fic: take this sinking boat and point it home

[snuffleslove]

title take this sinking boat and point it home
author snuffleslove
pairing zayn/liam, harry/louis past danielle/liam
word count 24k
rating r
warnings slash, swearing, kidfic
summary Liam's on his way to get groceries when he hears the music. It's low and beautiful, seeping through his skin and settling in his bones and Liam forgets about everything else, makes a sharp turn towards the source of it, nearly turning over his bike in his haste. He rounds two corners before he finds the boy, sitting on an overturned bucket with a guitar in his lap and a bike carelessly toppled by his feet.
Or, a Once the Musical AU but I write a happy ending instead because those are so much more enjoyable. For anyone who hasn't seen the musical (you should), this is basically angsty zayn/li kidfic.
a/n for morgan who hates kids and loves kid fic. special thanks to cass for the never ending encouragement. dunno where i would be without you, babe!


Liam's on his way to get groceries when he hears the music. It's low and beautiful, seeping through his skin and settling in his bones and Liam forgets about everything else, makes a sharp turn towards the source of it, nearly turning over his bike in his haste. He rounds two corners before he finds the boy, sitting on an overturned bucket with a guitar in his lap and a bike carelessly toppled by his feet. He's beautiful too, the boy, black hair soft against his forehead and dark skin wrapped up in a sweater that is a few sizes too big and a few decades too worn. His brow is furrowed in concentration over the notes and his voice trips with emotion that winds its way around Liam's shoulders, holds on tight.

Then, abruptly he stops playing, his movements jarring in their frustration. He tucks his guitar into his case and the tragedy of the unfinished song hits Liam so hard he cries out -

"Don't!" He hops off his bike as the other boy looks up at him, startled. "Sorry," Liam curses himself silently, "I mean, is it yours?"

Hesitantly, the boy nods.

"It's beautiful," Liam says, feeling suddenly, woefully, inadequate. But he approaches the boy, determined.

"I'm Liam," he says, "And your music is beautiful."

"Zayn," the boy responds almost automatically, averting his eyes.

"Are you, I mean -" Liam flails around for something to say, "I haven't seen you around before," he finishes lamely.

The boy cocks an eyebrow at him.

"Should you have?" he asks coolly.

Liam winces.

"No I only meant, you look like you should be in uni and it's not that big so I figured I would have - I mean," and crap, Liam has no idea how old Zayn is or whether he even goes to uni and he normally never does this, ok. He doesn't normally strike up conversation with complete strangers so.

"I go to uni," Zayn is saying, apparently having taken pity on him, "Only I take night classes so I can help my dad out in his shop in the mornings, and so I can work on my music," he adds bitterly, almost to himself.

"That's brilliant," Liam says, "Are you - "

But Zayn is shaking his head.

"I'm not playing anymore, I'm giving it up. I quit."

"But, you can't," Liam protests fiercely, shocked, "You're. You're incredible, why would you ever want to give it up?"

"Because. No one listens," Zayn mutters darkly, scowling at Liam like its his fault. "No one cares. No one - "

"I care," Liam interrupts him, sincere against his scowl, "I'd listen to your music everyday if I could."

Zayn shrugs, looks at his feet, and Liam guesses he's embarrassed him so he casts about for something to say to change the subject.

"What does your dad do?" He settles on finally. Zayn shrugs again but the blush is fading on his cheeks when he looks up at Liam.

"Watches. I mean," he frowns a little. "We sell and repair watches."

Liam's eyes widen.

"Really?" he asks excitedly, fidgeting with his sweater and pulling up his cuff as Zayn watches him suspiciously, "Could you possibly," he extends his arm to Zayn to show him the watch he's got on his wrist, the gold hands stuck forever on 4:42, "Is it mendable?" he breathes softly.

"You wear a broken watch everyday?" Zayn asks him a bit contemptuously.

"It was my father's," Liam says, smiling because he doesn't want Zayn to feel bad. People always react differently to death, Liam's found, but in general, it tends to put a stop to comfortable conversation, and Liam doesn't want that at all, not with this beautiful boy who makes beautiful music.

"Oh," is all Zayn says though. He reaches out for Liam's wrist and runs a thumb over the engraved carvings. "Wow," he tells Liam, and Liam tries not to focus on the way his slim cold fingers feel wrapped tight round Liam's pulse point, "I could try fixing it, if you wanted," Zayn says.

"That'd be brilliant," Liam smiles at him, and then he frowns, "Fuck I mean. I can't really. I couldn't really pay you. I could pay you in music maybe?" he asks hopefully.

"Music?" Zayn asks, arching his eyebrows in what Liam takes to be a challenge.

"Music," Liam affirms, "Piano, actually."

"You play?" Zayn asks and Liam probably should be insulted by his skepticism but a rush of exhilaration flows through him at the way he's managed to rile Zayn up.

"My father taught me," Liam tells him, twisting his wrist in Zayn's hand to play a melody into his forearm.

Zayn drops his arm.

"C'mon then," Liam says, swallowing his laugh, "I'll grab your guitar."

"My guitar? No wait - leave it, I don't need it anymore."

Liam opens and closes his mouth once.

"I'll grab your guitar," he repeats, as if Zayn hadn't even spoken, rolling his eyes when Zayn scowls at him again. "C'mon then," Liam orders, swinging Zayn's guitar over his shoulder and then hopping onto his bike.

Zayn's glaring at him, the frown in his eyes a seemingly permanent tinge to his brown eyes and long lashes, but he does what he's told, getting on his bike and shoving up his sleeves a bit.

"Where are we going?" he asks but Liam just shoots him a wide grin, begins to pedal off.

They bike for about ten minutes in silence, the wind in their ears enough to keep the awkwardness at bay. Zayn seems comfortable on a bike, keeping up with Liam effortlessly, and Liam smiles to himself, picks up the pace a bit. It's an important measure of a person, the abilty to ride, at least to Liam. He grew up with his feet in the pedals, spent years chasing after the older kids on the block, until he was the one being chased, setting his own rules in the skate park. He left that life behind six years ago, but he still loves to ride.

When they reach their destination Liam dismounts and leaves his bike rack, and after a moment Zayn does the same, cursing slightly under his breath when his sleeves fall over his fingers.

