Girls Can Play Football Too
Title: Girls Can Play Football Too
Author: snuffybaby
Disclaimer: RM and Co. own the Glee Universe
Rating: PG
Pairing: Puckleberry
Word Count: 6,073
Spoilers: AU, set during 211
Summary: Set during 211 “The Sue Sylvester Bowl Shuffle”; based on some drabble prompts at puckrachel drabblememe. Rachel plays football.
Author’s Note: Getting back into writing... been awhile. Something fun after watching the super bowl episode... and thought I should post again.
Neimans:
the only way to break up the fight in the choir room isn't just dragging Puck out of there. They have to pull Rachel out after she tries to attack a football player defending Puck. Puck is damn proud of his girl.
Neimans:
"I can't believe you tried to attack Azimio like that Noah!"
"What the fuck, Berry? I saw you go after him too!"
"I meant with your guitar! His fat ugly face is NOT worth breaking your precious instrument."
Neimans:
(Rachel in uniform for first time)
"How do I look Noah?"
"Okay, I guess."
"Oh. Okay then."
"Just sayin, you'd look a lot hotter in my jersey. And nothing else."
--
“The girl with the Mohawk had a really nice voice.”
“Funny,” Puck said calmly, smile on his face. “Funny,” he repeated, before he lifted the guitar strap over his head, grabbed the neck of the instrument and proceeded to attempt to bash Azimio in the face with his guitar.
Luckily, Beiste and Schuester were able to step in between the two football players, but everyone was out of their seats and on the attack.
Sam had managed to grab Rachel around the waist to keep her out of the fray, but she was kicking and screaming like a banshee. He lost his grip on her and she launched herself at the nearest jock. He watched in dismay as she elbowed Azimio in the groin, and using her momentum, slammed her shoulder into Karofsky, winding him.
Puck, whose killer gaze was on Azimio, saw the black center go down. He spotted the attacker responsible. He looked at Sam in shock, with a ‘I thought you had her, dude’ expression.
“Rachel!” Schue called out in horror.
At the tone of his voice, everyone stopped. They looked around expecting to see the tiny diva injured. They didn’t expect to see her whaling on the fallen football players. They stared at her in surprise, shock, fear.
As quickly as he could, Puck set down his guitar and managed to grab hold of Rachel and back her away from her victims.
“Let me go,” she wiggled in his grip. “Let me at them.”
“Relax, killer. You got them.” He smirked down at the two groaning boys. “They won’t be able to get up any time soon.”
Rachel blew an exasperated breath. “Well… good.”
Mercedes looked down at the huge football players, then whispered to Tina. “Remind me never to fight with Rachel over a solo again.”
Asian nodded in agreement; her eyes still wide in shock.
“Dudes, you got taken down by a girl half your size.” Artie looked down at Azimio and Karofsky.
Mike punched Sam in the arm. “Good job holding her back.”
“She’s squirmy,” he defended. “You try holding her back next time.”
Finn just kept looking back and forth between his downed teammates and Rachel and Puck.
With a sigh and a shake of her head, Beiste pointed at a group of football players. “You. Get these two idiots to the nurse’s office.”
“Rachel,” Schue said softly, “please join me in the principal’s office.”
Gathering herself, she blew her bangs out of her eyes. She smoothed her skirt down and nodded, “Of course, Mr. Schuester.”
Arm still containing Rachel, Puck looked at Schue. “You sure it’s safe to let her go?” His eyes looked pointed at the still retreating football players.
Rachel crossed her arms in a huff. “I assure you. I’ve regained control of my violent tendencies. It is perfectly safe to release me.”
Still, Schue decided to err on the side of caution. He glanced at Shannon, “I think we’ll wait until you give us the all clear.”
Beiste nodded, a small smirk on her lips at the entire situation. “I’ll join you in Figgins’s office as soon as I get these punks settled.” She peeked out of the choir room and saw that the jocks were almost at the end of the hall. “Coast is clear.”
“Good luck, killer.” Puck relaxed his hold and gave her a pat on the butt as she walked passed him.
She scowled at him, but didn’t have time to retort.
“Come on, Rachel.” Schuester ushered her out the door in front of him.
“What the hell just happened?” Finn looked at the glee club for answers.
Brittany shrugged. “Rachel defended Puck.”
Puck rolled his eyes. “She defended glee club,” he corrected.
“She whooped ass doing it,” Lauren chuckled.
Santana retook her seat and pulled out a nail file. “What dwarf did was earn a suspension.”
“Two weeks at least,” Quinn agreed. “She should’ve stayed out of it.”
“You didn’t,” Sam commented.
“Difference,” Santana remarked, “no jock is idiot enough to touch this,” she gestured to her figure, “without my permission.”
“Difference,” he mimicked mockingly, “Rachel incapacitated two jocks more than twice her size. How effective were you?”
Quinn frowned at her boyfriend. “Why did you try to stop Rachel and not anyone else then?”
Sam glanced wearily at Puck and Mike, hesitant to answer.
Puck smirked, “Berry’s black dad is a krav maga expert. He teaches part time at the Y.”
Finn winced in remembrance at the one lesson he took in order to ‘get to know’ Rachel’s daddy. “Daddy Berry is crazy scary.”
“I took some self defense classes with Rachel’s white dad,” Mike added. “Dad Berry looks like a pencil pusher, but he’s dangerous.”
Finn nodded. “Dad Berry started learning when he found out Rachel was a girl. Had to learn to protect his daughter.”
“Dad Berry is brutal,” Puck agreed. “Maximum damage with the minimum amount of force.”
“So they taught Rachel?” Mercedes quirked an eyebrow.
“Rachel was trained to be a killing machine,” Puck said proudly.
“Sucks that she’s a pacifist,” Other Asian commented.
--
Rachel sat primly in front of Principal Figgins. She was the picture of calm and composed, until he asked-
“Miss. Berry, could you please explain what occurred in the choir room?”
-and she burst into tears and started blubbering. She managed through gasps to say that she and Noah were just practicing their performance, when one of the football players made a crude remark. Before she knew it, everyone was on their feet and fighting. She didn’t know what to do, but she didn’t mean to hurt those two larger boys. It was an accident.
Beiste and Schuester stared at her in shock.
Figgins looked uncomfortable to be faced with a crying teen. He handed her a tissue. “You poor child.” He looked at the two adults and scolded them. “This is not an appropriate environment to be nurturing and cultivating talent. Coach Beiste, you had better get those football players under control or I’ll be dealing with them. Mr. Karofsky and Mr. Adams already have extremely colorful permanent records. They’ve both been given enough chances. If they don’t straighten out, I’ll be forced to expel the both of them. Championship game or no championship game.” He turned back to Rachel, “Now, Miss. Berry, after your ordeal, would you like to call your parents? You’re excused for the rest of the day.”
She sniffled and shook her head. “Oh, no, Principal Figgins. I wouldn’t want to fall behind in my classes. And thanks to my lovely peers - Sam and Noah, I was shielded from most of the violence.”
“Of course, Miss. Berry. I’m glad to hear that Mr. Puckerman is doing so well after his experience in Juvie. Go ahead and get a hall pass from the secretary.”
“Thank you so much, Principal Figgins.” She gave him a watery smile and excused herself.
“Coach Beiste, Mr. Schuester, thank you for bringing this to my attention.” Figgins dismissed them without another word.
Beiste and Schuester gave each other a look, wondering what the hell just happened.
--
Puck stood with half of Glee, waiting down the hall from the principal’s office for Rachel to be released. An eyebrow lifted when he saw the tearstains down her cheeks. “You okay?”
“Of course,” she said, dabbing at her face.
“Suspension?” Mercedes asked mournfully.
“Of course not,” she said scandalized at the thought.
“Detention?” Finn said in confusion.
“I’ve got better things to do with my time.”
“So what was your punishment?” Quinn smirked, thinking that it must be extremely horrendous.
Rachel looked at them imperiously. “What actions would I be punished for?”
Puck burst out laughing, wrapping an arm around her. “You totally played Figgins, didn’t you?”
“I told him the truth,” she said indignantly.
“Bawling like a baby, playing on the fact that you’re a teeny tiny midget; and there’s no way that you gave Karofsky and Adams a beat down on purpose.” He squeezed her tight. “I’m so proud of my little killer.”
