Father's Day Chapter 4: Goodbyes
Title: Father's Day Chapter 4: Goodbyes
Rating: G
Wordcount: 3023
Summary:
"I don't understand..." Brian said. "Who you are...I just don't-"
"You don't have to. He did." River smiled and squeezed Brian's hand.
SPOILERS THROUGH "THE ANGELS TAKE MANHATTAN"
A/N: Once again, I must give credit to the lovely Sablemerle and Allyrien, whose comments to Chapter 3 started the plot bunnies rolling again. Every time I add to this fic I’m certain it’s the last chapter, and every time I get a new idea almost as soon as I hit “publish.” That said, after the events of “The Angels Take Manhattan” I’m fairly certain this will be it.
Chapter Three: http://snubnosedsil.livejournal.com/4390.html#cutid1
Chapter Two: http://snubnosedsil.livejournal.com/3796.html
Chapter One: http://snubnosedsil.livejournal.com/3443.html
Father’s Day Chapter 4: Goodbyes
Of course it was raining.
River stood outside the blue door and closed her umbrella. She wanted to feel the rain in her hair, wanted it to hide the tears she knew were imminent.
They weren’t there.
It was Father’s Day, and for the first time since she had met her parents as Mels, she wasn’t going to see her dad. River hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye before Rory had vanished, and now she wasn’t ever going to see him again.
River considered letting herself inside. She had a key, after all, and the rain was coming down quite hard now. The thought of going inside to that quiet, empty house filled her with such crushing loneliness that her breath came short.
No, going inside wasn’t an option.
For a moment her hand hovered over her vortex manipulator. She could go anywhere in the universe at any point in history - if she chose not to deal with this right now, she didn’t have to.
But where would she go? There wasn’t a single place or time she could run to that would take away the ache in her hearts.
And then it hit her. She wasn’t the only one who was grieving today. There was someone else for whom Father’s Day was never going to be the same, and if she wasn’t going to deal with her own pain she could possibly help him deal with his. If he let her.
Opening up her umbrella, River once again took refuge from the rain. There would come a day soon when she would allow herself to drown in her sorrows for a bit. Today was not that day.
***
Her first thought was that Brian looked terrible. Her second was that she was surprised he didn’t slam the door in her face when he realized who she was.
“It’s River, isn’t it? River…Song?” he squinted as he searched his memory for her name, and River’s breath caught again as she saw Rory’s own confused expression reflected in his father’s face. Suddenly she wasn’t so sure that this had been a good idea.
“Yes. How…how are you, Brian?”
“I’m - well - I am. That’s about all I can be at the moment, I suppose.” He attempted a smile, and then realized that she was still standing in the rain. “Beg pardon, please come in. You must be freezing.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, shaking out her umbrella before walking carefully inside. She’d been in the house many times before, back when she, Rory, and Amy were children. Back then the entryway had always been full of a mixture of tennis shoes on the floor, crayon drawings taped to the walls, and an improbable number of coats for the few people who lived inside. The clutter had been a cheerful, if chaotic, reminder that this was a family home. Now it seemed bare and dreary, with fresh paint and a solitary raincoat hung on the row of pegs next to the door.
He held out his hands for her coat, and she felt a bit better seeing it next to his. Two was better than one on a day like today.
“Would you like some tea?” he asked, clearly perking up now and showing more energy than she would have thought possible a few minutes earlier.
“Love some,” she replied, and followed him into the kitchen.
***
An awkward silence fell after Brian settled down across from River at the kitchen table, tea in hand. Clearly, neither one of them wanted to be the first to mention Rory and Amy.
“I thought-” he began just as she said, “So, I was wondering-“
They both laughed tensely. “Please, ladies first,” said Brian, gesturing for her to go ahead with her thought.
“Sorry, I was just going to say that I was in the neighborhood and wanted to know how you were doing. Today…well, I know it can’t be an easy day for you.”
Brian smiled, but it didn’t come close to reaching his eyes. “I was going to say that I thought you’d be with the Doctor today. Don’t see that you’d have much reason to come back here after…” he trailed off. “Is he meeting you nearby, then?”
