasses for this little plan of Kitty's, it would seem. Though the backhand he gave Barton? Possibly all for him. At least he was pulling his punches enough to keep from seriously damaging the guy. Still had to give a convincing show, though.
Clint
Oh, it was convincing all right, and Clint gazed up, blinking as he tried to clear his vision. "Well, hello to you too. Could you get a little more friendly there?"
Derek
"Hawkeye," Derek said, managing to put as much of a sneer into the name as humanly possible. Then he kicked the chair, sending poor, poor Barton backwards toward the ground.
Clint
Clint groaned as his head hit the floor, making everything a little hazy over the roar of rushing blood. He might have sworn at the guy, but it probably didn't come out very clearly.
Derek
"Got your passport," Derek said smoothly, possibly doing his best Chris Argent impression to get the threatening part down without seeming so obviously himself to Barton. "No weapons? Seems a little sloppy, don't you think?"
Clint
"Yeah, well, you're not the first set of assholes I've met today," Clint said. "Just don't take the AMEX Black or I'm gonna get beaten harder than you think you possibly could."
Derek
Derek tsked, foot on the chair with enough force to tip it back up, balancing precariously on the back two legs. "What'll you do to stop us?" he asked before letting it fall backwards again. "Don't worry, we'll mail you back to your boss in pieces."
"Madame Masque"
As it turned out, Kitty wasn't quite so okay with all the hitting. She knew it had to be done for show- for the other goons and for Clint- and speaking up would blow the whole thing, but that didn't mean she liked it. Actually, she was really glad she had a mask so no one could see her wincing.
She was glad for a chance to cut in here, though, because jeez, boys. "That's quite enough," she said, trying to change her voice a little so it wasn't as recognizable. "Take him up to my room now."
Derek
Hey now, he'd just been waiting on you, Kitty.
Derek moved around, keeping himself out of Barton's line of sight in order to pull the chair up from behind in order to allow the other men who believed her to be that stupid Madam Masque woman to drag him along to the room. "Yes, ma'am."
Clint
Clint made some noises of indignant protest, but really he was just trying to keep his concussion from getting a concussion. "For the record, I'm taken, so if you're thinking about taking me upstairs for some of the famous Hawkeye action, I'm gonna have to let you down," he said before trying to look around without actually moving his head too much. "What time is it?"
"Madame Masque"
Good Clint. And don't think she wasn't asking about that 'famous' thing later.
"Does it matter?" Kitty asked, still feeling like she was getting used to this new voice. And wishing she was a better actress.
Clint
"Kinda. I've got somewhere to be," Clint said. Somewhere that hopefully involved fewer blows to the head.
"Madame Masque"
"Do you now," she said, trying to sound nonplussed. "Where would that be?"
Kitty really hoped he gave an answer that wouldn't make anyone feel the need to punch him in the head, either.
Derek
Derek grabbed hold of his neck before anyone could feel the urge to step in to defend their boss' honor there. They did not need him to pass out on them during this, thanks.
Clint
Hey now Derek, choking was a safeword-worthy offense in Clint's book. "I'd bet everything in my pocket--which, at the moment, is a SHIELD credit card with literally no limit--against everything you've got that you and I are here for the same thing. The auction," he said. "The tape. Somebody got it and if it gets out... well, I'm dead and a lot of people are in trouble. So I'm here for the same reason as you - I want to buy it."
"Madame Masque"
Kitty studied him for a moment, and tried to sound casual when what she said next was partly to sound in character, and partly to see what he'd say. "Or I could just kill you now and save everyone some trouble. Not to mention saving myself millions," she pointed out.
Clint
Clint rolled his eyes because really, she wasn't the first person to suggest killing him and she certainly wouldn't be the last. "Whoever ends up with that tape is going to make billions," he said. "A SHIELD agent--an Avenger even, one of the heroes of the attack on New York--on tape committing the assassination of the world's most wanted criminal terrorist?" The world was surely a better place without the guy in it, but Clint doubted that anyone who wanted to get their hands on the tape would feel the same way. "I should be able to bid on it like any of you people."
"Madame Masque"
Yeah, Kitty was really grateful for the mask, because oh Clint.
She tried to keep herself from tensing up at hearing that, because Madame Masque probably knew exactly what was on that tape. "'You people,'" she repeated, frankly used to hearing that phrase in a much more derogatory way. "You talk a lot, but you haven't presented us with this supposed card yet."
Clint "It Was A Good Idea At The Time" Barton
"Yeah, well, I hid it," Clint said, shifting uncomfortably in the chair for emphasis.
In his defense, this had seemed like a perfectly decent idea a few hours ago. He was a little special.
"Madame The Mask Hides My Horror"
Kitty frowned at him, and then, with no small amount of horror, registered the shifting.
And looked down at the space between his legs.
You were never ever living this down, Clint. Years from now, Kitty would still be allowed to bring this up. BECAUSE REALLY.
"You didn't."
Derek Who Did Not Sign On For This, Sorry Not Sorry
"He did," Derek said with a deeply put upon sigh. Because of course this would happen to him. He really wanted to ask just how badly they needed that card. Because disemboweling him seemed like the better option here.
He sighed again, shoving a hand down the back of Clint's pants. For this? Kitty owed him so, so much.
"Madame Masque"
OH GOD WHAT WAS HAPPENING.
When they got out of here, Kitty was going to have to lecture Clint about the use of things like wallets, and... and she was never ever going to broach this subject with Derek again because oh god no what why.
She was just going to try and look anywhere else right now...
Clint
This was the exact thing Clint had been hoping to avoid, and he was so, so grateful SHIELD hadn't sent anyone with him to witness this.
Sigh.
"Geez, are you checking me for tumors or what?" he asked sharply, trying to resist the urge to squirm, because that was just going to make this worse.
Derek
THIS WAS AT LEAST THE FIFTH MOST TERRIBLE THING TO HAPPEN TO DEREK IN HIS LIFE. CONGRATS, BARTON.
Derek made a face, resisting the urge to snarl at him before pulling the damn credit card out. And then kindly offering it to Kitty. Deal with his pain, Kitty. Deal with it. "Madam."
"Madame Masque"
Boys were gross. Boys were so, so gross.
"Well, Mr. Barton, now we'll see just how truthful you've been," she said, and looked from the card to Derek. "Disinfect that first."
GO WASH YOUR HANDS, DEREK.
[NFB, OOC okay. Adapted from Hawkeye #4 and preplayed with the amazing throughaphase and justlurkinghere. :D :D :D Warnings for violence and a quick bit of non-sexual fisting. Sigh, Clint, sigh.]