“Stop calling me that… and I’m not little. I’m petite.”
“You’re pocket-sized.”
“Which reminds me,” she suddenly turned on him. “I can't believe you tried to attack Azimio like that, Noah!”
“What the fuck, Berry? You took him down!”
“I meant with your guitar! His fat ugly face is NOT worth breaking your precious instrument.”
Puck rolled his eyes. “Babe, it’s not like I was really gonna hit him. Not with my baby at least. Boy would have wussed out if Schue and Coach hadn’t gotten in the way.”
“You don’t know that. And need I remind you that you’re still on probation.”
“Hey, I’ve only got a couple hours left in my community service.”
She glared up at him. “Wait until my daddy hears about this.”
Cold fear crept down his spine. “You wouldn’t.”
“That’s cold, Rach,” Mike added; Finn nodding in agreement beside him.
She harrumphed, before pivoting on her heel and flouncing away. “I’ll think about it.”
They watched her go.
“That is a whole new side of Rachel that I’ve never seen before,” Finn commented.
“The batshit scary crazy side?” Mike nodded, hugging Tina close for comfort. “Behind the cute innocence lies the face of evil.”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “You guys are dweebs.”
Mercedes shook her head. “I don’t know, Q. She basically got off scot free for maiming two of the football players. There’s got to be an evil genius behind that.”
“My girl’s growing up,” Puck smirked. “McKinley douches better watch out.”
Finn frowned, “Your girl?”
--
The New Directions-Titan mash up was doing well, up until the hockey team slushied the Titans. Fearing their loss in popularity, the Titans quit Glee and were off the football team.
On another front, Sue had the cheerleading Regional competition moved to the same night as the football championship forcing Quinn, Brittany and Santana to quit Glee club.
Rachel and Mercedes were at a loss. The glee guys were even more disappointed than before. The girls wanted to find a way for them to compete in their football game. It was during a meet for coffee with Blaine and Kurt that gave the girls the idea.
The next day in Glee club, Coach Beiste announced that they wouldn’t be able to compete.
Sam asked, “Why can’t we just let them back on the team just for this game?”
“No,” Beiste said adamantly. “We carry this thing through… even if it means having to forfeit the game.”
“I can’t believe this is it,” Finn said in disappointment.
Rachel shared a glance with Mercedes. “Maybe it isn’t.” She stepped down off the riser to stand front and center. “We want to join the team.”
The guys all looked around in confusion.
“We who?”
Mercedes stepped down beside Rachel. “All of us Glee girls. We want to join the football team and we want to play in the championship.”
Tina smiled as stopped beside Mercedes.
“Come on, guys,” Mike frowned. “Stop screwing around. It’s not cool.”
“What’s not cool is you guys not respecting women enough to realize we’re perfectly capable of playing football.” Lauren stood and joined the girls in the front. “And don’t forget who the state champ Greco-Roman wrestling is. I’ve got offers from three different professional wrestling organizations for after I graduate.” She shared a high-five with Rachel.
“Rachel,” Schuester interrupted, “have you actually seen a tackle football game. When they tackle you, it hurts.”
“Yeah,” Puck frowned, “and not in the good Mellencamp way.”
“We’ve thought about that, but the truth is you guys don’t really need us to play. You just need enough players out there to field a regulation team. So when they snap the ball,” she mimicked the motion, “we’re just going to lie down on the ground.” She swept her hands out, gesturing to the floor. “We’re just going to lie there.”
“I’m not.” Lauren growled, “I’m gonna bring the pain.”
“I guess they won’t get hurt,” Beiste glanced at the girls, “if you stay down.”
“What do your parents have to say about this?”
“We all have signed permission slips from them.” Tina handed the forms to Schue. “It took some convincing, but they understood what it means to all of us.”
Schue perused the sheets before handing them to Shannon. “What do you think, Coach?”
The guys sat up straighter, eager to hear her reply.
“I think…” she studied the papers and then her team, before she glanced at the girls with a broad smile, “welcome to the football team.”
“Yes!”
“Football team.” Rachel clapped in excitement as everyone came up on their feet in celebration. “Football team. High-five teammates,” she said with giddy delight.
---
The night of the game, the girls were in their locker room getting ready. Puck snuck in and cornered Rachel.
“What are you doing in here?” Rachel almost shouted. She was in the middle of French braiding her hair, when he popped up in the mirror beside her. “This is the girls’ locker room.”
“Are you sure you want to do this? You know you’re going to get dirt on those pristine white pants of yours,” he teased, knowing how adverse to dirt she was. Sobering, Puck took the loose half of her hair and began plaiting her hair to match the one completed braid. “You could easily get hurt. All of you could.”
“Noah, we already talked about this. This championship game means a lot to you guys. The girls weren’t just going to stand by and do nothing.” She smiled at him. “Besides, I trust you guys to make sure we don’t get hurt.”
“It’s going to be nine on eleven. Five members on our team won’t be very useful when it comes to blocking.”
“Noah, are you worried you’re not badass enough to protect me?” she goaded.
He tugged the braid he completed. “You’re questioning my badassness?”
She snapped an elastic around the end. Turning and smiling at him, she said with grave seriousness, “I wouldn’t dare.”
“Watch yourself, Berry.” He gave her a pat on the ass, full Puckerman smirk on his lips.
“Go get ready,” she shoved at his chest.
“Don’t keep me waiting.” Puck backed out of the locker room.
Mercedes and Tina peeked around the lockers.
“Girl, is there something you’re not telling us?”
“What do you mean?”
Tina smiled, “Any Puckleberry action we should be made aware of?”
“We’re friends… and I’m in love with Finn, remember.”
Mercedes smirked, “You think you’re in love with Finn.”
The Goth examined Puck’s handy work. “He knows how to French braid?”
Rachel tugged the shoulder pads over her head and then her jersey. “He’s got a younger sister.”
Mercedes and Tina shared a look. “There’s something more going on there.”
--
Finn was stretching when he saw the jocks dressed in street clothes approach. “It’s not too late.”
Karofsky scoffed, “To commit social suicide? How the hell are you going to play with five guys, huh?”
Finn looked up and smiled when he spotted the girls walk out from the change rooms. They walked out confidently, strutting their stuff in their football gear. His smile widened when he spotted the number one emblazoned across Rachel’s chest and the gold stars that she’d stuck to her helmet.
Karofsky followed his gaze, his mouth falling open in disbelief. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“What the hell are they doing?” Azimio couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“What you don’t have the balls to do.” Finn ran over to join his new teammates.
The Glee kids cheered in celebration and excitement.
Puck walked up to Rachel and grabbed the grill of her helmet. “You ready for this?”
She pulled her guard out of her mouth and shouted with vigor, “Let’s kick some ass!”
---
They were down 17-0 with three minutes left on the clock for the second quarter. Rachel stared up at the scoreboard and realized, like all the others, that their plan wasn’t really working.
They huddled in preparation for the next play. Finn glanced around at his team, “Alright, how’s everyone doing?”
“Kill me now,” Mercedes puffed, “I wanna die.”
“Is anyone else getting tired of lying down all the time?” Tina complained, “I wanna play.”
“Just…” Finn didn’t want to have to worry about her getting injured, “don’t get ahead of yourself. Ready? Play!”
Rachel shared a glance with Tina after the break; message shared and agreed upon.
The team took their positions at the line.
As soon as the play began, Finn had been sacked, the ball landed on the ground and was bounced in front of Rachel.
“Pick up the ball!” Beiste yelled from the sideline.
Seizing the opportunity, the brunette grabbed the ball. “Tina!” she called before she took off running toward the end.
Up in the stands, Burt was up on his feet cheering, “Go! Run, girl!”
Standing too in the excitement, Kurt brought his hands up to cover his face in horror, but he couldn’t help peeking through his fingers. “Oh, dear.”
Tina followed a safe distance behind Rachel, calling out moves, so that Rachel could dodge anyone that was coming up behind her.
Sam cleared the path in front of Rachel, while Mike and Puck managed to keep the brunette from being flanked.
Beiste screamed from the sidelines to “Go, go, go!”
