(no subject)
[whining]
So I didn't really expect to be posting again so soon, but I really feel a need to vent. I just called my Grandma to tell her about my engagement... it all went okay, until I mentioned that we were planning the wedding for the summer.
"Oh... Lucy. Are you sure?"
Okay, so there are potentially much worse reactions. But it was more her tone of voice that made me feel bad - it wasn't disappointed so much as a sort of "I thought you were smarter... oh well."
She told me that she was happy for me, but concerned as to whether or not I'm making the right decision. I can understand that - before I became a Christian, I couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to marry young, either (don't get me wrong, we're not marrying simply for the sex - we love each other and know that we're right for each other and share similar values in life, and we know that we would get married one day, almost inevitably - but we are marrying now for the sex). But then again, I was a more judgmental person then than I am now.
I guess I just wish people would give me the benefit of the doubt. High expectations, I know, but it seems to have gone very well in most respects: my friends are all freaking out (in a good way), Christopher's friends are all calmly supportive and happy for us (but then most of them are Christian, too, so I guess they understand), my mum has been great about it ("Don't let anyone else tell you what to do with your life, Lucy - I'm sure you know what you're doing"), and dad has been his fairly passive self.
But I suppose it's easier for me to focus on the negative reactions than the positive. As much as I hate to admit it, what other people think of me does matter to me, and probably more than it should. I know I'm not making a mistake, Chris knows we're not making a mistake, but the young-marriage stigma is biasing the viewpoint of certain others, and whenever one person reacts negatively, it makes me wonder if everyone else is just donning a well-wishing facade. I'd hate to think that I'm going to be walking down the aisle amid friends and family members who are all thinking "She's being naive, it'll never work.'
Ugh. I'm looking forward to the wedding in many respects. Abi - a sort of e-friend who I have met but got to know properly online - will be there, which is awesome; Collette - a good friend from long ago who I've fallen slightly out fo touch with - will be there too; and of course I'll see all my other friends, plus a lot of the extended family who I don't see often at all. And most importantly, it'll be a celebration of mine and Christohper's love, and ... what's the word?... I can't think of it, but what I mean to say is that it will officiate our relationship, make it real - legally, I mean.
And, of course, there'll be the honeymoon.
But I find it hard to deal with people looking down on me, despite the fact that I'm almost certain - definitely as certain as I'd be in any situation like this, no matter what age I was - that they're wrong, and I'm doing the right thing. I guess I should just get past others' disapproval. Chris has - he's dealing with any negativity really well, whereas I'm sat here whining on an e-journal.
At a risk of sounding lame for referencing Twilight, I can relate to Bella in Breaking Dawn (is it breaking Dawn? Maybe Eclipse...), in that I want to get married because i want to progress in my relationship (physically, rather than emotionally - we love each other plenty enough as it is), but... marriage is not cool among teens - where I'm from, at least - unless you enjoy being thought of as brainless and foolish. It bothers me.
[/whining]
In other news, today Chris and I met up with the guys who we'll hopefully be sharing a house with next year, and apparently we'll be viewing some houses on Wednesday. Well, I'll just be seeing the one, since I'll hopefully be volunteering at the animal shelter in the morning (if they take me back after my unexplained absence :/), but it should be interesting anyway - I'm really looking forward to living with people I actually get on with. Not that I dislike my current flatmates - they're all nice, and the one girl I had an actual disagreement with has moved out this semester - but whilst I'm in to Harry Potter and... I don't know, playing pool in pubs on a night out, they're into Heat magazine and clubbing. To clarify: they're cool kids, and I'm a bit of a geek :)
Anyway. I guess i have work to do. Sorry for such a morose entry - I'll be more upbeat next time, honest ;)
So I didn't really expect to be posting again so soon, but I really feel a need to vent. I just called my Grandma to tell her about my engagement... it all went okay, until I mentioned that we were planning the wedding for the summer.
"Oh... Lucy. Are you sure?"
Okay, so there are potentially much worse reactions. But it was more her tone of voice that made me feel bad - it wasn't disappointed so much as a sort of "I thought you were smarter... oh well."
She told me that she was happy for me, but concerned as to whether or not I'm making the right decision. I can understand that - before I became a Christian, I couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to marry young, either (don't get me wrong, we're not marrying simply for the sex - we love each other and know that we're right for each other and share similar values in life, and we know that we would get married one day, almost inevitably - but we are marrying now for the sex). But then again, I was a more judgmental person then than I am now.
I guess I just wish people would give me the benefit of the doubt. High expectations, I know, but it seems to have gone very well in most respects: my friends are all freaking out (in a good way), Christopher's friends are all calmly supportive and happy for us (but then most of them are Christian, too, so I guess they understand), my mum has been great about it ("Don't let anyone else tell you what to do with your life, Lucy - I'm sure you know what you're doing"), and dad has been his fairly passive self.
But I suppose it's easier for me to focus on the negative reactions than the positive. As much as I hate to admit it, what other people think of me does matter to me, and probably more than it should. I know I'm not making a mistake, Chris knows we're not making a mistake, but the young-marriage stigma is biasing the viewpoint of certain others, and whenever one person reacts negatively, it makes me wonder if everyone else is just donning a well-wishing facade. I'd hate to think that I'm going to be walking down the aisle amid friends and family members who are all thinking "She's being naive, it'll never work.'
Ugh. I'm looking forward to the wedding in many respects. Abi - a sort of e-friend who I have met but got to know properly online - will be there, which is awesome; Collette - a good friend from long ago who I've fallen slightly out fo touch with - will be there too; and of course I'll see all my other friends, plus a lot of the extended family who I don't see often at all. And most importantly, it'll be a celebration of mine and Christohper's love, and ... what's the word?... I can't think of it, but what I mean to say is that it will officiate our relationship, make it real - legally, I mean.
And, of course, there'll be the honeymoon.
But I find it hard to deal with people looking down on me, despite the fact that I'm almost certain - definitely as certain as I'd be in any situation like this, no matter what age I was - that they're wrong, and I'm doing the right thing. I guess I should just get past others' disapproval. Chris has - he's dealing with any negativity really well, whereas I'm sat here whining on an e-journal.
At a risk of sounding lame for referencing Twilight, I can relate to Bella in Breaking Dawn (is it breaking Dawn? Maybe Eclipse...), in that I want to get married because i want to progress in my relationship (physically, rather than emotionally - we love each other plenty enough as it is), but... marriage is not cool among teens - where I'm from, at least - unless you enjoy being thought of as brainless and foolish. It bothers me.
[/whining]
In other news, today Chris and I met up with the guys who we'll hopefully be sharing a house with next year, and apparently we'll be viewing some houses on Wednesday. Well, I'll just be seeing the one, since I'll hopefully be volunteering at the animal shelter in the morning (if they take me back after my unexplained absence :/), but it should be interesting anyway - I'm really looking forward to living with people I actually get on with. Not that I dislike my current flatmates - they're all nice, and the one girl I had an actual disagreement with has moved out this semester - but whilst I'm in to Harry Potter and... I don't know, playing pool in pubs on a night out, they're into Heat magazine and clubbing. To clarify: they're cool kids, and I'm a bit of a geek :)
Anyway. I guess i have work to do. Sorry for such a morose entry - I'll be more upbeat next time, honest ;)