"Where'd you learn to ride?" Liam asks him curiously, because he's got a rough sort of style that means he hasn't grown up on Liam's side of the block so to speak.

"A mate, Danny Riach," Zayn says with a twisted half smile, like he guesses what Liam's trying to get at, "East side," he offers a little warily, "Up until my mum died."

Liam nods. He doesn't know much about it, mostly because that sort of thing doesn't happen as intensely on the west side as it does over east, but he's heard the stories of course, of the violence and the drugs and the gang leaders.

"Oh," he responds after awhile. "Sorry about your mum."

"S'okay," Zayn shrugs, gaze focused on his feet, "She was, um. She was really unstable. We did our best together, but -. Anyway, when she died, I moved in with my dad."

"Do you and your dad get along?" Liam asks, curious to hear more.

Zayn fixes him with a stare.

"Guess so. I don't really know him, honestly. He was the child support check every month or the occasional birthday card if he remembered for most of my life. But the alternative - " he shudders a little, "I just knew I needed to get clean of it. So I did. Paid my dues and all."

"That's really good," Liam says sincerely, bumping their shoulders together as they walk, "I'm glad."

"Thanks," Zayn mumbles, "So um. Where are we going?"

"Only the best place on earth," Liam grins at him, pushing open a door and holding it out for Zayn. The sign above the door says 'Music' in all capital letters, though the C hangs crooked and the lights don't work anymore.

It's dark in the shop because its past closing time, but from somewhere inside the lights flick on as the door clangs to a shut behind them and a voice calls out -

"Oi, Liam, that you?? Thought you weren't coming by until - "

He lets out a low wolf whistle as he approaches, eyes dragging along Zayn's slim frame, features shifting into a mischievous grin that Liam knows is practically permanently etched onto his face.

"Wow," he says slowly. "Way to go, Liam, I'm impressed."

"Tommo," Liam groans, Zayn's eyes are lowered and he's smirking, god, and Liam wants to disappear into the dirty off-colored floor, "Chrissake Tommo - "

"Don't get me wrong," Louis says conversationally to Zayn, ignoring Liam entirely, "I know Liam spits a good game it's just been a while since I've seen it in action - "

"Zayn's a musician," Liam interrupts loudly, cursing himself inwardly for the way he knows he's flushed red, "We met a whole five seconds ago on the corner of Walt and Canary," he glares at Louis and Louis fists a hand in Liam's shirt by his hip in apology.

He's still laughing at Liam though. Liam hates him.

"Louis," he says, extending his other hand out.

"I'm Zayn," Zayn replies, shaking his hand, "Not a musician though."

"Why've you come to my music shop then?" Louis asks, eyes twinkling amusedly.

"It's yours?" Zayn asks, glancing around at the instruments and equipment and sheet music that line every wall.

"Yup," Louis nods, "Was my dad's, and now - well I'm just trying to keep it afloat. You know."

Zayn just shrugs but Louis seems satisfied anyway, hand relaxing slightly where he's got a grip on Liam.

"So why've you brought him here then?" Louis asks, leaning into Liam's shoulder.

"Was gonna um, was gonna play for him so he'd fix my watch."

"Oh," Louis arches an eyebrow at him curiously, but doesn't ask, "Go on then," he nods Zayn towards the back door. Liam makes to follow him but Louis holds him back with a slight pressure.

"Doesn't say much does he?" he mutters out of the corner of his mouth, "but god he's so pretty - "

"Shut up, Lou - " Liam hisses, "I don't even know if he's gay for chrissake."

Louis smirks at him.

Liam shuts the back door in his face.

Zayn's got his back to him when Liam turns, and he's running smooth hands along the black surface of the piano. Liam smiles at the sight.

"Saying hello to my piano?" Liam asks softly and Zayn looks over his shoulder at him but his expression is unreadable.

"Guess so," he says just as quietly. Liam grins, walks around to settle himself on the familiar piano bench, shifting his weight from left to right.

"Hello piano," he says very seriously, hands playing on the keys in a caress.

"You have massive hands," Zayn says, blinking. Liam laughs at him.

"Suppose I do, fat fingers too, it's awful."

Zayn shakes his head.

"No, I don't think that at all," he tells Liam, smirking a little at the blush in Liam's cheeks. His eyes widen then, as if remembering something and his smirk grows, "Your friend's really funny," he says casually.

Liam groans, drops his face into his hands.

"God, I'm sorry about that. He's. Louis's been my best mate since I can remember. I keep trying to get rid of him but - "

Zayn chuckles a little.

"I am, for the record," he says offhandedly.

"What?" Liam asks cautiously.

"Gay," Zayn says.

Oh. Liam shrugs a little apologetically. Louis tends to have this effect on people. This isn't the first person he's had to let down easy over the years.

"Louis's got a boy friend. They're, they've been together for years, live together above the shop and everything. He's a bit of a flirt, yeah, but he's properly in love with Harry. So um. Sorry about that."

Zayn stares at him for a full minute, and then he bursts into laughter. It's a real laugh, one that starts in his belly and reaches all the way to his eyes, creating lines that shape his face into something younger and brighter and even more beautiful and Liam can't help but laugh too, even though he's sure Zayn's laughing at him. He's laughing a little giddily, hands still moving over the piano keys and then suddenly he's playing too, chords that create a backdrop for Zayn's amusement.

Zayn goes quiet, laughter fading until it's just him staring intently at Liam. Liam's hands still.

"You really can play," he says with a little wonderment. Liam nods.

"Can't believe you doubted me," he teases, but Zayn doesn't laugh.

"Here," he fiddles with his jeans pocket for a moment before pulling out a crinkled piece of paper and handing it to Liam, "Could you. I mean, you don't have to, if you don't want to. But - "

He falls silent as Liam unfolds the paper and smooths it out.

It's sheet music, chords and a few words written in, surrounded by doodles and scribbles and strike outs.

"Get your guitar," he demands, eyes never leaving the paper, already working through the chords in his head, letting the melody play into him, dance through his fingers and down the strings of the piano.

"What? But I -" Zayn hesitates and Liam wants to shake him.

