Is it any wonder?
As time goes by, everything gets much harder, yet much easier. On one hand I have never met a more vindictive person than my ex-boyfriend. Purposefully leaving away messages and changes to various online profiles celebrating his new found... whatever this is. And it isn't official til it's on facebook right? Well, lucky me, it's now official. I can't say I'm shocked, only appalled at the ever-increasing volume of lies his rotten head has been expelling. I thought I knew him. AND I thought I loved him. The important part here is that through all of his actions, that which I thought would be a nearly impossible feat has become absolutely and utterly immediately possible: getting over him. I find it unbelievably difficult to regard this situation with anything but loathing. I would love to say that our relationship was glorious, but it wasn't. I'd like to say he treated me like gold, but he didn't. I'd like to say I was happy, but I wasn't. What I was was in love. What I am now is finished with letting him keep me down. So you've got a new girlfriend. So you were finished with me before you even decided to break up with me. So... here I go... on my own... and not afraid. Not very, anyway.
I'm just a little confused.
And rather tired.
As far as how my week has gone, very decently indeed, most all things aside. I have been spending a vast amount of time with Nicholas and... it's been wonderful. A man who holds attentive listening as a standard and not a privelege? Anyway, it's refreshing talking to him and listening in return. But anyway.
Jess has been my favorite. Constantly reminding me that Graham's new name (very mature) is Loser Assface and also being conducive to each other's sins. She also let me drag her into the bathroom in our pajamas last night and turn the showerhead on us. We were soaked and it was beautiful. Pictures on facebook as usual.
Otherwise I've been slacking horribly on work due to the fact that I feel better when I'm occupied. I don't miss him. (We're back to my break-up again...) I just feel a profound sense of loss of time. Let me know if this makes sense...
I'm Stage Manager for Shannon Hancock's lunchtime and monologue. Another thing to occupy my time with. So much for doing homework in a timely fashion.
I was found passed out and cuddling with my trash can Saturday night. Basically, I think I'm trying to kill myself.
Intramural football starts tomorrow. Pirates of Sloth playing at 4 PM. I'm actually kind of excited, even though I hate football and I generally blow major amounts of ass at being useful. I can snap a football like nobody's business though. That I can say for myself.
And I love Hannah so much, and I abhor what time is doing to everyone. There are no words to describe how sorry I feel, and the only reason I won't attempt to find them is because I know she knows I care very much. And that's my piece about that. I love you, Han.
Peace out.
I'm just a little confused.
And rather tired.
As far as how my week has gone, very decently indeed, most all things aside. I have been spending a vast amount of time with Nicholas and... it's been wonderful. A man who holds attentive listening as a standard and not a privelege? Anyway, it's refreshing talking to him and listening in return. But anyway.
Jess has been my favorite. Constantly reminding me that Graham's new name (very mature) is Loser Assface and also being conducive to each other's sins. She also let me drag her into the bathroom in our pajamas last night and turn the showerhead on us. We were soaked and it was beautiful. Pictures on facebook as usual.
Otherwise I've been slacking horribly on work due to the fact that I feel better when I'm occupied. I don't miss him. (We're back to my break-up again...) I just feel a profound sense of loss of time. Let me know if this makes sense...
I'm Stage Manager for Shannon Hancock's lunchtime and monologue. Another thing to occupy my time with. So much for doing homework in a timely fashion.
I was found passed out and cuddling with my trash can Saturday night. Basically, I think I'm trying to kill myself.
Intramural football starts tomorrow. Pirates of Sloth playing at 4 PM. I'm actually kind of excited, even though I hate football and I generally blow major amounts of ass at being useful. I can snap a football like nobody's business though. That I can say for myself.
And I love Hannah so much, and I abhor what time is doing to everyone. There are no words to describe how sorry I feel, and the only reason I won't attempt to find them is because I know she knows I care very much. And that's my piece about that. I love you, Han.
Peace out.