For someone with such short legs, the girl could move. With only one goal in mind, Rachel ran towards the end zone. It was tantalizingly close when an opposing player got around Sam and dove for her legs. He landed in her path, tripping her. She flew forwards, grip tight on the ball as she tucked and rolled over into the end zone.
The bleachers roared in excitement at the touchdown.
Silence fell when number one didn’t stand. She was laid out on the ground unmoving.
“Oh, dear,” Kurt repeated, wringing his hands.
Tina and Puck slid to the ground beside her. “Rachel?”
“Is she okay?” Sam dropped to a knee by her other side.
“Rachel?” Puck could tell she was breathing, but she had landed hard.
“I’m fine, Noah,” she finally voiced. “I’m just basking.”
“Shit, Rach. You scared the hell out of us.” He leaned back against his feet.
She opened her eyes. “Just trying to psych out our opponent. The gall of that boy to trip a girl.” She smiled widely at him. “I scored a goal!”
“Hell, yeah, you did!” He helped her to her feet and tossed her up into the air by her waist in celebration.
The crowd went wild.
--
Tina completed the kick to gain the extra point. The team regrouped for a huddle. Finn named Sam QB for the rest of the half and went in search of some missing cheerleaders; and asked Puck to convince the rest of the Titans to rejoin the team.
As Sam looked at the team, he glanced at Puck before looking at Tina and Rachel, “How are you girls at catching a ball?”
“Before we move on to that, perhaps it would be useful to explain what is a legal tackle,” Rachel remarked.
Puck blinked at her. “You’re not serious.”
“You’ve got about ten seconds to explain.”
When the huddle broke, Sam glanced nervously up at Beiste.
Coach was not reassured by that look. “What are you kids planning?”
Rachel fake hobbled over to the line and slowly crouched in front of the player that had tripped her. “Mr. Football, aren’t you proud that you took down an eighty pound girl?” she taunted.
He had the grace to look down in shame.
Distraction long enough for the ball to go into play. Rachel and Tina shot to their feet as they went running after one of the tight ends on the other team; while Puck went after the other. The two girls were small, but they were fast.
“Holy smokes, those girls can run,” Burt stood to his feet.
Carole winced in concern. “But they’re so small.”
“I can’t watch this.” Kurt once again had his face covered.
Blaine on the other hand couldn’t help but watch. His mouth feel open in disbelief, as he watched the petite brunette take a flying dive at the tight end.
Further down the stands, Karofsky was rubbing his chest in memory.
“Shit,” Azimio said in disbelief, “she just body slammed him.”
Tina intercepted the ball that had been sailing in their direction, fumbling a bit with the catch. With some difficulty, she managed to reroute toward the other end zone. In her mad dash, she stumbled a bit as she tried to dodge. Mike and Sam cleared her path, tackling their opponents, but one managed to slip their net.
Luckily, number 79, Lauren Zizes appeared from out of nowhere and slammed the remaining obstacle out of Tina’s way.
“They just intercepted a pass and managed a touchdown.” Blaine shared high-fives and wide grins of elated surprise with Burt and Carole.
Puck jogged over to Rachel. “You good?”
“Of course not,” she stared woefully down at the grass stain on her pants. “These stains will never come out.”
He laughed. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle the dirt.”
She nudged him with her shoulder. “Shut up.”
“But seriously, you good? You didn’t hurt anything when you rammed that guy?”
She looked over her shoulder at the player she’d tackled. “I’m pretty sure he’s still feeling it. It’s all about where you hit, that’s what Dad taught me.”
“And you say you’re not a killer.” He gave her another pat on the ass. “Come on. This half’s almost done and you need time to change into your zombie costume.”
--
Puck found the rest of his former teammates in the locker room.
Karofsky spotted him first and sneered, “Looking good out there, Puck.”
“You know what? I don't want to hear it, Karofsky. I don't want to hear it from any of you. You're all a bunch of cowards. Coward losers.”
“Yeah, you're the only loser losing this game.”
“Dude, we managed two touchdowns in three minutes when the girls decided that they wanted to do more than just lie there out of the way. You really think we still need you?” Puck smirked condescendingly. “You know, this is it,” he said seriously. “This is the moment of our lives. This is the one we can actually look back and tell our children about. This is our moment to actually win something, and you guys are sitting in the damn stands! I mean, you're so afraid of being called geeks or losers or gay, that you settle for being nothing.” He gave them all a steady glare. “Well, we still have a whole half to play. And we can win this, guys.”
Azimio was caving. “What's the point, man? Beiste isn't going to let us play.”
“She will if you come out and perform at the halftime show.” Puck nodded when his team mates all agreed to join in… except for Karofsky. He hustled their asses and get some make up on.
--
Anthony stood beside Puck while they put on their zombie make up. “Is Rachel some kind of ninja assassin or something?”
Puck glared at him, before snorting and chuckling.
“I mean, someone so… tiny… shouldn’t be able to do that kind of stuff.”
“Berry’s a freaking ballet dancer.”
“They teach you to tackle in ballet?” Anthony said in confusion.
Puck shook his head, smirk in place as he left to grab his zombie uniform.
--
The halftime show kicked ass; and the Titans took the field in their zombie uniforms for the second half of the game.
Puck stopped beside Rachel. “You sure you don’t want to take the field for the second half?” he teased.
“Noah, I assure you that I’ve had my share of violence for the evening,” she said primly. “And I’m not putting those dirty football pants back on.” She waved the pompoms in her hand. “Besides, since I’ve already been a football player, I figured I’d try to be a cheerleader now.”
“Puck!” Finn called, “Let’s go. We’ve got a game to win.”
Rachel did something completely out of character. She slapped Puck’s ass. “Go win me a game!”
He looked at her in shock. “Did you just slap my ass?”
“Go!” she ordered.
--
At the end of the last quarter, everyone was on their feet as Puck caught the pass and scored a final touchdown just before the buzzer. The Titans rushed the field in celebration.
They’d won the state championship.
Mike and Puck rushed the sidelines and grabbed their female team mates. Lauren and Mercedes ran on to the field to share high-fives and hugs with the rest of the glee jocks, while Mike and Puck picked up Tina and Rachel, lifting them on to their backs.
Firm grip on her thighs, Puck piggy-backed Rachel out on to the field to cheer with the rest of the team. “Killer, we did it!”
“Congratulations,” she kissed the side of his head.
“We couldn’t have done it without you.” He twirled them around the field, cheering and shouting, until she squealed in delight, “Daddy! Dad!” He stopped mid twirl to see the approaching Berrys. He set her back down on her feet, so she could leap into her dads’ embraces.
“You made it!”
Karofsky and Azimio stopped in their celebration to catch sight of Berry’s dads.
“Shit, that’s her dad,” Azimio looked up at the towering black man.
“Her dads,” Dave corrected, nodding toward the other man.
“They don’t look gay.”
“Don’t be an idiot, dude.”
“Star, of course we made it,” Daddy Berry (AKA James) replied.
“When you said you joined the boys football team, we wanted to cheer you on,” Dad Berry (AKA Ethan) added.
“We were of course a little confused by the lying down during the first two quarters.”
Rachel blushed. “Well, I did explain that the girls joined mainly so that the boys were still eligible to compete. The girls didn’t think we should get in the way.”
“Well,” James smiled, “it’s a good thing you did, otherwise these boys would have lost quite badly.”
Ethan ran his hands down her arms. “I was a little worried after that little tumble you took, but you seem to be in one piece.”
“Dad, I was fine. You know I love to tumble. I just thought it would be more dramatic to stay down for a bit.”
James hugged her. “Always the little drama queen.”
Ethan eyed the boys scattered across the field watching them, as James and Rachel caught up. “Diva, how are things going between you and that Hudson boy?”
“Dad,” she pouted, “stop being so nosy.”
“I’m your father, I’m allowed to be nosy. Especially when it comes to boys.” He suddenly pointed a finger at a certain boy. He’d recognize that Mohawk anywhere, even with all the zombie makeup. “Mr. Puckerman, come here please.”
“S’up?” Noah greeted the shorter of the Misters Berry.
“Diva isn’t usually this tightlipped about her boyfriends. What can you tell me about her and Hudson?”