"Your guitar, Zayn," Liam insists impatiently, so Zayn sighs, takes it out and messes about with it for a moment before joining Liam on the piano bench, his back to Liam's shoulder.

And then he begins to play, and Liam sucks in a quiet breath, listening to the way the song mourns, Zayn's voice arching high above the rough chords.

Liam joins him after a moment, adding his voice and his notes and he can't see Zayn's face but he can see the way his shoulders relax and his back straightens out, can see the muscles of his forearms tense and relax. He thinks if he looked hard enough he could probably see the blood rush through his veins in time to this moment, and he feels the hairs along his arms rise as his body responds too.

It's over too quickly, and Liam bites his lip as Zayn colors his last note with a sorrowful vibrato.

Zayn swivels around on the bench to face him.

"You sing too," Zayn accuses him and he's staring hard at Liam and there's something in his eyes and suddenly Liam can actually feel himself falling, can feel his muscles tense and his heart speed up and his breath go shallow in preparation for the crash.

Fuck.

Stupidly beautiful boys were definitely not on his grocery list.

"Not really," he mumbles and then, when the silence stretches too long, "Come on, I played for you didn't I? You promised you'd fix my watch."

Zayn seems taken aback by the abrupt change, but he recovers.

"No I didn't," he mutters, but either Liam's growing on him or he's got nothing else to do because he follows Liam out the back room into the music shop and then says, "My place isn't too far from here actually."

"You kids leaving already?" Louis asks. He's got some kind of weird tool in one hand and there's grease on his cheek and Liam chuckles, wipes it off with a thumb.

"Yeah," he tells him, "Gotta get my watch repaired and then be home in time for dinner. Speaking of which, you let mum know Harry's back tonight?"

"Not tonight, Saturday night, Liam," Louis says patiently, "And she already knows, of course she does."

"Right, sorry," Liam cuffs him on the shoulder and then turns to leave.

"Nice meeting you Zayn," Louis calls out, "I'm sure I'll see you again."

Zayn frowns a little.

"Yeah, sure mate."

"So you still live with your mum then?" Zayn asks him, nudging their shoulders together to let Liam know he's teasing. They're walking their bikes down the road and they've interrupted the sun as she sets, her late afternoon rays flushing the streets a deep orange and kissing the tips of Zayn's eyelashes.

Liam nods.

"Yeah, was gonna live with Louis but. Things changed."

He thinks about telling Zayn everything. Thinks about the way Zayn would probably withdraw, cold and critical.

He stays quiet.

"Was only joking," Zayn says finally, "Still live with my dad after all don't I? Anyway, you're in uni? Last year?"

"Um, no, not exactly," Liam responds, fudging his answer again, "I had to take some time off, after college so. I'm twenty four, but still in my third year," he laughs a little at himself.

"Oh," Zayn's nodding sympathetically, and Liam flinches against the undeserved understanding. He normally doesn't lie like this, hates it really, but Zayn is. Well he's a stranger and after he fixes Liam's watch they'll probably part ways and never see each other again. And it feels so good to be with someone who doesn't know, who doesn't have pity or judgement behind their eyes for Liam, who Liam can just be with.

"What about you?" he asks, glancing at him.

Zayn's head tilts in consideration.

"Well, five years ago I was all set to go to uni for music. And then the store took a hit so I took a couple years off to help my dad, and when I was finally ready to go back to school well. Music seemed like a real risky investment so. I don't know. Decided to do business instead. I'm making my way slowly to a degree now, taking a few night classes every semester and what - ?" he breaks off, because Liam is sort staring at him with his mouth open, he can't help it.

"Nothing," he stammers out, "S'just, I didn't know you knew that many words."

Zayn's eyes widen as surprise and then indignation and then amusement flicker through them.

"Shut up," he laughs, nudging at Liam again, "God. You asked!"

"No no I know, I'm sorry," Liam says quickly, nudging him back. "I like it. I mean. I like you."

Zayn's laughing at him with his eyes, amusement painting his face a shade younger, and Liam wishes for a moment that they'd met years ago in a sandbox somewhere, dirt under their fingernails and in between their toes.

"I'm embarrassing myself, aren't I," Liam asks Zayn slowly, thinking that's alright if it keeps the mirth in Zayn's eyes.

"A bit, yeah," Zayn agrees, wrinkling his nose when he smiles.

"It's just, I don't normally do this you know?" Liam admits, waving a hand between them.

"What, tell strangers they make beautiful music? I hope not," Zayn teases, voice dipping low with something Liam can't place.

Liam shakes his head, serious.

"No I mean I just. I've only got a handful of friends yeah? Niall and Louis and I'm not even sure if Harry counts because he's Louis's boy friend. I mean that's how I know anyone really, through Louis, and he's been my friend since I can remember so - "

"Hey it's alright," Zayn tries to reassure him but Liam shrugs it off, frustrated with himself.

"No I mean, I'm fine, I'm happy, that's not the point," he takes a deep breath, "It's just. I really think you make beautiful music. It actually stopped me in my tracks and made me open my mouth and talk to you and now I'm humiliating myself because I can't stop talking and it's all because of you. So you should never stop playing, is what I'm trying to say really."

"Oh," Zayn stops short, and Liam does too, feels himself being sized up. "Okay," he says finally.

"Okay?" Liam asks, unable to help his surprise, "I mean. Okay, then. Good."

After a moment, Zayn starts moving again and so Liam follows him. He seems to be mulling something over in his head and Liam is beginning to think maybe Zayn thinks he's off his rocker.

He wouldn't be far off.

But then Zayn turns back to him and there's something inside him that has unwound, leaving him looser, more relaxed, and so Liam relaxes too.

"So," Zayn starts, the beginnings of mischief showing when he bares his teeth and Liam has a flash of shit, just signed up for another Louis in my life before he remembers that this is temporary, "Louis and your mum are really close then?" Zayn is waggling his eyebrows a little, and Liam huffs a surprised laugh, swats at him.

"Sod off, that's my mum," Liam whines. Zayn shoots him an innocent grin and god, but he's so beautiful, "Nah, it was only Louis and his dad you know, for a long time, and then his dad died and my mum just kind of took him in. And when Harry moved in she kind of took him in too.'

