Now these memories fill my heart, they bury me
About 20 mins. ago I found a lil shoe box in my closet. I opened it which I now wish I didnt. In it waws some pictures, some report cards, and a lot of cards. Most of the cards were from my dad. That fucking son of a bitch. God so many fucking memories came back to me. Memories of him never fucking being there and a few weeks ago I found out why. He is such a fucking son of bitch. God and than about 2 weeks ago I found 2 letters from my mom shit. One 2 the skool saying that I am leaving Holy Trinity. The other was a letter to me saying sorry for sending me away. Saying that she is trying to control her anger and is praying that she will understand me and be there and love me. God its just so fucked up how life is. Both of my parents were never there for me. My mom was always popping despresion pills and they would make her sleepy and she would always be sleeping. And than in NY when I lived with my dad he was never home. I remember at nights trying to stay up and waiting for him to come home but, I could never stay up that late. The best days would be when in the morning I would wake up and look around the house for him in NY and he wouldn't be there. And than I would get a call from him from jail saying that he isnt coming home today, but not to worry. he'll be home soon. God I wish my memories could be erased. Staying up late at night thinking about this from the past isnt very fun. Fuck the holidays! There always the worst part of the year for me.