“Dad!” She stomped and turned to her daddy. “He’s embarrassing me.”
“Don’t worry, Star. Your little friends are too busy celebrating to pay attention to us.”
Puck shrugged and answered candidly, “Hudson dumped Berry, because she made out with me.”
“Noah!”
“Diva!”
James’s eyes narrowed and scanned the crowd for number five. “Hudson!” he ordered with his deep voice, “Front and center.”
Finn was almost too afraid to move, but he scrambled to stand as straight as possible in front of the taller man.
Burt and Carole, Kurt and Blaine finally joined them on the field. Burt glanced at his stepson, “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Finn said quickly, “why don’t you, mom and the guys go celebrate with the rest of the team? Dr. Berry just wanted to talk to me.”
Burt grinned and introduced him to the taller man. “Burt Hummel. It’s nice to meet you. You raised one hell of a girl.”
James smiled and shook the man’s hand good-naturedly. “Kurt’s father? It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Hi, Dr. Berry,” Kurt waved. “This is my stepmom, Carole. And this is Blaine.”
“My husband, Ethan.”
Burt smiled. “No wonder Rachel’s such a natural at football. Having two dads must mean a lot of sports in the house.”
“True enough,” Ethan agreed. “James and I wanted to enroll her in peewee sports as a child. But, alas, Rachel has a mind of her own and preferred ballet and singing. She only indulged us by taking krav maga and self defense classes with us. Unusual choice for our little pacifist, but she excelled at both.”
While her dads were distracted with chitchat, she hissed to Finn, “Run.”
He frowned in confusion.
“Go,” she waved, “shoo.”
Kurt eyed her curiously, “What are you doing?”
“Trying to protect Finn from my daddy. Noah told him that Finn broke up with me.”
His eyes widened in surprise.
Blaine watched as they tried to discretely hustle Finn away.
Kurt leaned towards him and explained, “Dr. Berry is an expert in krav maga. Mr. Berry teaches self defense at the Y; he learned specifically so that he could deal with any boy that would dare hurt their little girl. They’ll break Finn.”
Suddenly, they were interrupted by Burt smiling at Rachel, “We haven’t seen you come by lately. Too busy with Glee club?”
She flushed, looking between her parents and Finn’s, and Noah and Finn. “Uh, we broke up.”
“What?” Carole said in surprise, looking at her son. “What happened?”
Burt patted her hand, cajoling. “Let the kids deal with their own drama. I’m sure they don’t want us old folks butting in.”
“But-” she looked longingly at Rachel.
“Besides, Finn would be an idiot to let Rachel go for too long. She’s a peach.” Burt chucked Finn’s shoulder. “I’m sure whatever it was can be worked out.”
Finn gulped, looking between his parents (his mom loved Rachel) and hers (Daddy Berry looked ready to tear him apart). “Right, sure.”
Rachel grabbed her dads’ hands. “Come on, Dad, Daddy. We don’t want to take up too much of the Hummels’ time. We should let them join the celebration. Besides, I’d like to head home now, so I can wash this zombie make up off; and whatever dirt from the game.”
Burt waved to them. “I’ll get your number from Kurt. We should get together to watch the game sometime.”
“Great,” Ethan smiled. “See you later. It was nice to finally meet you both.”
“Bye Kurt, Blaine. Thanks for coming to cheer us on. Finn, Noah.” Rachel waved quickly and then ushered her parents away. Once they were out of earshot, she scowled at her fathers. “I wish you wouldn’t go around intimidating my friends.”
“It’s my right as a concerned parent to intimidate that boy.” James scowled at some of the other football players he had noticed. “Perhaps even a few other Titans as well.”
Ethan wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Diva, it seems like we have some catching up to do.”
“I agree,” James looked at his daughter. “Why don’t you start with your relations with the Puckerman boy?”
--
“So?” Noah joined Rachel at her locker the next day. “Do I need to change my name and go on the lam?”
She scowled at him. “Serves you right for telling my fathers like that.” She placed her things in her locker.
“Rach, come on, spill.”
Rachel sighed. “Suffice to say, they are not pleased with Finn. I’m ninety percent sure that if they see him, they’ll severely incapacitate him. You may want to warn him to stay away from the Y.”
His brow rose. “And me?”
“Daddy wanted me to remind you to bring your community service form for him to sign.”
“Is he going to use me as a demo-dummy next class?”
“Daddy and Dad are perfectly fine with you.”
He smirked. “Of course they are.”
Grabbing her books for class, she shut her locker and turned to face him; a smirk of her own gracing her lips. “You were worried.”
“Shit, lady, of course I was. Daddy Berry can break me with a single finger.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t exaggerate, Noah.”
“He’s intimidating. Have you noticed that everyone’s looking at you in awe today?”
“I have. It’s moderately irritating.” She pouted, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to deal with fame, if only a small crowd of gawkers is annoying me to no end.”
“Babe, that’s what bodyguards are for.” He offered her his arm and began to escort her to class. “Mike and I think we should make you our new good luck charm.”
“I haven’t had much luck in anything lately.”
“You won a championship football game. That’s got to count for something.”
“The team did quite well without Tina and me.”
“Whatever. Point is, Beiste named you and Tina MVPs for the game. Meet in the choir room for the party at lunch.” Puck dropped her off in front of her class. He gave her a pat on the ass and then sauntered away.
--
Puck stepped out of his classroom to find Rachel standing there waiting on him. He stopped in front of her and quirked an eyebrow.
“I allowed it before in the spirit of teamwork and camaraderie, but I would appreciate it if you would stop grabbing my butt,” she glared up at him.
He smirked. “I’m not grabbing your ass, Berry. Football players don’t grab each others’ asses.”
“Whatever. The point is, I want you to stop.”
“There’s a big difference.” He proceeded to slap her ass again. “That’s a friendly pat.” The same hand smoothes over her pert ass and cups it, giving it a gentle squeeze. “That’s a grab.”
She squeaked and her face went red. “Regardless. I would prefer that you keep your hands away from my behind.”
His hand still on said behind, he pulled her against him. “Are you sure about that?”
Flustered, she said honestly, “Perhaps not.” She pushed gently away from him. “But until I’m absolutely sure, it would be best to keep your hands to yourself.”
“Whatever you say, Berry.” With a cocky grin, he slowly stepped back, tucking his hands in his pockets. “I’ll see you at lunch, Berry.”
--
Rachel and Tina entered the choir room together to be showered by confetti and deafened by cheers, applause and kazoos from Glee Club.
“Congratulations!” Schuester clapped enthusiastically. “I’m so proud of the two of you.”
As quarterback, Finn presented them with a plaque. Their names were engraved on the little brass shield, joining the rest of the previous MVPs for the Titans.
Mike and Puck handed them each a bouquet of roses and then hugged them tightly.
“So proud of my killer.” Puck’s arms engulfed her. “Badass.”
Mike kissed his girlfriend and then quickly stepped back to let the rest of the team offer congratulations.
“Hold up,” Beiste called. “There’s one more thing.” She pulled out jerseys with ‘BERRY’ and ‘COHEN-CHANG’ printed across the back.
The girls squealed in delight as they pulled their jerseys over their heads.
“I’m still surprised you were able to order jerseys in their size,” Will remarked to Shannon as they watched the celebrations.
“Didn’t. The home ec class altered the regular jerseys down for the girls.”
Tina and Rachel struck poses in their new jerseys - although the combination of bright red sports jersey didn’t quite match the black Goth skirt and stockings of one; nor the pleated plaid skirt and matching leggings of the other. Giggling though, they continued to snap pictures.
Rachel leaned back against number twenty, who had muscled his way over for a picture. "How do I look Noah?"
He shrugged, his best gruff stare in place for the photo. "Okay, I guess."
"Oh,” she pouted. “Okay then."
A sexy grin spread across his lips. "Just sayin’, you'd look a lot hotter in my jersey. And nothing else." His hands reached up to cup her face. “Congratulations, Berry,” he said softly before placing an equally soft kiss on her lips.
She sighed, “Noah.”
“You want to go out with me on Friday?”
“My fathers are going to grill you.”
“Bring it.”
“Come by at seven?”
He kissed her again to seal the deal. “That mean your ass is no longer off limits?”