"Took him in?"

"Yeah well," he smiles a little wistfully, "You know how Harry and Louis have a flat about the shop right? All they really do in there is sleep. Otherwise, they're eating meals at my mum's place or helping her around the house or annoying the hell out of me. Niall's the same way really. Kid moved here from Ireland with hardly anything but the clothes he was wearing, stumbled into Louis' music shop and hasn't left since," he laughs a little, "And in exchange my mum gets three more sons. Or something."

Zayn grins.

"Sounds like a nightmare. Besides, aren't you a handful already?" he teases. Liam scowls at him.

"Where's this goddamn shop already," he grumbles, mostly because he doesn't want to focus on the way Zayn's tongue goes to the back of his teeth when he's poking fun at Liam.

"Here," Zayn announces suddenly, gesturing widely with both hands and letting his bike clatter to his feet. It's a small shop, with a simple "Watches" in big faded letters hanging low over the doorway. Liam's probably passed it a thousand times without giving it another thought, and suddenly it seems so insane that Zayn has lived here for half his life without Liam. "S'not much but it gets the job done," Zayn tells him.

He's locking up his bike with a look of concentration that Liam cannot look away from. When Zayn looks up to find Liam watching him, he huffs an embarrassed laugh.

"I know I don't have to," he says, gesturing to the padlock. It's true. Liam doesn't even carry a lock on him. "But. Old habits die hard. East side streets aren't nearly as safe as these."

He's fishing for his keys in his giant sweater pocket a little angrily and Liam bites his lip against a frown, doesn't want his empathy to be mistaken for pity.

"I'd be devastated if my bike got stolen," he says. Zayn smiles a little gratefully at him.

"Yeah, me too," he says.

He pushes through the door and beckons Liam to follow after him. The shop is small and narrow with watches everywhere and Zayn leads him to the very back of it, pushing through a thick curtain and into a small study. There's a desk in the corner with a gigantic magnifying glass on top of it and Zayn settles in the chair and reaches for Liam's watch.

Liam fumbles with it for a moment before he manages to take it off, wrist feeling odd without the weight of it against his bones.

It's a little mesmerizing, watching Zayn's hands play with the delicacy of the instrument, tongue between his teeth as he works through it. Liam watches him shamelessly. A couple more hours and he's home free, he tells himself. It can't hurt to look, right?

"Seems like a problem with the balance wheel and its adjacent spring," Zayn says after awhile.

"Can you fix it?" Liam asks curiously.

"Course I can," Zayn grins woolfishly at him from underneath long lashes, "Can fix anything."

"Yeah yeah," Liam's smile tugs reluctantly at the corners of his mouth, "How long's it gonna take?"

"Well we've got to order the part. Might take a couple days for it to get here," Zayn tells him apologetically, "I'll take good care of it, yeah?" he says, voice softening. Liam nods.

"Yeah, no big deal. I'll come back in a couple days -" he turns to leave but Zayn gets out of his chair.

"Hey, do you smoke?" he asks, "Cause I just picked up some of this gold kush - "

"I haven't," Liam interrupts him, "Not in a long time." Not since Mack, his brain fills in unhelpfully.

"C'mon," Zayn wheedles, and his eyes are big and round and eager and suddenly Liam's only got one word left in his vocabulary.

"Yeah, alright."

Two, then.

"Really?" and Zayn's eyes light up like a kid's on Christmas, except that Liam has never wanted to kiss a little kid.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Liam grumbles, "Stop that, you've already convinced me."

"What, this?" Zayn asks innocently, tilting his head and batting his eyelashes. Liam groans.

"This better be some quality spliff," Liam mutters under his breath, flushing a little when Zayn laughs heartily at him.

He follows Zayn up a narrow staircase and into a comfortable looking flat. The sitting room's neat if not a little bare and the kitchen looks like it's hardly been used.

"Dad's a stickler for tidiness," Zayn explains, pushing Liam down the hall a little, "That's why he hates my room."

Liam knows instantly that Zayn isn't exaggerating. Zayn's room is an absolute mess. And he's an expert at messes, ok?

"Jesus Christ, you're messier than my - than Niall," he finishes lamely, flushing. Zayn eyes him curiously but is kind enough not to question it.

"It's nurturing," Zayn says with a shrug, looking around. Posters cover every inch of wall space and most of them are torn and tattered. His duvet lies half off his bed and half on the floor and everywhere else there are clothes and crumpled up pieces of paper and broken cd covers. Liam isn't sure where to put his feet.

"It's unhealthy," he retorts.

Zayn smirks.

"Don't worry, I'll clear a space on the bed for us," he says and Liam feels himself go hot.

"Where's the spliff?" he asks.

"Bottom drawer," Zayn informs him with a slight nod of his head. "Go on, I'll even let you roll."

It's been a while since Liam's rolled a joint but he manages, fingers finding their muscle memory, deft in a way only repetition can bring.

"Greens?" he offers Zayn, who's sitting crosslegged across from him on the bed, knees overlapping slightly. He's warm already, where Liam can feel him, and a part of Liam can't wait for his blood to get hot and slow.

Zayn's lips settle around the edge of the joint and his eyes flutter shut and Liam can't look away, hand shaking slightly as he lets the flame lick at the spliff, eyes trained to the hollow of Zayn's cheeks.

Yeah, most parts of Liam're telling him to take two hits and get the hell out of here.

"Shotgun?" Zayn challenges, voice a croak to keep the smoke back. Liam shakes his head immediately. He's always been sensible.

"No, nah, I'm good. Thanks," he says, hastily taking his own pull, coughing on the exhale. Zayn rubs his back in comfort and he already feels warmer but maybe that's just the electricity under Liam's own skin.

There's no slow burn to be found here, he knows that. Just hot flames, stubborn and uncontrollable and dangerous.

"I should um," he starts to move, "I should go. It's probably best if I - "

"Hey, wait," Zayn stands too, arms open, "Let me just - "

He presses himself to Liam, cups his free hand around the back of Liam's head and pulls him down gently for a kiss, but Liam's ready. He doesn't allow himself to feel a thing.

"I can't," he says firmly, pushing Zayn away. "I'm sorry. Trust me, you don't want - . You'd thank me. If you knew everything, you'd thank me."