River shook her head slowly. “No. I don’t think he knows I’m here. We… well, we don’t always travel together. I’m not sure what Rory told you about us,” she stopped, suddenly aware that she’d broken the unspoken rule of this conversation: don’t say either of their names aloud.
If Brian minded, he didn’t let on. “He did say something once about how you didn’t always meet one another in order. That he always had to be careful what he said to you because he couldn’t always be sure his memories matched yours - that you hadn’t always experienced the same things he had.” He shook his head. “Bit beyond my depth, I’m afraid.”
“No, that pretty much sums it up,” she said. “I have met you before, though. Last year on Father’s Day. We played golf.”
Brian’s eyes lit up. “You hit that amazing shot on the fifth hole - I’ve never seen anyone come in four under par on that one. Bragged about you for months to my friends, you know.”
River smiled then, a real smile. Brian had told his friends about her, almost like he was telling a story about, well, about his granddaughter.
She supposed that she could tell him who she was now. None of them had ever said anything about her real identity to Brian before, more out of consideration for Amy’s still-conflicted feelings on that particular intersection of her real life and her Doctor life (River had always fallen into the latter category, which was a dicey subject in and of itself) than out of concern that he couldn’t deal with the truth. Amy wasn’t coming back, though.
She could tell him, but almost immediately River knew that she wouldn’t. Bad enough that Brian had lost a son and daughter-in-law. Some might have seen it as gaining a granddaughter, but River suspected that the grief of missing so many years of her life (plus the inevitable questions about why he’d never known about Amy’s pregnancy, where River had been all those years, and where she was living now) would outweigh the joy he’d feel at the news.
“That’s actually why I’m here today,” River said, deciding to confront the issue head-on. “I know this is probably not a very pleasant day for you, and I thought we might go somewhere to take your mind off of things.”
Brian’s brow furrowed. “It’s a bit damp for a game, but the course is probably open. I could call-“
River shook her head. “Actually, I had something a bit drier in mind.”
***
River and Brian stood on the top of a hill overlooking a vast desert valley. All around them, teams of archaeologists were excavating an ancient Tynerian city, once home to the most powerful ruler the planet had ever seen. Well, at least at this point in history.
“So we’re actually on another planet in another time?” Brian asked, wonder filling his eyes as they raked across the landscape. “I’ve been in space before, but this…this is incredible!”
River grinned. She’d had a feeling he would enjoy this kind of adventure.
“Are you sure we’re not intruding?” he asked, glancing around at the experts who were starting to look at them with some interest.
“I certainly hope not - it’s my dig,” she said, not bothering to conceal her pride. She’d been the assistant leader on any number of excavations in the past, but this was her first major dig as the lead archaeologist.
A man in a dusty brown jacket and wide-brimmed hat walked purposefully toward them, a smile on his face as he recognized River. “Professor Song! Thought you’d gotten tired of the dirt and bad food and gone on holiday!”
She laughed, “Hardly, Nathan. I just took a quick trip to pick up a friend. Thought I’d show him the site.”
“Nathan Maxwell,” the man proffered a hand to Brian. “I’m one of Professor Song’s students.”
“Brian Williams,” he replied, shaking the hand briskly. “I’m - Brian.” He glanced uncertainly at River before plunging ahead. “Looks like quite a large operation you have going here.”
Nathan nodded enthusiastically. “Twelve major civic buildings and twice as many residences uncovered so far. We’ll probably be back here for the next three or four seasons just cataloging it all.”
Brian shook his head. “Incredible.”
“Thank you, Nathan. I’m going to give Brian the tour, if you don’t mind. Please let Professor Glaxius know that I’m back.”
She placed a hand at the small of Brian’s back and gestured toward the far end of the site. “This way, Brian.”
***
River pointed out various spots that she thought Brian would find interesting while they walked through a series of tents shading small teams of workers who were slowly uncovering the buried city. Before long, though, they left the excavation zone and headed out into the open desert. They walked for several minutes more in companionable silence, Brian twisting his head this way and that in an effort to see absolutely everything. The walk wasn’t a short one, however, and the silence grew heavier and heavier as they moved further away from the others. River wondered if she should say something, but decided to let Brian take the lead. She wasn’t expecting what came out of his mouth as they crested the top of the hillside and started down toward a small depression in the landscape.