--
The End
Author: snuffybaby
Disclaimer: RM and Co. own the Glee Universe
Rating: PG
Pairing: Puckleberry
Word Count: 6,073
Spoilers: AU, set during 211
Summary: Set during 211 “The Sue Sylvester Bowl Shuffle”; based on some drabble prompts at puckrachel drabblememe. Rachel plays football.
Author’s Note: Getting back into writing... been awhile. Something fun after watching the super bowl episode... and thought I should post again.
Neimans:
the only way to break up the fight in the choir room isn't just dragging Puck out of there. They have to pull Rachel out after she tries to attack a football player defending Puck. Puck is damn proud of his girl.
Neimans:
"I can't believe you tried to attack Azimio like that Noah!"
"What the fuck, Berry? I saw you go after him too!"
"I meant with your guitar! His fat ugly face is NOT worth breaking your precious instrument."
Neimans:
(Rachel in uniform for first time)
"How do I look Noah?"
"Okay, I guess."
"Oh. Okay then."
"Just sayin, you'd look a lot hotter in my jersey. And nothing else."
--
“The girl with the Mohawk had a really nice voice.”
“Funny,” Puck said calmly, smile on his face. “Funny,” he repeated, before he lifted the guitar strap over his head, grabbed the neck of the instrument and proceeded to attempt to bash Azimio in the face with his guitar.
Luckily, Beiste and Schuester were able to step in between the two football players, but everyone was out of their seats and on the attack.
Sam had managed to grab Rachel around the waist to keep her out of the fray, but she was kicking and screaming like a banshee. He lost his grip on her and she launched herself at the nearest jock. He watched in dismay as she elbowed Azimio in the groin, and using her momentum, slammed her shoulder into Karofsky, winding him.
Puck, whose killer gaze was on Azimio, saw the black center go down. He spotted the attacker responsible. He looked at Sam in shock, with a ‘I thought you had her, dude’ expression.
“Rachel!” Schue called out in horror.
At the tone of his voice, everyone stopped. They looked around expecting to see the tiny diva injured. They didn’t expect to see her whaling on the fallen football players. They stared at her in surprise, shock, fear.
As quickly as he could, Puck set down his guitar and managed to grab hold of Rachel and back her away from her victims.
“Let me go,” she wiggled in his grip. “Let me at them.”
“Relax, killer. You got them.” He smirked down at the two groaning boys. “They won’t be able to get up any time soon.”
Rachel blew an exasperated breath. “Well… good.”
Mercedes looked down at the huge football players, then whispered to Tina. “Remind me never to fight with Rachel over a solo again.”
Asian nodded in agreement; her eyes still wide in shock.
“Dudes, you got taken down by a girl half your size.” Artie looked down at Azimio and Karofsky.
Mike punched Sam in the arm. “Good job holding her back.”
“She’s squirmy,” he defended. “You try holding her back next time.”
Finn just kept looking back and forth between his downed teammates and Rachel and Puck.
With a sigh and a shake of her head, Beiste pointed at a group of football players. “You. Get these two idiots to the nurse’s office.”
“Rachel,” Schue said softly, “please join me in the principal’s office.”
Gathering herself, she blew her bangs out of her eyes. She smoothed her skirt down and nodded, “Of course, Mr. Schuester.”
Arm still containing Rachel, Puck looked at Schue. “You sure it’s safe to let her go?” His eyes looked pointed at the still retreating football players.
Rachel crossed her arms in a huff. “I assure you. I’ve regained control of my violent tendencies. It is perfectly safe to release me.”
Still, Schue decided to err on the side of caution. He glanced at Shannon, “I think we’ll wait until you give us the all clear.”
Beiste nodded, a small smirk on her lips at the entire situation. “I’ll join you in Figgins’s office as soon as I get these punks settled.” She peeked out of the choir room and saw that the jocks were almost at the end of the hall. “Coast is clear.”
“Good luck, killer.” Puck relaxed his hold and gave her a pat on the butt as she walked passed him.
She scowled at him, but didn’t have time to retort.
“Come on, Rachel.” Schuester ushered her out the door in front of him.
“What the hell just happened?” Finn looked at the glee club for answers.
Brittany shrugged. “Rachel defended Puck.”
Puck rolled his eyes. “She defended glee club,” he corrected.
“She whooped ass doing it,” Lauren chuckled.
Santana retook her seat and pulled out a nail file. “What dwarf did was earn a suspension.”
“Two weeks at least,” Quinn agreed. “She should’ve stayed out of it.”
“You didn’t,” Sam commented.
“Difference,” Santana remarked, “no jock is idiot enough to touch this,” she gestured to her figure, “without my permission.”
“Difference,” he mimicked mockingly, “Rachel incapacitated two jocks more than twice her size. How effective were you?”
Quinn frowned at her boyfriend. “Why did you try to stop Rachel and not anyone else then?”
Sam glanced wearily at Puck and Mike, hesitant to answer.
Puck smirked, “Berry’s black dad is a krav maga expert. He teaches part time at the Y.”
Finn winced in remembrance at the one lesson he took in order to ‘get to know’ Rachel’s daddy. “Daddy Berry is crazy scary.”
“I took some self defense classes with Rachel’s white dad,” Mike added. “Dad Berry looks like a pencil pusher, but he’s dangerous.”
Finn nodded. “Dad Berry started learning when he found out Rachel was a girl. Had to learn to protect his daughter.”
“Dad Berry is brutal,” Puck agreed. “Maximum damage with the minimum amount of force.”
“So they taught Rachel?” Mercedes quirked an eyebrow.
“Rachel was trained to be a killing machine,” Puck said proudly.
“Sucks that she’s a pacifist,” Other Asian commented.
--
Rachel sat primly in front of Principal Figgins. She was the picture of calm and composed, until he asked-
“Miss. Berry, could you please explain what occurred in the choir room?”
-and she burst into tears and started blubbering. She managed through gasps to say that she and Noah were just practicing their performance, when one of the football players made a crude remark. Before she knew it, everyone was on their feet and fighting. She didn’t know what to do, but she didn’t mean to hurt those two larger boys. It was an accident.
Beiste and Schuester stared at her in shock.
Figgins looked uncomfortable to be faced with a crying teen. He handed her a tissue. “You poor child.” He looked at the two adults and scolded them. “This is not an appropriate environment to be nurturing and cultivating talent. Coach Beiste, you had better get those football players under control or I’ll be dealing with them. Mr. Karofsky and Mr. Adams already have extremely colorful permanent records. They’ve both been given enough chances. If they don’t straighten out, I’ll be forced to expel the both of them. Championship game or no championship game.” He turned back to Rachel, “Now, Miss. Berry, after your ordeal, would you like to call your parents? You’re excused for the rest of the day.”
She sniffled and shook her head. “Oh, no, Principal Figgins. I wouldn’t want to fall behind in my classes. And thanks to my lovely peers - Sam and Noah, I was shielded from most of the violence.”
“Of course, Miss. Berry. I’m glad to hear that Mr. Puckerman is doing so well after his experience in Juvie. Go ahead and get a hall pass from the secretary.”
“Thank you so much, Principal Figgins.” She gave him a watery smile and excused herself.
“Coach Beiste, Mr. Schuester, thank you for bringing this to my attention.” Figgins dismissed them without another word.
Beiste and Schuester gave each other a look, wondering what the hell just happened.
--
Puck stood with half of Glee, waiting down the hall from the principal’s office for Rachel to be released. An eyebrow lifted when he saw the tearstains down her cheeks. “You okay?”
“Of course,” she said, dabbing at her face.
“Suspension?” Mercedes asked mournfully.
“Of course not,” she said scandalized at the thought.
“Detention?” Finn said in confusion.
“I’ve got better things to do with my time.”
“So what was your punishment?” Quinn smirked, thinking that it must be extremely horrendous.
Rachel looked at them imperiously. “What actions would I be punished for?”
Puck burst out laughing, wrapping an arm around her. “You totally played Figgins, didn’t you?”
“I told him the truth,” she said indignantly.
“Bawling like a baby, playing on the fact that you’re a teeny tiny midget; and there’s no way that you gave Karofsky and Adams a beat down on purpose.” He squeezed her tight. “I’m so proud of my little killer.”