He doesn't look back.

He thinks that's the end of it, really. He thinks maybe at the end of the week he'll swing by, pick up his watch, leave a bit of money for Zayn and his dad and retreat back into his own solid world. He thinks in a few weeks time he'll forget he ever met Zayn and Zayn will forget he ever met him and they'll spend the rest of their time in this city walking on parallel paths once more.

He thinks maybe he'll start shopping at the Tesco on the other side of town, just in case.

So when he answers the door two days later,  he's really really not expecting this stupidly beautiful boy on his doorstep looking up at him with a stupidly beautiful smile on his face and a guitar slung around his back. And it's worse because Liam's got Mack settled on his hip with her hands in his hair, having had to chase her down before she answered the door by herself.

If Zayn can sense his discomfort he doesn't comment, just smiles breathlessly up at Liam, fisting his hands in the strap across his chest.

"Hi," he says, smile widening for the little girl who's tucking her face into Liam's chest in a sudden bout of shyness. "Who's this pretty little thing? What's your name?"

"Mack," she mumbles, lifting her head up to fix big suspicious brown eyes on the stranger, wild curls bouncing around her face in a huff.

"Hi Mack," Zayn says politely, "I'm Zayn, pleasure to make your acquaintance." He takes one of her small hands and kisses the back of it and Mack giggles, smile lighting up her entire face. And then her attention catches on Zayn's shirt and her eyes widen. Her gaze drops down to her own shirt and then back up at Zayn's.

"You're wearing my shirt," she accuses. He grins at her.

"Oh yeah," he agrees, "Spiderman's pretty cool huh?"

"Yeah," she says cautiously, "I watched all the movies," she tells him, "I didn't even cover my eyes during the scary parts. Eric at school says only boys get to like Spiderman, but I think he's wrong," she says defiantly, raising her chin as if daring Zayn to disagree.

"I think girls can like Spiderman," Zayn says very seriously, "Spiderman's pretty special. Boys and girls should like him."

She nods, apprehension vanishing in place of a happy smile.

"I know! He's so awesome," she says earnestly, eyes wild with excitement. Liam kisses the top of her forehead before she can get carried away. He's seen it happen.

"Mack, baby," he says quietly, smiling a little when she looks up at him, "Do you think maybe you could give Zayn and I a second to talk?"

"Ok," she nods seriously, and then she cups Liam's face with both hands, pats him firmly on the cheeks, "Don't scare him away, ok? I like him," she says sternly, and behind her he can hear Zayn muffle a laugh into his palm. His heart sinks a little. He's gonna be scared away all on his own, he wants to tell her. Instead he nudges their noses together.

"I'll do my best, ok?" he promises. When he sets her down she makes a run for the kitchen, curls flying behind her, and Liam takes a second to remember how blessed he is before he turns back to the boy on his doorstep, resigned.

"Smart kid," Zayn points out, grinning at Liam. Liam wipes a hand over his face.

"Yeah," he mumbles, "Too smart."

"I know what you mean," Zayn nods, "My kid cousin's growing up way too fast and - "

"She's mine, Zayn," Liam interrupts, and suddenly he's exhausted, slumping against the doorframe. Zayn closes his mouth. "She's my daughter. She's six."

"I know," Zayn says slowly, staring at Liam, "I mean, I figured. She's got your eyes."

"Yeah," Liam says. He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Right so. I'll see you around, I guess."

He goes to close the door but Zayn gets a hand in there before he can.

"Jesus Christ Li," he snaps, and he's still staring at Liam, eyes wide, "I just came to give you your watch back. No need to go slamming doors."

Liam blinks.

"My watch?"

Zayn waves a box in front of his face.

"The watch you gave to me to repair? Didn't want you to feel weird about coming to pick it up after. After I tried to kiss you," he blushes, "So I just thought I'd drop it off."

"Look Zayn - " Liam starts, but the other boy waves a hand to shut him up.

"I get it, yeah? You're not interested. I just - " he fiddles with the strap on his back. "I thought -" abruptly, he stiffens. "Nevermind," he mutters darkly, "I dunno what I thought."

"Are you still interested?" Liam blurts out incredulously, unable to help himself.

Zayn raises an eyebrow.

"Have you grown a third arm somewhere I can't see? Killed someone since we last met?" he asks him sharply. Liam shakes his head cautiously.

"Then yes, I'm still interested. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just thought. With Mack and all I just," he bites his lip, "I shouldn't anyway. I mean, I don't. I don't just fool around with - "

"Liam honey, have you been keeping that poor boy out on the doorstep all this while?" Liam's mom comes up behind Liam with Mack tugging on her hand. "Hi there, I'm Karen. Excuse his poor manners, he's been taught better than that."

"Zayn," he says, "It's nice to meet you. Don't worry, I was just going - "

"Hi Zayn," Louis says, grinning over Karen's shoulder at him, "See, I told you I'd see you again."

"Hi Louis," Zayn says a little warily. Liam has to bite his lip to keep from grinning. Wariness is exactly the reaction Louis should evoke in people.

"Karen, did Liam tell you Zayn's a musician? They came to the shop so Liam could play for him," he says significantly. Zayn's watching them curiously. Liam wants to hit Louis.

"Oh," Karen says, squeezing Liam's arm in surprise, "Wow. Guess you should stay for dinner then, if you got Liam to play piano."

"Mum - " Liam whines but Zayn comes to his rescue.

"I really appreciate the invitation," Zayn says politely, "But I can't tonight. I told my dad I'd - "

"Tomorrow then," Louis interrupts, a gleam in his eye that can only mean more trouble for Liam, "C'mon, it'll be fun. You can bring your guitar."

"Well, I don't know - " Zayn says slowly. He looks up at Liam, a question in his eye, and Liam glances from Louis to his Mum and back to Zayn and then sighs, nods his head once. He knows when it's futile to fight.

"Come for dinner," he says, trying to keep the reluctance out of his voice, "It'll be fun."

Zayn shows up in a collared shirt and thin black tie, guitar slung on his back and two boxes in his hands. One contains a pecan pie still warm from the bakery that he gives to Karen, who pulls him into a hug with a whispered welcome and then retreats into the kitchen with it. And the other has a Spiderman action figure with web-shooting action that he gives to Mack.

