Would You Like That With a Side of Frustration?

Jul 19, 2008 00:52

I guess I decided to make that extra entry after all.

I've had a lot of thoughts in my head lately about losing weight. I have a co-worker who is currently doing Jenny Craig. This is in the midst of my own personal struggle with weight loss (and gain), so it has struck a particular chord with me. After loosing all those pounds in May, and since gaining it all (plus more) back I've had to seriously reconsider my fitness tactics.

First of all, I want to clarify that fitness is more important to me than being skinny for the sake of it. I want to be a surrogate for as many families as I can (not to mention that I want to have my own children) and for that to happen I need the kind of body that can take a lot of physical demand. I want to be healthy, I want to live a long life, I want to set a good example for the women I work with in my career (I want to be a midwife) and I also want to show my friends and family that good eating and active living pays off.

Unfortunately, I have a lot of bad habits. Let's face it, most of us do. And the key to keeping the weight off is to truly begin a new lifestyle. A total change in thinking and living. This is what I have been considering especially lately. I have heard horror stories from my mom about her days of yo-yo dieting. You try the new fad, shed the pounds and then gain back even more. Over and over this happens to millions of women all over the world. I believed it, but now after experiencing this for myself I am MUCH more cautious to begin another weight-loss "journey" without thoroughly analyzing whether or not I am ready to break my habits. And if I am, which is the best way to go about it?

If I had a nickel for every result that came up if you typed "weight loss" and  "change your life" into google, I could probably pay for full-body liposuction. There is just so much information coming our way about these sorts of things. Here try this new idea! or Hey I found the way that works! Good grief. Isn't it clear to folks by now that the way that "works" is individual to each and every one of us? Nothing works the same way twice and it's more than just following steps, it's about growing and changing into the person that works for you. How could that ever be replicated for two people?

So with that question in mind, I've been mulling the past few weeks (while eating some of my favourite forbidden foods) and have to be honest with you all -- I don't have the answer yet. I don't even think it's an answer so much as coming up with that commitment within yourself. Once I find that, I don't think there will be much stopping me. There never is, when you think about it. Somehow though, it's always way easier said than done.

If you asked me what my weakest trait has always been, discipline would be my answer. I know it sounds cliche, and maybe for a lot of people it is. But for me is the dead-honest answer. When it came to finishing homework, keeping my room clean or telling myself to leave that scab alone I would last all of maybe a day. I would get panic attacks at night fretting over being in trouble with teachers due to unfinished homework and assignments and still, still, I wouldn't do it. Every report card would come home the same -- Needs to work on Time Management. Needs to work on Self Starting. Needs to work on Self Discipline. Weak-willed and procrastination are my middle names.

It is changing now. Slowly but surely I am becoming an adult who has more control over her choices and behaviour than ever. I haven't made it quite as far as turning down the doritos or getting myself to the gym, but it's going to have to happen soon. Because my expanding waist-line can't take much more of this.

thoughts, weight-loss

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