You got some s'plainin to do.....
I think my last "for serious" post was the one where I said I'm no longer majoring in physics. I haven't really explained why and I suppose thats because I myself am a little rusty on the details.
long rant that I couldn't create a cut for cause I don't know how-starts here.
Basically I never REALLY wanted to be a physicist. Part of the reason I chose physics was because I wasn't sure what else to major in. I didn't want to go into college with no direction so I somewhat randomly picked physics. Not to mention the fact that one of mymain goals in life is to earn a good enough income so that I am able to take care of my mom and my sister. With a career in physics I thought I could do that. I also knew that I had above average skill in math and science. So, why not?
I have to admit though there are other reasons as well. I've always been irked my my own abilities. Its kind of hard to explain properly. I'm not saying this with any degree of vanity or of being fullof myself, whatever you may call it. I think that I tend to be above average in basically any subject I study. I suppose thats why they call it "gifted" (I still think thats a really lame word...gives me the shivers...). This would seem to be okay, but the fact is I'm not REALLY spectacular at anything. I don't have any subject that I am undoubtedly the best in. I mean take Jei for example. She's got to be the singularly best writer I've ever met, dammit. Elaine....she's got her own brand of spectacular ^^. She has such a passion for the things she does that she could never go wrong. I thnk Vince has the whole art-thing going for him. Me? nothing. When people think Stephanie what to they think? Science? maybe, but only cause I've promoted that side of my interests. The truth is I'm just as good at science as I am anything else. Its frustrating. I feel like there is nothing that stands out about me. There is nothing that I am solely focused on or passionate about. (well except maybe fashion, but lets not go there)
So I think maybe part of my decision to major in physics was because no one else I knew was doing it and I guess that gave me some domain. Something no one else had. I dunno.
Anyways I guess I realized that I've been putting in a whole lot of effort towards a subject I don't really care about all that much. Yeah I like science, but more of a "pop science" kind of way. There are people in my classes that actually go out and actively research current science stuff...I don't. Why? Cause I. Don't. Care. After 3+ years I've finally realized I picked my major for a whole lote of bad reasons.
Which leaves me with the question, What Now? I have no idea. I have no idea what I want to major in. I have no idea what I want to DO. at all. Its kinda freaking me out. I don't like the feeling of having no direction. I'm definitely lost right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm leaving out tons but enh.
And now I've caught a cold. At least I'm on my way to chicago in a few hours! Spring break my ass. Its still effing winter! Anyways, Jei if you read this, I'm leaving your X-mas pressie with elaine, so when you have spring break get it from her. Elaine, if you're reading this, I'm leaving Jei's X-mas pressie with you so you can give it to her during her spring break. ^^
much love peeps I'm out.
long rant that I couldn't create a cut for cause I don't know how-starts here.
Basically I never REALLY wanted to be a physicist. Part of the reason I chose physics was because I wasn't sure what else to major in. I didn't want to go into college with no direction so I somewhat randomly picked physics. Not to mention the fact that one of mymain goals in life is to earn a good enough income so that I am able to take care of my mom and my sister. With a career in physics I thought I could do that. I also knew that I had above average skill in math and science. So, why not?
I have to admit though there are other reasons as well. I've always been irked my my own abilities. Its kind of hard to explain properly. I'm not saying this with any degree of vanity or of being fullof myself, whatever you may call it. I think that I tend to be above average in basically any subject I study. I suppose thats why they call it "gifted" (I still think thats a really lame word...gives me the shivers...). This would seem to be okay, but the fact is I'm not REALLY spectacular at anything. I don't have any subject that I am undoubtedly the best in. I mean take Jei for example. She's got to be the singularly best writer I've ever met, dammit. Elaine....she's got her own brand of spectacular ^^. She has such a passion for the things she does that she could never go wrong. I thnk Vince has the whole art-thing going for him. Me? nothing. When people think Stephanie what to they think? Science? maybe, but only cause I've promoted that side of my interests. The truth is I'm just as good at science as I am anything else. Its frustrating. I feel like there is nothing that stands out about me. There is nothing that I am solely focused on or passionate about. (well except maybe fashion, but lets not go there)
So I think maybe part of my decision to major in physics was because no one else I knew was doing it and I guess that gave me some domain. Something no one else had. I dunno.
Anyways I guess I realized that I've been putting in a whole lot of effort towards a subject I don't really care about all that much. Yeah I like science, but more of a "pop science" kind of way. There are people in my classes that actually go out and actively research current science stuff...I don't. Why? Cause I. Don't. Care. After 3+ years I've finally realized I picked my major for a whole lote of bad reasons.
Which leaves me with the question, What Now? I have no idea. I have no idea what I want to major in. I have no idea what I want to DO. at all. Its kinda freaking me out. I don't like the feeling of having no direction. I'm definitely lost right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm leaving out tons but enh.
And now I've caught a cold. At least I'm on my way to chicago in a few hours! Spring break my ass. Its still effing winter! Anyways, Jei if you read this, I'm leaving your X-mas pressie with elaine, so when you have spring break get it from her. Elaine, if you're reading this, I'm leaving Jei's X-mas pressie with you so you can give it to her during her spring break. ^^
much love peeps I'm out.