EHR
So, they say that swearing angrily is a sign that you've lost control of the situation. So:
FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKING FUCKER FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK....
It wasn't my fault I sucked so bad at my audition. It really wasn't. I was Macbethed and good lucked to within an inch of my life. The assload of tea I drank couldn't save me. Neither could a truck full of confidence. It sealed it - I was going to suck today. After Graham said both "good luck at your audition" and "it's like saying Macbeth!" I should have stopped there. I shouldn't have even considered going anywhere near Kline today. After dropping my water filter so it came apart on the floor, knocking my trash can over so garbage spilled all over the rug, dropping my laptop and LOCKING MYSELF OUT OF MY ROOM you'd think I could take a hint right? Absolutely not. It wouldn't be like me to listen to my intuitions. So I went anyway. I warmed up with Will, and actually sang my song decently there. Will is the first person for whom I have ever, by choice, sung a piece from a musical. Then I had my acting auditions. Truth to be told, I did pretty well there. I was happy. But then I had to sing. And it would have been okay, maybe, but the first thing went wrong - I forgot my audition sheet and then couldn't find it in the lobby. When I did, finally, I dashed back in and was a bit shaken. Then as I was going on stage the woman holding the auditions said that she really wanted to see me do the song well because it was one of her favorites. INSTANT pants-peeing mode. I was so freaked out. Showemotion begood showemotion movewell enunciate showemotion favoritesong. That's what ran through my head as I took my final breath before beginning the song. The effect? Throat closure. Seizing of fluid, beautiful movement of any kind from these vocal chords. Utter frog syndrome. Not to mention, shaking limbs and over/under exaggerated movement. I. Fucked. It. Up. But then, she had me sing a bunch of other things, which weren't so bad. But how much attention are you going to pay to someone who can't perform their song but does really well in warm-ups?!?! Not very much, I'd wager.
Fuck.
And Anthony made me feel a bit better with this quote about the freak-out I had over the woman loving I Dreamed a Dream so much that she had to tell me:
unearthlyplague1: i bet they actually think to themselves, wow i'm bored, how about i shit on someone's dreams today
FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCKING FUCKER FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK....
It wasn't my fault I sucked so bad at my audition. It really wasn't. I was Macbethed and good lucked to within an inch of my life. The assload of tea I drank couldn't save me. Neither could a truck full of confidence. It sealed it - I was going to suck today. After Graham said both "good luck at your audition" and "it's like saying Macbeth!" I should have stopped there. I shouldn't have even considered going anywhere near Kline today. After dropping my water filter so it came apart on the floor, knocking my trash can over so garbage spilled all over the rug, dropping my laptop and LOCKING MYSELF OUT OF MY ROOM you'd think I could take a hint right? Absolutely not. It wouldn't be like me to listen to my intuitions. So I went anyway. I warmed up with Will, and actually sang my song decently there. Will is the first person for whom I have ever, by choice, sung a piece from a musical. Then I had my acting auditions. Truth to be told, I did pretty well there. I was happy. But then I had to sing. And it would have been okay, maybe, but the first thing went wrong - I forgot my audition sheet and then couldn't find it in the lobby. When I did, finally, I dashed back in and was a bit shaken. Then as I was going on stage the woman holding the auditions said that she really wanted to see me do the song well because it was one of her favorites. INSTANT pants-peeing mode. I was so freaked out. Showemotion begood showemotion movewell enunciate showemotion favoritesong. That's what ran through my head as I took my final breath before beginning the song. The effect? Throat closure. Seizing of fluid, beautiful movement of any kind from these vocal chords. Utter frog syndrome. Not to mention, shaking limbs and over/under exaggerated movement. I. Fucked. It. Up. But then, she had me sing a bunch of other things, which weren't so bad. But how much attention are you going to pay to someone who can't perform their song but does really well in warm-ups?!?! Not very much, I'd wager.
Fuck.
And Anthony made me feel a bit better with this quote about the freak-out I had over the woman loving I Dreamed a Dream so much that she had to tell me:
unearthlyplague1: i bet they actually think to themselves, wow i'm bored, how about i shit on someone's dreams today