Dear Diary
So here is a slightly better account of what happened in class. The prof and I had been arguing back and forth the whole class period and finally he snapped and wanted to put me in my place. I had just had enough of biological justifications for social hierarchies.
He was being perscriptive rather than descriptive about sex roles. Women are like this, men are like this, the end. Also racist, I thought. He's a social darwinist, I really think. I had just had enough. I challanged his alpha-dogness. I didn't mean to, I just opened my mouth and started contradicting him. But I saw nothing to represent myself in any of that crap he was teaching. In fact, I saw a society in it that I wanted no part of.
He apologized to everybody the next day, and he kept it really light-hearted and nice. And it was really amazing that he could do that. We've studied how one person's energy affects the class and how play behavior can make ammends for things, and I don't know how he did it, but he did.
However, it is still really uncomfortable for me, especially since my whole cohort saw me break down like that. God.
Also, I am drowning in stupid school work and am attracted to probably the one friend I have, who is straight and married. It's uncomfortable because---it totally is.
Also, I've realized that I open my mouth and feminist stuff just comes out. Does this make some people uncomfortable. I think yes, it really, really does. Much more at the U. Do some men feel personally attacked? I've never considered that before--because I'm not attacking them. I think of it as criticizing the structure.
Navigating life is tres difficile.
Harry and the Potters are playing on Monday and I JUST WANT TO GO, JEEZ.
He was being perscriptive rather than descriptive about sex roles. Women are like this, men are like this, the end. Also racist, I thought. He's a social darwinist, I really think. I had just had enough. I challanged his alpha-dogness. I didn't mean to, I just opened my mouth and started contradicting him. But I saw nothing to represent myself in any of that crap he was teaching. In fact, I saw a society in it that I wanted no part of.
He apologized to everybody the next day, and he kept it really light-hearted and nice. And it was really amazing that he could do that. We've studied how one person's energy affects the class and how play behavior can make ammends for things, and I don't know how he did it, but he did.
However, it is still really uncomfortable for me, especially since my whole cohort saw me break down like that. God.
Also, I am drowning in stupid school work and am attracted to probably the one friend I have, who is straight and married. It's uncomfortable because---it totally is.
Also, I've realized that I open my mouth and feminist stuff just comes out. Does this make some people uncomfortable. I think yes, it really, really does. Much more at the U. Do some men feel personally attacked? I've never considered that before--because I'm not attacking them. I think of it as criticizing the structure.
Navigating life is tres difficile.
Harry and the Potters are playing on Monday and I JUST WANT TO GO, JEEZ.