She can't stop staring at it, small hands clutching the box tightly, as if Zayn might take it back at any moment.

"Is this really for me?" she asks him, a little overwhelmed. Zayn nods solemnly.

"Girls should get to play with action figures too, right?" he says. She grins at him.

"Thanks, Zayn," she says eagerly, "Can I open him Daddy? Please?"

"After dinner," Liam says firmly, "You really didn't have to - " he tells Zayn quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I wanted to," Zayn says. He shrugs a little but he's staring meaningfully at Liam, and Liam looks away.

"Harry just flew in tonight, so you'll get to meet the whole gang," he says lamely. He wonders idly what it means that a boy with long lashes and calloused fingers can come in and turn his world upside down in a heartbeat.

"That's right," Mack jumps in, momentarily distracted from her new toy. She reaches out and grabs Zayn's hand.

"C'mon," she says, "You can meet all my uncles."

Zayn scoops her up easily, tickling her feet.

"What's for dinner Mack?" he demands playfully, "What'd you cook for me?"

"Nothing," she giggles and shrieks, bopping him on the nose, "I don't cook," she informs him, wrinkling her nose at the idea, "Cooking's for grown ups."

"He seems nice," Liam's mum whispers, wrapping her arms around Liam when he reenters the kitchen. Together they watch Mack tug Zayn along to the dining room. Harry and Louis are making out against the table and Liam winces a little in sympathy as he watches his daughter wedge herself between the two of them, holding Zayn's hand in a vice grip.

"Mum," Liam warns, just as softly.

"Liam," she counters, "C'mon Liam baby, you're allowed to - "

"No I'm not," Liam interrupts firmly, "No, I'm not. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to Mack and. I can't. Ok?"

"Liam - " she pleads but he shakes his head stubbornly.

"And besides," he tells her over her sigh of exasperation, steering her into the dining room with two hands on her shoulders, "I hardly even know him. He could be like, a serial killer or something."

"Excuse me," Mack is demanding, pushing at Harry with all her strength. Harry doesn't move an inch, "I want you to meet my friend - Uncle Lou," she whines, when they don't break apart.

"Sorry Mackadoo," Louis grins breathlessly against Harry's lips, "I've just missed him a lot."

"Well, you're hogging him," she tells him, "What if I've missed him too?"

"You missed me?" Harry asks with a happy grin, breaking away from Louis to pick Mack up and toss her in the air delightedly, "Doesn't look like you missed me. Looks like you replaced me," he pouts at her and she giggles, swats at him.

"No, I haven't. You're silly," she scolds, "This is my friend Zayn. Well he was Daddy's friend first but he was my friend second so we're going to share him," she explains as the two of them shake hands.

Over Zayn's shoulder Harry's shooting him a look. Liam glares back at him stubbornly.

"Hey now," Louis says, taking Mack from Harry's arms, "I knew him before you, remember? He was Daddy's friend first but he was my friend second and your friend third."

"Oh," Mack frowns, "But you're going to share him right?"

"Well - " Louis hums in consideration and Mack pouts back at him.

"C'mon," she needles, "You're my favorite uncle - "

"Hey," exclaims Harry indignantly, stealing her back and tickling her all over.

"You three better not be scuffling over my pot roast," warns Liam's mom, "Liam, put out an extra place setting for Zayn would you?"

"I can - " Zayn starts but Liam waves a dismissive hand in his direction and moves to grab the silverware.

"Well, your granddaughter's being a nuisance," Harry tells Karen, tickling her some more.

"Uncle Harry," Mack is shrieking, laughing so that her entire body shakes uncontrollably.

"Hey did you really miss me?" he asks seriously, swinging her around so she can wrap her arms around his neck. He presses a kiss to her forehead and she presses a kiss back on his.

"Mhmm," she nods vigorously, "Well, not as much as Uncle Louis did but - "

"He missed me a lot?" Harry asks quietly, looking up at Louis with adoration in his eyes. Liam spends half his time around them wanting to vomit and half his time feeling ridiculously fond. It's exhausting.

"Yeah he was sad for awhile," she frowns, "It took me and Daddy a lot of work to cheer him up."

"Is that right," Harry says, leaning forward to peck a light kiss to Louis' lips. Louis' cheeks are flushed but he nods a little, smiling. "Thanks for taking care of him for me, Curly. Hey, wait a minute look! I think my hair's gotten curlier than yours - "

"Not a chance," she exclaims, wiggling until Harry puts her down. She grabs Zayn's hand, "C'mon, you can sit with me - Hey what's in that?" she asks with wide eyes, watching as Zayn slings his black guitar case off his shoulders and leaves it standing carefully against the wall.

"That's my guitar," he tells her, sitting where she tells him to, "Her name's Perrie." Mack's eyes light up and Liam groans inwardly. He knows exactly what's coming.

"Ooh," she says excitedly, "Uncle Niall's got one too. His is all colorful and pretty and he named her Mackenzie after me," she tells him proudly, "He keeps telling me he'll teach me how to play but the guitar's too big for me," she frowns, and then brightens again, "Will you play for us after dinner?"

Zayn looks up at Liam cautiously from across the table and then back at Mack.

"Um, I dunno Mack," he says carefully, "I'm not sure that - "

"Stay," Liam interrupts, resigned, because Louis and Harry and his Mum are shooting him not so subtle glares. "If you want to, I mean," he adds quickly, in case Zayn was looking for an excuse to leave. He hears Louis rolls his eyes.

"I'd love to," Zayn says, smiling again, "If it's alright with you."

Liam nods reluctantly, sealing the fate of what he's sure is going to be an uncomfortable night.

He's wrong, surprisingly enough. Dinner's spent asking Harry questions about his semester abroad in France while Mack and Zayn whisper in hushed voices from their corner of the table. When Mack isn't monopolizing his attention, Harry and Zayn get on immediately, sharing ideas about the Lourve and the importance of contemporary art. Or something.