“Why today? Why Father’s Day?”
River froze.
“You’re a lovely woman, and I can see why you and my son became quite attached to one another, but last year you mentioned that you always visited him on Father’s Day? Bit of an odd tradition, that, for two people who were just traveling companions.”
He knew who she was. River had no idea how he knew, but she was suddenly utterly convinced that he did.
“Oh, look,” she stopped abruptly. “Here we are.”
“Where?”
“Where we dig.” River pulled two handheld shovels from her shoulder bag and offered one to Brian.
“No need - have my own, actually,” he smiled, pulling his trowel from a jacket pocket.
***
Two hours later, they had discarded the trowels and exchanged them for soft brushes with which they carefully swept debris from the blue and gold mosaic they had begun to uncover. River paused periodically to paint a clear liquid over each tile as they were slowly revealed (“To preserve the pigment” she explained). The work wasn’t difficult so much as engrossing, and as she and Brian carefully uncovered something no one had seen for at least a millennium, River found herself feeling more at peace than she had since before Manhattan.
“Rory never told me you were an archaeologist,” Brian said abruptly. “And a professor?”
“It’s still fairly new,” she explained, pausing to brush away dust from another few square inches of tile. “Not the archaeology bit, but…it took me awhile to get back into academia after I graduated.”
“Oh?” he asked in that leading, fatherly way she remembered so well from her childhood.
She paused. How much to divulge? What would Rory have wanted her to say?
The thought made her hearts twinge painfully. She remembered Rory’s deer-in-the-headlights look when he realized that she and Brian were going to spend the day together last year. She’d done it on purpose, of course, selfishly wanting to “meet” her grandfather as an adult. Really, she’d just wanted him to meet her. She hadn’t counted on the look of true fear that had crossed her father’s face as he contemplated the ways in which the day could go horribly, horribly wrong.
It hadn’t, though. It had been wonderful, and she had no regrets, particularly as it had been her last Father’s Day with him. Not that she’d known it at the time.
“River?” Brian asked, concerned at how long she was taking to respond.
“Yes, sorry - woolgathering. Ah, well, it’s a bit difficult to land university appointments when you’re traveling with the Doctor. His lifestyle doesn’t exactly make one known for reliability.”
Brian nodded sadly. “Rory and Amy - they only had regular careers those last couple of years.” He suddenly became fascinated by the dirt at his feet, and River watched as two tears splashed in the dust next to his boots.
“Brian - do you know what happened to them?” She was fairly certain he knew. The Doctor had promised he was going to visit and tell him in person. River had left him at that point, unable to face her grief-stricken grandfather.
“Yes, the Doctor came. He…” Brian trailed off, sniffed loudly, and wiped a handkerchief across his face. “He told me they had been displaced in time. In America. Thought they’d gone back over a hundred years, but he couldn’t be sure. He said…” again, a pause, and she saw tears well in his eyes. “He said they were together. That Rory was taken, and Amy chose to go with him. She - she didn’t want my boy to be alone.” At that he started to sob, and so did River.
Neither one had gotten the chance to say goodbye.
***
Hours later, feeling a catharsis none of the breakdowns she’d had over her parents’ fate had given her in the weeks and months since she’d lost them, River and Brian arrived back in Leadworth.
The rain had stopped.
“Will you come in?” he asked. His tone was slightly hopeful, but she could see in his eyes that he wanted to be alone.
“No, thank you. I really should get back to my dig. Brian - there was something I wanted to ask you earlier.”
“Yes?” his brow furrowed.
“Did the Doctor tell you…did he tell you about the book? My book?”
Brian shook his head. “You wrote a book? Congratulations.” He clearly didn’t see what any of this had to do with him or Rory.
“It’s not just any book. It’s…well, it’s a book about what happened to Rory and Amy. I had to write it now so they could find it then, and, well, it’s complicated.”
Brian’s expression had turned wary.
“In any case, I’ve written it, and now I just need to get to the correct time zone to send it to Amy so she can have it published.” She knew the question he was going to ask next, and didn’t relish the answer she was going to have to give.
“But, if you can send her a book, can’t you just go to both of them and-“ his eyes lit up with the kind of hope she knew he hadn’t felt in months.