“Stop calling me that… and I’m not little. I’m petite.”
“You’re pocket-sized.”
“Which reminds me,” she suddenly turned on him. “I can't believe you tried to attack Azimio like that, Noah!”
“What the fuck, Berry? You took him down!”
“I meant with your guitar! His fat ugly face is NOT worth breaking your precious instrument.”
Puck rolled his eyes. “Babe, it’s not like I was really gonna hit him. Not with my baby at least. Boy would have wussed out if Schue and Coach hadn’t gotten in the way.”
“You don’t know that. And need I remind you that you’re still on probation.”
“Hey, I’ve only got a couple hours left in my community service.”
She glared up at him. “Wait until my daddy hears about this.”
Cold fear crept down his spine. “You wouldn’t.”
“That’s cold, Rach,” Mike added; Finn nodding in agreement beside him.
She harrumphed, before pivoting on her heel and flouncing away. “I’ll think about it.”
They watched her go.
“That is a whole new side of Rachel that I’ve never seen before,” Finn commented.
“The batshit scary crazy side?” Mike nodded, hugging Tina close for comfort. “Behind the cute innocence lies the face of evil.”
Quinn rolled her eyes. “You guys are dweebs.”
Mercedes shook her head. “I don’t know, Q. She basically got off scot free for maiming two of the football players. There’s got to be an evil genius behind that.”
“My girl’s growing up,” Puck smirked. “McKinley douches better watch out.”
Finn frowned, “Your girl?”
--
The New Directions-Titan mash up was doing well, up until the hockey team slushied the Titans. Fearing their loss in popularity, the Titans quit Glee and were off the football team.
On another front, Sue had the cheerleading Regional competition moved to the same night as the football championship forcing Quinn, Brittany and Santana to quit Glee club.
Rachel and Mercedes were at a loss. The glee guys were even more disappointed than before. The girls wanted to find a way for them to compete in their football game. It was during a meet for coffee with Blaine and Kurt that gave the girls the idea.
The next day in Glee club, Coach Beiste announced that they wouldn’t be able to compete.
Sam asked, “Why can’t we just let them back on the team just for this game?”
“No,” Beiste said adamantly. “We carry this thing through… even if it means having to forfeit the game.”
“I can’t believe this is it,” Finn said in disappointment.
Rachel shared a glance with Mercedes. “Maybe it isn’t.” She stepped down off the riser to stand front and center. “We want to join the team.”
The guys all looked around in confusion.
“We who?”
Mercedes stepped down beside Rachel. “All of us Glee girls. We want to join the football team and we want to play in the championship.”
Tina smiled as stopped beside Mercedes.
“Come on, guys,” Mike frowned. “Stop screwing around. It’s not cool.”
“What’s not cool is you guys not respecting women enough to realize we’re perfectly capable of playing football.” Lauren stood and joined the girls in the front. “And don’t forget who the state champ Greco-Roman wrestling is. I’ve got offers from three different professional wrestling organizations for after I graduate.” She shared a high-five with Rachel.
“Rachel,” Schuester interrupted, “have you actually seen a tackle football game. When they tackle you, it hurts.”
“Yeah,” Puck frowned, “and not in the good Mellencamp way.”
“We’ve thought about that, but the truth is you guys don’t really need us to play. You just need enough players out there to field a regulation team. So when they snap the ball,” she mimicked the motion, “we’re just going to lie down on the ground.” She swept her hands out, gesturing to the floor. “We’re just going to lie there.”
“I’m not.” Lauren growled, “I’m gonna bring the pain.”
“I guess they won’t get hurt,” Beiste glanced at the girls, “if you stay down.”
“What do your parents have to say about this?”
“We all have signed permission slips from them.” Tina handed the forms to Schue. “It took some convincing, but they understood what it means to all of us.”
Schue perused the sheets before handing them to Shannon. “What do you think, Coach?”
The guys sat up straighter, eager to hear her reply.
“I think…” she studied the papers and then her team, before she glanced at the girls with a broad smile, “welcome to the football team.”
“Yes!”
“Football team.” Rachel clapped in excitement as everyone came up on their feet in celebration. “Football team. High-five teammates,” she said with giddy delight.
---
The night of the game, the girls were in their locker room getting ready. Puck snuck in and cornered Rachel.
“What are you doing in here?” Rachel almost shouted. She was in the middle of French braiding her hair, when he popped up in the mirror beside her. “This is the girls’ locker room.”
“Are you sure you want to do this? You know you’re going to get dirt on those pristine white pants of yours,” he teased, knowing how adverse to dirt she was. Sobering, Puck took the loose half of her hair and began plaiting her hair to match the one completed braid. “You could easily get hurt. All of you could.”
“Noah, we already talked about this. This championship game means a lot to you guys. The girls weren’t just going to stand by and do nothing.” She smiled at him. “Besides, I trust you guys to make sure we don’t get hurt.”
“It’s going to be nine on eleven. Five members on our team won’t be very useful when it comes to blocking.”
“Noah, are you worried you’re not badass enough to protect me?” she goaded.
He tugged the braid he completed. “You’re questioning my badassness?”
She snapped an elastic around the end. Turning and smiling at him, she said with grave seriousness, “I wouldn’t dare.”
“Watch yourself, Berry.” He gave her a pat on the ass, full Puckerman smirk on his lips.
“Go get ready,” she shoved at his chest.
“Don’t keep me waiting.” Puck backed out of the locker room.
Mercedes and Tina peeked around the lockers.
“Girl, is there something you’re not telling us?”
“What do you mean?”
Tina smiled, “Any Puckleberry action we should be made aware of?”
“We’re friends… and I’m in love with Finn, remember.”
Mercedes smirked, “You think you’re in love with Finn.”
The Goth examined Puck’s handy work. “He knows how to French braid?”
Rachel tugged the shoulder pads over her head and then her jersey. “He’s got a younger sister.”
Mercedes and Tina shared a look. “There’s something more going on there.”
--
Finn was stretching when he saw the jocks dressed in street clothes approach. “It’s not too late.”
Karofsky scoffed, “To commit social suicide? How the hell are you going to play with five guys, huh?”
Finn looked up and smiled when he spotted the girls walk out from the change rooms. They walked out confidently, strutting their stuff in their football gear. His smile widened when he spotted the number one emblazoned across Rachel’s chest and the gold stars that she’d stuck to her helmet.
Karofsky followed his gaze, his mouth falling open in disbelief. “You have got to be kidding me.”
“What the hell are they doing?” Azimio couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“What you don’t have the balls to do.” Finn ran over to join his new teammates.
The Glee kids cheered in celebration and excitement.
Puck walked up to Rachel and grabbed the grill of her helmet. “You ready for this?”
She pulled her guard out of her mouth and shouted with vigor, “Let’s kick some ass!”
---
They were down 17-0 with three minutes left on the clock for the second quarter. Rachel stared up at the scoreboard and realized, like all the others, that their plan wasn’t really working.
They huddled in preparation for the next play. Finn glanced around at his team, “Alright, how’s everyone doing?”
“Kill me now,” Mercedes puffed, “I wanna die.”
“Is anyone else getting tired of lying down all the time?” Tina complained, “I wanna play.”
“Just…” Finn didn’t want to have to worry about her getting injured, “don’t get ahead of yourself. Ready? Play!”
Rachel shared a glance with Tina after the break; message shared and agreed upon.
The team took their positions at the line.
As soon as the play began, Finn had been sacked, the ball landed on the ground and was bounced in front of Rachel.
“Pick up the ball!” Beiste yelled from the sideline.
Seizing the opportunity, the brunette grabbed the ball. “Tina!” she called before she took off running toward the end.
Up in the stands, Burt was up on his feet cheering, “Go! Run, girl!”
Standing too in the excitement, Kurt brought his hands up to cover his face in horror, but he couldn’t help peeking through his fingers. “Oh, dear.”
Tina followed a safe distance behind Rachel, calling out moves, so that Rachel could dodge anyone that was coming up behind her.
Sam cleared the path in front of Rachel, while Mike and Puck managed to keep the brunette from being flanked.
Beiste screamed from the sidelines to “Go, go, go!”
