And I want to thank you ~Ryan Huston
I wasn't mad. At all. I swear to the Mother I wasn't. I was hurt, beyond all belief, beyond all description, yes. But I wasn't mad. And now? And now...
Anyway.
Party Friday night. This house lost its goddamned mind. The drama llama came to town and stayed until 5:15 AM when the two last little mice of Carlisle House, Nicholas and myself, finally went to bed.
On that subject: Nick, you know this, but you've helped me so much just by letting me use your futon for all kinds of various escapes. You are an outstanding friend. Seriously.
I hate sleeping in my bed. I absolutely hate it. I fucking smell him everywhere and I can see him and feel him. I FUCKING HATE IT. I HATE IT. So last night, in lieu of going to bed at a normal hour I sucked down a cup of coffee and read poetry until I thought my brain would collapse. And it did. But Cory and Nick let me chill out in their room until exhaustion and sadness overcame me and I knew I needed to sleep.
I'm loving living in this house quite suddenly. Study parties (talking parties) on the porch. House dinners. Shoe Kombat with Brian. Being snuggled to death by Sarah and Jess as we cried and cried and cried at Rent. Being drunk. Being loved. Being snuggled.
Especially the snuggling. Snuggling is nice.
Thank you to all of you wonderful friends who have called, IM'd or commented me. It helps to know I have a small army of amazing people out there. I love you guys.
I'm very depressed. And my stomach hurts. And if I give in to the way I'm feeling, I'll spend the rest of the afternoon trying to vomit up my emotions but all that will come out is angry dry heaving. Because I haven't eaten anything but an Oreo since I sneaked some pasta at dinner. And I don't know if I plan to.
Anyway.
Party Friday night. This house lost its goddamned mind. The drama llama came to town and stayed until 5:15 AM when the two last little mice of Carlisle House, Nicholas and myself, finally went to bed.
On that subject: Nick, you know this, but you've helped me so much just by letting me use your futon for all kinds of various escapes. You are an outstanding friend. Seriously.
I hate sleeping in my bed. I absolutely hate it. I fucking smell him everywhere and I can see him and feel him. I FUCKING HATE IT. I HATE IT. So last night, in lieu of going to bed at a normal hour I sucked down a cup of coffee and read poetry until I thought my brain would collapse. And it did. But Cory and Nick let me chill out in their room until exhaustion and sadness overcame me and I knew I needed to sleep.
I'm loving living in this house quite suddenly. Study parties (talking parties) on the porch. House dinners. Shoe Kombat with Brian. Being snuggled to death by Sarah and Jess as we cried and cried and cried at Rent. Being drunk. Being loved. Being snuggled.
Especially the snuggling. Snuggling is nice.
Thank you to all of you wonderful friends who have called, IM'd or commented me. It helps to know I have a small army of amazing people out there. I love you guys.
I'm very depressed. And my stomach hurts. And if I give in to the way I'm feeling, I'll spend the rest of the afternoon trying to vomit up my emotions but all that will come out is angry dry heaving. Because I haven't eaten anything but an Oreo since I sneaked some pasta at dinner. And I don't know if I plan to.