It's cause you have a fucking problem

Mar 20, 2006 15:21

I'm still not sure what the purpose of this journal is, or what I was going to make it out. I thought about how honesty and vulnerability would be "kewl", and like, I was also thinking about how my bias against whining would get in the way of that. Things would come out as facetious instead, and it's not always necessary to be a smart-ass about stuff.

There's this threshold of honesty that's really hard to get by, too. Especially on the internet, where things can be so dubious and sometimes quixotic. People can tell you whatever they want to, and it's really hard to prove, sort of like how it's hard to prove whether or not this "God" character exists, or whether it really fucking matters.

Admittedly, I've always been self conscious about this threshold, and I might even hold back on some of the things I'd otherwise say here. In fact I do that a lot for fear that they might come out as pretentious or out of character, or downright lying. And people will take whatever you say for granted and it ends up spinning a web of lies so the deception of M.Bison could be uncovered.

Speaking of which, that's sort of where the threshold applies, is the social element in the online journals as opposed to the one to yourself. It's a lot easier to be honest with yourself, though if you wrote in LJ like you would in a regular journal or diary you'd come off as really autistic or attention whorish or something and that's just funny.

Like, you could talk about your fantasies and dreams, and all you're doing is asking for pity and help to realize your dreams. Meanwhile there are like a bunch of dying people out there, and pardon my tapping into this situation, whose only dreams are eating food and/or maybe other people. They don't get to whine about having furrysex or not going to anime conventions. Actually, they can whine, but I highly doubt that those are on the top of their to-do list at the moment.

But that's not the point right now because the point is that people try to seem so special and worthwhile by stating their fantasies and dreams, but anyone can do that. Anyone can talk about what they think is sexy, or what their dream girl or guy is. Just ask them, and if they're honest enough to say, they'll probably give you a pretty good answer. Or otherwise they will tell you to fuck off and stop being perverted.

Especially in an environment like livejournal which is highly conducive to expressing one's so-called inner thoughts. These are mine, I guess, but even I think about what I'm gonna say when I say it, and that's a mental process of course. You don't even really have to put effort or thought into fantasies as fantasies exist within the unconscious, but if you want to think otherwise, that's sort of like suggesting that your weiner or vagina is your brain.

Which I guess would make sense to a degree.

It is like, many people have lurking fantasies, and that's why people like Fred Durst are visibly sexually frustrated and have to make rap nu metal or whatever they call their junk these days. They're only worried that someone will make fun of their idealistic fascinations, and then the only obstacle that exists is one's self esteem. That's not even a high hurdle either. People are just being dumb

The point of the point of the point is that people are clearly dumb and need help, but admitting wanting help is not as attractive unless you do it in a manly way, or if you're a female you can ask for help while flaunting your boobies or panties at us.

Which is totally fine by me of course.
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