For someone with such short legs, the girl could move. With only one goal in mind, Rachel ran towards the end zone. It was tantalizingly close when an opposing player got around Sam and dove for her legs. He landed in her path, tripping her. She flew forwards, grip tight on the ball as she tucked and rolled over into the end zone.
The bleachers roared in excitement at the touchdown.
Silence fell when number one didn’t stand. She was laid out on the ground unmoving.
“Oh, dear,” Kurt repeated, wringing his hands.
Tina and Puck slid to the ground beside her. “Rachel?”
“Is she okay?” Sam dropped to a knee by her other side.
“Rachel?” Puck could tell she was breathing, but she had landed hard.
“I’m fine, Noah,” she finally voiced. “I’m just basking.”
“Shit, Rach. You scared the hell out of us.” He leaned back against his feet.
She opened her eyes. “Just trying to psych out our opponent. The gall of that boy to trip a girl.” She smiled widely at him. “I scored a goal!”
“Hell, yeah, you did!” He helped her to her feet and tossed her up into the air by her waist in celebration.
The crowd went wild.
--
Tina completed the kick to gain the extra point. The team regrouped for a huddle. Finn named Sam QB for the rest of the half and went in search of some missing cheerleaders; and asked Puck to convince the rest of the Titans to rejoin the team.
As Sam looked at the team, he glanced at Puck before looking at Tina and Rachel, “How are you girls at catching a ball?”
“Before we move on to that, perhaps it would be useful to explain what is a legal tackle,” Rachel remarked.
Puck blinked at her. “You’re not serious.”
“You’ve got about ten seconds to explain.”
When the huddle broke, Sam glanced nervously up at Beiste.
Coach was not reassured by that look. “What are you kids planning?”
Rachel fake hobbled over to the line and slowly crouched in front of the player that had tripped her. “Mr. Football, aren’t you proud that you took down an eighty pound girl?” she taunted.
He had the grace to look down in shame.
Distraction long enough for the ball to go into play. Rachel and Tina shot to their feet as they went running after one of the tight ends on the other team; while Puck went after the other. The two girls were small, but they were fast.
“Holy smokes, those girls can run,” Burt stood to his feet.
Carole winced in concern. “But they’re so small.”
“I can’t watch this.” Kurt once again had his face covered.
Blaine on the other hand couldn’t help but watch. His mouth feel open in disbelief, as he watched the petite brunette take a flying dive at the tight end.
Further down the stands, Karofsky was rubbing his chest in memory.
“Shit,” Azimio said in disbelief, “she just body slammed him.”
Tina intercepted the ball that had been sailing in their direction, fumbling a bit with the catch. With some difficulty, she managed to reroute toward the other end zone. In her mad dash, she stumbled a bit as she tried to dodge. Mike and Sam cleared her path, tackling their opponents, but one managed to slip their net.
Luckily, number 79, Lauren Zizes appeared from out of nowhere and slammed the remaining obstacle out of Tina’s way.
“They just intercepted a pass and managed a touchdown.” Blaine shared high-fives and wide grins of elated surprise with Burt and Carole.
Puck jogged over to Rachel. “You good?”
“Of course not,” she stared woefully down at the grass stain on her pants. “These stains will never come out.”
He laughed. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle the dirt.”
She nudged him with her shoulder. “Shut up.”
“But seriously, you good? You didn’t hurt anything when you rammed that guy?”
She looked over her shoulder at the player she’d tackled. “I’m pretty sure he’s still feeling it. It’s all about where you hit, that’s what Dad taught me.”
“And you say you’re not a killer.” He gave her another pat on the ass. “Come on. This half’s almost done and you need time to change into your zombie costume.”
--
Puck found the rest of his former teammates in the locker room.
Karofsky spotted him first and sneered, “Looking good out there, Puck.”
“You know what? I don't want to hear it, Karofsky. I don't want to hear it from any of you. You're all a bunch of cowards. Coward losers.”
“Yeah, you're the only loser losing this game.”
“Dude, we managed two touchdowns in three minutes when the girls decided that they wanted to do more than just lie there out of the way. You really think we still need you?” Puck smirked condescendingly. “You know, this is it,” he said seriously. “This is the moment of our lives. This is the one we can actually look back and tell our children about. This is our moment to actually win something, and you guys are sitting in the damn stands! I mean, you're so afraid of being called geeks or losers or gay, that you settle for being nothing.” He gave them all a steady glare. “Well, we still have a whole half to play. And we can win this, guys.”
Azimio was caving. “What's the point, man? Beiste isn't going to let us play.”
“She will if you come out and perform at the halftime show.” Puck nodded when his team mates all agreed to join in… except for Karofsky. He hustled their asses and get some make up on.
--
Anthony stood beside Puck while they put on their zombie make up. “Is Rachel some kind of ninja assassin or something?”
Puck glared at him, before snorting and chuckling.
“I mean, someone so… tiny… shouldn’t be able to do that kind of stuff.”
“Berry’s a freaking ballet dancer.”
“They teach you to tackle in ballet?” Anthony said in confusion.
Puck shook his head, smirk in place as he left to grab his zombie uniform.
--
The halftime show kicked ass; and the Titans took the field in their zombie uniforms for the second half of the game.
Puck stopped beside Rachel. “You sure you don’t want to take the field for the second half?” he teased.
“Noah, I assure you that I’ve had my share of violence for the evening,” she said primly. “And I’m not putting those dirty football pants back on.” She waved the pompoms in her hand. “Besides, since I’ve already been a football player, I figured I’d try to be a cheerleader now.”
“Puck!” Finn called, “Let’s go. We’ve got a game to win.”
Rachel did something completely out of character. She slapped Puck’s ass. “Go win me a game!”
He looked at her in shock. “Did you just slap my ass?”
“Go!” she ordered.
--
At the end of the last quarter, everyone was on their feet as Puck caught the pass and scored a final touchdown just before the buzzer. The Titans rushed the field in celebration.
They’d won the state championship.
Mike and Puck rushed the sidelines and grabbed their female team mates. Lauren and Mercedes ran on to the field to share high-fives and hugs with the rest of the glee jocks, while Mike and Puck picked up Tina and Rachel, lifting them on to their backs.
Firm grip on her thighs, Puck piggy-backed Rachel out on to the field to cheer with the rest of the team. “Killer, we did it!”
“Congratulations,” she kissed the side of his head.
“We couldn’t have done it without you.” He twirled them around the field, cheering and shouting, until she squealed in delight, “Daddy! Dad!” He stopped mid twirl to see the approaching Berrys. He set her back down on her feet, so she could leap into her dads’ embraces.
“You made it!”
Karofsky and Azimio stopped in their celebration to catch sight of Berry’s dads.
“Shit, that’s her dad,” Azimio looked up at the towering black man.
“Her dads,” Dave corrected, nodding toward the other man.
“They don’t look gay.”
“Don’t be an idiot, dude.”
“Star, of course we made it,” Daddy Berry (AKA James) replied.
“When you said you joined the boys football team, we wanted to cheer you on,” Dad Berry (AKA Ethan) added.
“We were of course a little confused by the lying down during the first two quarters.”
Rachel blushed. “Well, I did explain that the girls joined mainly so that the boys were still eligible to compete. The girls didn’t think we should get in the way.”
“Well,” James smiled, “it’s a good thing you did, otherwise these boys would have lost quite badly.”
Ethan ran his hands down her arms. “I was a little worried after that little tumble you took, but you seem to be in one piece.”
“Dad, I was fine. You know I love to tumble. I just thought it would be more dramatic to stay down for a bit.”
James hugged her. “Always the little drama queen.”
Ethan eyed the boys scattered across the field watching them, as James and Rachel caught up. “Diva, how are things going between you and that Hudson boy?”
“Dad,” she pouted, “stop being so nosy.”
“I’m your father, I’m allowed to be nosy. Especially when it comes to boys.” He suddenly pointed a finger at a certain boy. He’d recognize that Mohawk anywhere, even with all the zombie makeup. “Mr. Puckerman, come here please.”
“S’up?” Noah greeted the shorter of the Misters Berry.
“Diva isn’t usually this tightlipped about her boyfriends. What can you tell me about her and Hudson?”
