18
today i am 18. "18 what?" you ask.
years.
i am 18 years old this day, 9-26 @10:26.
i do not feel any strnog sense of wisdom overflowing my brain. i am not any more mature than i was yesterday. (although, i was pretty mature already.)
i am not any taller, more grown-up looking, or adult-like in any way.
i am still jessica.
i am still that silly girl who makes jokes about everything. (including herself)
i am still a golfer. i am still a follower of Christ. i am still a pizza maker.
i am still a loving friend. i am still a faithful companion.
i am some things new, but really, they're just self-discoveries through the summer until now.
i believe my heart has softened and i am a hopeless romantic.
i have opened my eyes to the hearts of many.
i have left my comfort zone to join other's in their's. (no matter how small/stupid the task)
i have independently sought to strengthen my relationship with Christ.
i have found joy in the most unexpected eyes.
i have grown.
i don't think it's possible to make miraclous changes in just one day. who does?
what i do believe in is the gradual growth a person goes through upon entering adulthood.
i think know i still have tons of growing to do. my journey isn't over yet.
but, there are some other things i need to overcome to pierce my fears dead in the heart.
i'm still afraid to be loved. i'm still afraid of heights. i'm still afraid of confined spaces.
i'm still afraid to be alone.
even though i have found myself untterly confused, completely alone, and extremely overwhelmed,
i know there is peace out there.
i'm praying that day by day i will not fall into depression.
i'm praying that a few will "get it."
i'm praying that my life will not go by too quickly and that i will enjoy it while it lasts.
i'm praying for the future of my friends and that i will still know them in 10 years.
i'm praying for "mr. perfect"
i'm praying for world unity.
i'm praying.
period.
amen.