Liam does his best to ignore the way his daughter's treating Zayn like they've been best friends for ages. It surprises him because she's usually more careful around new people, but for Zayn she has a constant stream of chatter. He lets her feed him off her plate and tug at his shirt and seems genuinely interested in all she has to say. Not that Liam's paying attention. He nods along at what his mum says and laughs at Louis' jokes and makes sure Mack eats her vegetables and it's normal enough. And if sometimes his eyes catch on the way Zayn throws his head back to laugh, his hand covering where Mack's latches onto his sleeve, well, he's only human, ok.

After dinner they settle in the small family room, Liam and his mum on the couch, Louis and Harry tangled up in each other on the floor, Zayn on the chair with his guitar in his lap and Mack leaning against his knee. He's about to start playing when Niall comes in, circles under his eyes and weariness around his smile.

"You were supposed to be back ages ago," Karen says from where she's sitting with her eyes half closed and her cold toes tucked under Liam. Liam reaches down and massages her calves gently and she hums, "What kept you?"

Niall wraps arms around Liam from behind, leans down to rest his forehead on the top of Liam's head.

"Remember Amy?" he mumbles finally, "Her cousin was shot. East side gang. Drove her to the hospital. He's gonna be fine, but - " he slumps further into Liam and Liam wraps arms around his, grips him tightly. From the corner of his eye, he notices the way Zayn stiffens slightly. Liam frowns, but he can't think of a way to reassure him without embarrassing him. He tries to catch Zayn's eye but Zayn is looking down stubbornly, as if trying to hide in plain sight.

Finally Niall looks up, blinking wearily.

"Sorry," he says, "It's been a long night. "

"S'alright, Ni," Liam tells him, "Don't be silly."

"I'll see about making her a pie, honey," Karen says softly, "You can take it to work tomorrow."

"Thanks Mrs. P," Niall says gratefully.

"Don't be sad, Uncle Niall," Mack says then. "We have company."

Niall perks up almost immediately when he sees Zayn and his guitar, eyes brightening.

"Niall Horan," he says, "That's a thing of beauty."

"Zayn Malik," Zayn responds, caution back in his voice, "Thanks. Hear yours is too."

"Oh yeah?" he grins down at Mack, "You been bragging again?" he asks her. She giggles and nods, "Brat," he teases fondly, ruffling up her hair.

"Am not," she sticks her tongue out at him, "Zayn was gonna play for us," she tells him importantly.

"Is that so. Hey would it be alright if I brought Mackenzie out?" he asks her, looking to Zayn, who nods at him with a smile. Niall’s got a way of putting everyone around him at ease that Zayn apparently is not immune to. Mack claps her hands together happily.

"You guys can play duets together," she says.

"Niall," chides Liam's mum, "You haven't eaten anything. I saved you a plate - "

"Thanks Karen," he says gratefully, "I'll grab it after, yeah? This'll only take a minute." He bounds excitedly into his room to grab his guitar and Liam, Harry and Louis all roll their eyes at each other. Niall'll play for hours if people let him.

Niall is so obviously in awe of Zayn, Liam wants to laugh. After his first song he turns to Liam with wide eyes.

"Where'd you find him, Li?" he asks him. They all laugh, including Zayn, who's watching the exchange closely.

"Playing on the corner of Canary," Liam says, looking at Zayn and grinning almost proudly, "He was saying he was never gonna play again before he met me."

Niall looks scandalized.

"Never play again, bloody -"

"Niall!" Karen scolds and Niall clamps a hand over his mouth just in time.

"Sorry Mack," he says, eyes twinkling, "Anyway. Please tell me you were gonna bring him in to me."

"I um - " Liam stammers, looking first at Zayn, then at Mack by his feet, then around at the rest of his family. He hadn't realized what Zayn being here tonight could mean. They like him already, is the thing. Liam can tell. The lads do and Mack does and Liam - well.

This wasn't what he had wanted to happen but if Niall thinks Zayn has a chance at this then. Liam's damn well not gonna stop him, even if that means Zayn sticks around awhile, settles further into Liam and his world.

"Liam?" Louis prods gently. Liam blinks back into focus to find that Zayn's looking down at his hands. He doesn't look at Liam but he speaks up before Liam can put his thoughts together.

"Do you want to hear another?" he asks quietly.

"Yes," Niall replies adamantly, as the rest of the group settles in for it, "Let's hear what you've got."

He makes Zayn play for a half hour. He'd brought his guitar out but he hardly touches it now, leaning on the edge of his chair and urging Zayn to play song after song. Occasionally he strums a harmony or hums a descant but for the most part he just sits and listens. They all do, silently, even Mack. Liam can't help but feel proud of her.

"All original songs huh?" Niall says finally, sitting back after the set and chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully.

Zayn nods.

"What does that mean Zayn?" Mack asks with wide eyes. She's still sitting at Zayn's feet and Zayn looks down, tugs at a curl.

"Means I wrote them," he says with a shrug.

"Oh," is all she says, looking at Zayn like he's some kind of magic. Liam thinks maybe she has the right idea.

Zayn huffs an embarrassed laugh, looks down at his guitar.

"Damn," Harry says after a moment, "Well Ni? What do you think?"

"Well, you've got talent, that's for damn sure. You got a CD or something?"

Zayn shakes his head.

"A band?"

Zayn shakes his head again.

"Money?" Niall asks, laughing when Harry swats at him.

"No, not really - wait. What is going on?" Zayn asks, confusion in the furrow of his brow.

Liam is stuck between wanting to laugh at him and wanting to rescue him but Niall's already started talking again.

"Alright well, I can at least pull some studio time for you, put together an EP. Simon'll want to hear it first, he's always got the final say, you see, but - What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing but - "

"You all?" Niall ignores him, asks the group.

"I'm free," Harry proclaims enthusiastically, leaning back so that Louis can settle against his chest more comfortably.

"I've got work until five," Liam offers. Zayn turns to stare at him and Liam just shoots him a weak smile.

"I can watch the shop after that, Lou," Liam's mum speaks up, "Mack can help me, isn't that right baby girl?"

She nods, grinning and Liam winks at her.

"We can rehearse in the back room by the piano," Louis's nodding slowly, "Get four or five good songs down. You've got as many right Zayn?"

