just felt like writing
the nights that im actually home, i cant help but start to think if this is worth anything. im getting too old for best friends.
cocaine
everyone knows blow is a devil that takes more than it gives. breath in, line, breath in another, line, you always need more,line, you cant focus straight,line, but all you can do is focus on focusing, line,after line, after line. all the energy is there. you can taste it dripping down the back of your throat. you feel good. normal. intact. but stop before your heart explodes. you cant remember how much you did. ever. you keep fidgeting with your nose, hands, teeth, feet,anything you can grab.SOCIAL. dont forget to tell your life story. talk about history. talk about whats bothering you, talk about anything and everything as fast as you can. run on sentences. you can feel your heart hitting your lungs. its disapearing.you want to sleep. youre so awake. you feel depressed.angry.you want more. youre never going to touch drugs again. youre shaking. you cant stop shaking. your jaws locked. dont get scared. take some lortab and calm down. hopefully your nose doesnt bleed.
lsd 12 pm
the pieces are so small. put 2 on your tounge. wait 20 minutes. swallow. you wont feel anything for another 20. you just start to feel happy. why the fuck are you so happy. the worst could happen. but its okay. everything starts to move. you see all the detail. every partical as a seperate piece.they all follow their own direction. it changes. you feel like laying down. whose eyes are you looking out of? my body is melting to the floor. nothing hurts though. i could swear i sunk inside myself and looked out. my particals melt back together and i stand up.its okay. everything feels like its being done for the first time. i could swear i was just born. i know how to walk. but it just feels as though im doing it differently. go to the bathroom. get caught in the mirror. pick yourself apart inside and out. for a moment in your life understand absolutely everything. know the things you really like, everything you really want. its best to write it down. but you cant your stuck in the mirror. 2 hours and your eyes never left your eyes. touching your face. you notice all the dents, curves, wrinkles,pores, colors. everything. you notice everything. someone walks in and pulls you away. lay in the bath tub. the waters not on. but its okay. collect yourself and go see your friends. turn the music on. feel every sound. taste every word. touch every vibration. your sense are mixed, you feel comfortable. its all okay. the walls are moving in and out. the floors waving . objects are shaking. how far do you want this to go. your scared. you feel like theres nothing you can do. cry. scream. ball up. talk yourself through it. its okay. sit by your friends. touch everything. arms, backs,legs, necks, stomachs, chest. hands. its feels so good. not quite sexual. just comfortable. but its okay. draw. hear the drawing. follow the lines. its fascinating. your face is lit up. all smiles. nothing but happy. just want to be close. just want to be far. just want to be anywhere, because its all okay. the suns coming up, youve been in for 7 hours. walk out of the apartment. yourimagination makes everything seem like anything. the wind has never felt the way it does. you arent hungry or tired or anything. you are just okay.the trips over. sleep for a day. wake up new. you have so much to say.
cocaine
everyone knows blow is a devil that takes more than it gives. breath in, line, breath in another, line, you always need more,line, you cant focus straight,line, but all you can do is focus on focusing, line,after line, after line. all the energy is there. you can taste it dripping down the back of your throat. you feel good. normal. intact. but stop before your heart explodes. you cant remember how much you did. ever. you keep fidgeting with your nose, hands, teeth, feet,anything you can grab.SOCIAL. dont forget to tell your life story. talk about history. talk about whats bothering you, talk about anything and everything as fast as you can. run on sentences. you can feel your heart hitting your lungs. its disapearing.you want to sleep. youre so awake. you feel depressed.angry.you want more. youre never going to touch drugs again. youre shaking. you cant stop shaking. your jaws locked. dont get scared. take some lortab and calm down. hopefully your nose doesnt bleed.
lsd 12 pm
the pieces are so small. put 2 on your tounge. wait 20 minutes. swallow. you wont feel anything for another 20. you just start to feel happy. why the fuck are you so happy. the worst could happen. but its okay. everything starts to move. you see all the detail. every partical as a seperate piece.they all follow their own direction. it changes. you feel like laying down. whose eyes are you looking out of? my body is melting to the floor. nothing hurts though. i could swear i sunk inside myself and looked out. my particals melt back together and i stand up.its okay. everything feels like its being done for the first time. i could swear i was just born. i know how to walk. but it just feels as though im doing it differently. go to the bathroom. get caught in the mirror. pick yourself apart inside and out. for a moment in your life understand absolutely everything. know the things you really like, everything you really want. its best to write it down. but you cant your stuck in the mirror. 2 hours and your eyes never left your eyes. touching your face. you notice all the dents, curves, wrinkles,pores, colors. everything. you notice everything. someone walks in and pulls you away. lay in the bath tub. the waters not on. but its okay. collect yourself and go see your friends. turn the music on. feel every sound. taste every word. touch every vibration. your sense are mixed, you feel comfortable. its all okay. the walls are moving in and out. the floors waving . objects are shaking. how far do you want this to go. your scared. you feel like theres nothing you can do. cry. scream. ball up. talk yourself through it. its okay. sit by your friends. touch everything. arms, backs,legs, necks, stomachs, chest. hands. its feels so good. not quite sexual. just comfortable. but its okay. draw. hear the drawing. follow the lines. its fascinating. your face is lit up. all smiles. nothing but happy. just want to be close. just want to be far. just want to be anywhere, because its all okay. the suns coming up, youve been in for 7 hours. walk out of the apartment. yourimagination makes everything seem like anything. the wind has never felt the way it does. you arent hungry or tired or anything. you are just okay.the trips over. sleep for a day. wake up new. you have so much to say.