“Dad!” She stomped and turned to her daddy. “He’s embarrassing me.”
“Don’t worry, Star. Your little friends are too busy celebrating to pay attention to us.”
Puck shrugged and answered candidly, “Hudson dumped Berry, because she made out with me.”
“Noah!”
“Diva!”
James’s eyes narrowed and scanned the crowd for number five. “Hudson!” he ordered with his deep voice, “Front and center.”
Finn was almost too afraid to move, but he scrambled to stand as straight as possible in front of the taller man.
Burt and Carole, Kurt and Blaine finally joined them on the field. Burt glanced at his stepson, “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Finn said quickly, “why don’t you, mom and the guys go celebrate with the rest of the team? Dr. Berry just wanted to talk to me.”
Burt grinned and introduced him to the taller man. “Burt Hummel. It’s nice to meet you. You raised one hell of a girl.”
James smiled and shook the man’s hand good-naturedly. “Kurt’s father? It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Hi, Dr. Berry,” Kurt waved. “This is my stepmom, Carole. And this is Blaine.”
“My husband, Ethan.”
Burt smiled. “No wonder Rachel’s such a natural at football. Having two dads must mean a lot of sports in the house.”
“True enough,” Ethan agreed. “James and I wanted to enroll her in peewee sports as a child. But, alas, Rachel has a mind of her own and preferred ballet and singing. She only indulged us by taking krav maga and self defense classes with us. Unusual choice for our little pacifist, but she excelled at both.”
While her dads were distracted with chitchat, she hissed to Finn, “Run.”
He frowned in confusion.
“Go,” she waved, “shoo.”
Kurt eyed her curiously, “What are you doing?”
“Trying to protect Finn from my daddy. Noah told him that Finn broke up with me.”
His eyes widened in surprise.
Blaine watched as they tried to discretely hustle Finn away.
Kurt leaned towards him and explained, “Dr. Berry is an expert in krav maga. Mr. Berry teaches self defense at the Y; he learned specifically so that he could deal with any boy that would dare hurt their little girl. They’ll break Finn.”
Suddenly, they were interrupted by Burt smiling at Rachel, “We haven’t seen you come by lately. Too busy with Glee club?”
She flushed, looking between her parents and Finn’s, and Noah and Finn. “Uh, we broke up.”
“What?” Carole said in surprise, looking at her son. “What happened?”
Burt patted her hand, cajoling. “Let the kids deal with their own drama. I’m sure they don’t want us old folks butting in.”
“But-” she looked longingly at Rachel.
“Besides, Finn would be an idiot to let Rachel go for too long. She’s a peach.” Burt chucked Finn’s shoulder. “I’m sure whatever it was can be worked out.”
Finn gulped, looking between his parents (his mom loved Rachel) and hers (Daddy Berry looked ready to tear him apart). “Right, sure.”
Rachel grabbed her dads’ hands. “Come on, Dad, Daddy. We don’t want to take up too much of the Hummels’ time. We should let them join the celebration. Besides, I’d like to head home now, so I can wash this zombie make up off; and whatever dirt from the game.”
Burt waved to them. “I’ll get your number from Kurt. We should get together to watch the game sometime.”
“Great,” Ethan smiled. “See you later. It was nice to finally meet you both.”
“Bye Kurt, Blaine. Thanks for coming to cheer us on. Finn, Noah.” Rachel waved quickly and then ushered her parents away. Once they were out of earshot, she scowled at her fathers. “I wish you wouldn’t go around intimidating my friends.”
“It’s my right as a concerned parent to intimidate that boy.” James scowled at some of the other football players he had noticed. “Perhaps even a few other Titans as well.”
Ethan wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Diva, it seems like we have some catching up to do.”
“I agree,” James looked at his daughter. “Why don’t you start with your relations with the Puckerman boy?”
--
“So?” Noah joined Rachel at her locker the next day. “Do I need to change my name and go on the lam?”
She scowled at him. “Serves you right for telling my fathers like that.” She placed her things in her locker.
“Rach, come on, spill.”
Rachel sighed. “Suffice to say, they are not pleased with Finn. I’m ninety percent sure that if they see him, they’ll severely incapacitate him. You may want to warn him to stay away from the Y.”
His brow rose. “And me?”
“Daddy wanted me to remind you to bring your community service form for him to sign.”
“Is he going to use me as a demo-dummy next class?”
“Daddy and Dad are perfectly fine with you.”
He smirked. “Of course they are.”
Grabbing her books for class, she shut her locker and turned to face him; a smirk of her own gracing her lips. “You were worried.”
“Shit, lady, of course I was. Daddy Berry can break me with a single finger.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t exaggerate, Noah.”
“He’s intimidating. Have you noticed that everyone’s looking at you in awe today?”
“I have. It’s moderately irritating.” She pouted, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to deal with fame, if only a small crowd of gawkers is annoying me to no end.”
“Babe, that’s what bodyguards are for.” He offered her his arm and began to escort her to class. “Mike and I think we should make you our new good luck charm.”
“I haven’t had much luck in anything lately.”
“You won a championship football game. That’s got to count for something.”
“The team did quite well without Tina and me.”
“Whatever. Point is, Beiste named you and Tina MVPs for the game. Meet in the choir room for the party at lunch.” Puck dropped her off in front of her class. He gave her a pat on the ass and then sauntered away.
--
Puck stepped out of his classroom to find Rachel standing there waiting on him. He stopped in front of her and quirked an eyebrow.
“I allowed it before in the spirit of teamwork and camaraderie, but I would appreciate it if you would stop grabbing my butt,” she glared up at him.
He smirked. “I’m not grabbing your ass, Berry. Football players don’t grab each others’ asses.”
“Whatever. The point is, I want you to stop.”
“There’s a big difference.” He proceeded to slap her ass again. “That’s a friendly pat.” The same hand smoothes over her pert ass and cups it, giving it a gentle squeeze. “That’s a grab.”
She squeaked and her face went red. “Regardless. I would prefer that you keep your hands away from my behind.”
His hand still on said behind, he pulled her against him. “Are you sure about that?”
Flustered, she said honestly, “Perhaps not.” She pushed gently away from him. “But until I’m absolutely sure, it would be best to keep your hands to yourself.”
“Whatever you say, Berry.” With a cocky grin, he slowly stepped back, tucking his hands in his pockets. “I’ll see you at lunch, Berry.”
--
Rachel and Tina entered the choir room together to be showered by confetti and deafened by cheers, applause and kazoos from Glee Club.
“Congratulations!” Schuester clapped enthusiastically. “I’m so proud of the two of you.”
As quarterback, Finn presented them with a plaque. Their names were engraved on the little brass shield, joining the rest of the previous MVPs for the Titans.
Mike and Puck handed them each a bouquet of roses and then hugged them tightly.
“So proud of my killer.” Puck’s arms engulfed her. “Badass.”
Mike kissed his girlfriend and then quickly stepped back to let the rest of the team offer congratulations.
“Hold up,” Beiste called. “There’s one more thing.” She pulled out jerseys with ‘BERRY’ and ‘COHEN-CHANG’ printed across the back.
The girls squealed in delight as they pulled their jerseys over their heads.
“I’m still surprised you were able to order jerseys in their size,” Will remarked to Shannon as they watched the celebrations.
“Didn’t. The home ec class altered the regular jerseys down for the girls.”
Tina and Rachel struck poses in their new jerseys - although the combination of bright red sports jersey didn’t quite match the black Goth skirt and stockings of one; nor the pleated plaid skirt and matching leggings of the other. Giggling though, they continued to snap pictures.
Rachel leaned back against number twenty, who had muscled his way over for a picture. "How do I look Noah?"
He shrugged, his best gruff stare in place for the photo. "Okay, I guess."
"Oh,” she pouted. “Okay then."
A sexy grin spread across his lips. "Just sayin’, you'd look a lot hotter in my jersey. And nothing else." His hands reached up to cup her face. “Congratulations, Berry,” he said softly before placing an equally soft kiss on her lips.
She sighed, “Noah.”
“You want to go out with me on Friday?”
“My fathers are going to grill you.”
“Bring it.”
“Come by at seven?”
He kissed her again to seal the deal. “That mean your ass is no longer off limits?”
--
The End