stupid hurricanes!!!!!!!!
ok so hurricane frances came by these past couple days, and ive been stuck in this god damn house for like 4 frickin days except for the timei went over to carmens house friday night. that was fun, walking around and scaring her mom lol, and making bracelets while watching who framed roger rabbit wen the power came bak on. the power went out twice saturday, and it was sooo hott, and dark inside the house cuz of the of the shutters being down and all. so i was really bored, so me and my mom played monopoly for like ever and omg i lost sooo bad, i only had like 20 bucks and i owed the bank 490 dollars so yea lol.. and i tried to sleep during the storm, but the wind was so loud, and shit kept hitting my window. and my one window above my bed kept leaking and it was like drip drip drip so i cildnt sleep at all. and wats really freaked up is i was sick when we were sposed to go to our neighbors for dinner, mind you during the hurricane, and my mom didnt believe me that i was sick, so she grounded me for a month from the phone, and 6 months from the movies.. it really sucks, so wen they left, i started slamming my head into the desk trying to i dunno at least pass out or sumthin.. but yea i thought of logan and i culdnt do it. i promised him i wuld never do that or ever think of doing that so i stopped and just started crying. here i am sick and scared and i culdnt do nething. i mean i was even thinking of running away, but the only place close by was jonathan, and he couldnt talk when i called him, and i was thinking of going to logans, but thats far away and id proly have died before i got there, because of the hurricane. so i just sat there on my bed in tears for like 2 hours til my parents finally got home. and my mom didnt care, im still grounded. i mean i completely wanna just leave rite now. it felt like no one believed me. so yea.. and then today was just all blah. i got to talk to logan which was good cuz i was worried hed get like blown away or sumthin.. but jonathan was kinda being mean about it. like i told him i was worried about logan and he was like if your so worried why dont you go out with him again. i mean god damn, logan still is my friend, cant i worry about my friends without being criticized? i mean yea i still love logan, but i love jonathan so much, its like he doesnt see that.. he doesnt want to believe that i am into him and only him at this point.. i mean he doesnt even know how many times one of my guy friends wants to come over and fuck and im like no i cant do that to jonathan. i wont cheat on him.. but i dunno he doesnt see any of that. i mean i know he has chick friends.. do i care that hes with them all the time? no cuz i trust and love him.. but it doesnt feel like he feels the saem, becuz everytime i try to talk to him about this stuff, he changes the subject and i cant talk to him. and it bugs me.. i want to know stuff ya kno? i dont want to be left out. cuz one day hes gonna break up with me and i wont know y and ill be crying so much, i dont know what id do. i know i wont break my promise to logan, but i cant say i wont run away or something, i mean i just dont know what id do. i need him, but i dunno. o well moms telling me to get off, so i g2g. i love yu jonathan. te amo! and to everyone else i love yu 2!