"Sorry, but, um, what is going on here?" Zayn blurts out, looking around wildly at everyone, "Studio time? Rehearsals?"

Niall's laughing with his hands against his stomach.

"God, Mum, we should come with a warning label shouldn't we?" he says between chuckles and Liam's mom smiles warmly.

"Too right," she says, picking herself up off the couch slowly. "Alright you lot, I'm done in. I'm off to bed. Don't let them bully you too much, Zayn darling. And you eat that plate of food I left for you, yeah?" she says sternly to Niall who nods warmly at her. "Mack, baby, time for bed sweetie." She picks the small girl up, running a hand carefully through her curls, "Say goodnight?"

"Goodnight everyone," she mumbles sleepily, "Goodnight Daddy."

There's a chorus of Goodnight Mum and Goodnight Mack as they leave and then a silence.

"Listen," Louis says gently, "Why don't you put that away and come sit on the couch for a bit, make yourself comfortable, yeah? Let's talk."

Zayn nods, twisting in his chair to set his guitar down in the case behind him. He settles himself on the other end of the couch, tucking his feet up so they very carefully do not brush against Liam's thigh.

Liam shifts, suddenly restless.

"I work for a production company," Niall is saying."We're small, but it'd be a start for you. If you want. I can sign you up for some studio time and - "

"For - For free?" Zayn stammers out disbelievingly.

"Yeah," Niall grins, "Boss trusts me a bit. Granted, we'll have to do like, weird evening hours and all that but. It'll be time. And you can record a demo that we can get to Simon. If he likes it, well. We'll go from there."

"Does that sound okay to you, Zayn?" Harry asks him quietly.

"We can help you out too," Niall speaks up, "Louis's great on bass and Liam plays piano and Harry sings pretty amazingly himself. And I can do guitar if need be."

"I - " Zayn stammers, "I don't know what to say. I mean, that sounds amazing. Like, incredible. But - " he looks at Liam anxiously, "You'd want to do that? For me?"

Liam considers him. It's not exactly a torture he would have chosen for himself but -

"You make beautiful music, Zayn," Liam tells him honestly, "Of course we want to be a part of that."

Zayn blushes and Liam can tell he's entirely unconvinced, and Liam wants to feed him sense with his tongue and that is a desire that knocks the wind out of Liam.

He jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder, looks up to find Louis and Harry hovering over them and Niall packing up across the room.

"We're gonna head out ok?" Louis says quietly, "You alright?"

Liam nods.

"Yeah, yeah goodnight. Welcome home, Harry."

Harry smiles warmly at him.

"It was good to meet you, Zayn," he says, keeping his voice low, "We'll see you tomorrow."

Zayn nods.

"You too."

When they've let themselves out and Niall's trudged his way back to his room, it's just the two of them left in the brightly lit family room, desperately fighting sleep. And Liam does not think about what'd it be like to have Zayn like this every night. Because he's only known Zayn about five minutes, and he's only here to get his music recorded. That's all.

"Liam - " Zayn starts, but Liam shakes his head.

"I should check on Mack," he says without looking at him, getting up quickly.

Mack is fast asleep when Liam enters her room softly, the light from her nightlight casting her features in a soft glow. Her hair lays spread in disarray against the pillow and in one hand she clutches her new Spiderman still in his box.

Liam shakes his head.

"I love you baby. Sweet dreams," he whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He shuts the door behind him and slumps against it for a moment, lets the exhaustion press against him, turn his limbs heavy and his bones to jelly.

He wonders if Zayn is waiting for him still. Allows himself, just for this moment, to wonder about what it would be like to just kiss the breath out of that boy, take what he wants. He hasn't been with anyone really since Mack's mother because it's just. It's complicated and messy and Liam cares too much about Mack to let someone waltz into her life and then leave her again.

Besides, having a kid at eighteen doesn't exactly make him a very eligible bachelor.

He sighs, forces himself to move back to the lounge where he finds Zayn standing with his back to him, hands running along their mantlepiece with their myriad of frames.

"Is this her mother?" Zayn asks quietly, turning and handing Liam a small photo. In it is a picture of Danielle holding Mack in her arms and Liam behind her looking exhausted but happy. It's the only picture they've got of Danielle. She disappeared shortly after that. Left him a note.

He nods.

"We keep it for Mack. I want her to know her mother, you know? Even though I hardly did."

"Where is she now?"

Liam shrugs.

"Fuck if I know. It was. I don't know. I was eighteen and she was seventeen and we were both young and invincible until we weren't. I never really loved her," he tells Zayn, "But I love Mack," he says fiercely, daring Zayn to disagree.

Zayn takes a step closer.

"I know, Li," he says soothingly, taking the frame from him and replacing it on the mantle. "Here," he says, fishing into his pocket for something. He pulls out the small black box he had waved at Liam yesterday. "Never got a chance to give you this."

Liam breathes out.

"You fixed it?" he asks. Zayn opens it and Liam can't even feel stupid for the way his heart skips a beat at the moving hands.

"Course I did. Fix anything can't I?" Zayn teases. Liam rolls his eyes a little helplessly, taking the watch and slipping it around his wrist.

"How much do I owe you?" he asks, looking up to find that Zayn is startlingly close. He sucks in a breath.

"Paid me in music didn't you?" Zayn tells him, "Besides, I should be thanking you. This is. It's a dream come true," he breathes, "All of it," he adds after a moment, gaze dropping to Liam's lips.

"Zayn I - " Liam tries, transfixed by the way Zayn's tongue swipes against his bottom lip.

"Please?" Zayn begs, in a voice that is more air than anything. "Li, I still want this. You're. Mack doesn't change anything, okay? Please - "

But Liam is already stepping away.

"I can't," he says a little desperately, "I'm sorry. I - "

"Tell me you don't want to," Zayn demands.

Liam doesn't say anything. He won't lie.

At his silence, Zayn takes a step back, blinking.

"Oh," he says, "Okay."

Liam looks up at him, surprised.

"Okay? That's it?"

Zayn shrugs.

"Yeah, I mean. I understand. You're a good dad and you want to make sure I won't walk out on Mack. You don't trust me, yet," he shrugs again, taps the watch on Liam's wrist, "I'm going to fix that."

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