“No. I’m so sorry, Brian, but it doesn’t work that way. Just to get the manuscript to Amy I have to circumvent a time lock on both of them. I send it to a contact I have to make at the mailroom of publishing house where she works. They’ll send it to her assistant, who will give it to her. In no way can I interact with either of them directly.” River held out her diary to Brian. It was open to one of the very last blank pages. “I’m going to ask her to write a note to the Doctor - something for him to read when they’re gone. And I thought, while I was doing that, I might include something from you as well. That is, if you like.”
Brian stood there for a moment, stunned. Then he slowly nodded and held out his hand for the diary. “Can I have a few minutes?”
“Take all the time you need,” she reassured him.
***
Brian took longer than a few minutes.
They’d moved into house, and he bent over the blue book, painstakingly crafting every word, clearly struggling to say everything he ever wanted to tell his only son in just a few brief lines.
Finally, though, he was finished. River marked the page, more for Brian’s benefit than her own, and held out her hand to shake his goodbye. Instead, she found herself pulled into the warmest, fiercest, most desperate hug she’d ever felt. She hugged back just as strongly. They weren’t only embracing one another, they were holding on to Rory. This was as close to a final farewell with him as either of them would ever get.
“I don’t understand…” Brian began when they finally released one another. “Who you are… I just don’t-“
“You don’t have to. He did.” River smiled, and squeezed Brian’s hand. “Goodbye. I’ll see you next year.”
***
Afterward
Dear Dad,
We didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, and now that I sit down to write this note to you, I find that I have no desire to do so. Instead, I think I’ll choose to once again avoid the subject. Call it ‘spoilers’ if you like.
I am a happy woman - happy in the knowledge that I had the chance to know you and Amy so well and for so long, happy in the life I have chosen for myself, and happy in the knowledge that my future awaits.
I’ve seen your dad - he’s coping. I promise to continue visiting him for as long as I’m able.
Please give Mum a kiss for me. Tell her I’m taking care of the Doctor, but that she should have known better than to tell me to be a good girl. Let her know that I’ve stayed out of prison - so far.
Happy Father’s Day.
Love Always,
Your Daughter
Rating: G
Wordcount: 3023
Summary:
"I don't understand..." Brian said. "Who you are...I just don't-"
"You don't have to. He did." River smiled and squeezed Brian's hand.
SPOILERS THROUGH "THE ANGELS TAKE MANHATTAN"
A/N: Once again, I must give credit to the lovely Sablemerle and Allyrien, whose comments to Chapter 3 started the plot bunnies rolling again. Every time I add to this fic I’m certain it’s the last chapter, and every time I get a new idea almost as soon as I hit “publish.” That said, after the events of “The Angels Take Manhattan” I’m fairly certain this will be it.
Chapter Three: http://snubnosedsil.livejournal.com/4390.html#cutid1
Chapter Two: http://snubnosedsil.livejournal.com/3796.html
Chapter One: http://snubnosedsil.livejournal.com/3443.html
Father’s Day Chapter 4: Goodbyes
Of course it was raining.
River stood outside the blue door and closed her umbrella. She wanted to feel the rain in her hair, wanted it to hide the tears she knew were imminent.
They weren’t there.
It was Father’s Day, and for the first time since she had met her parents as Mels, she wasn’t going to see her dad. River hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye before Rory had vanished, and now she wasn’t ever going to see him again.
River considered letting herself inside. She had a key, after all, and the rain was coming down quite hard now. The thought of going inside to that quiet, empty house filled her with such crushing loneliness that her breath came short.
No, going inside wasn’t an option.
For a moment her hand hovered over her vortex manipulator. She could go anywhere in the universe at any point in history - if she chose not to deal with this right now, she didn’t have to.
But where would she go? There wasn’t a single place or time she could run to that would take away the ache in her hearts.
And then it hit her. She wasn’t the only one who was grieving today. There was someone else for whom Father’s Day was never going to be the same, and if she wasn’t going to deal with her own pain she could possibly help him deal with his. If he let her.
Opening up her umbrella, River once again took refuge from the rain. There would come a day soon when she would allow herself to drown in her sorrows for a bit. Today was not that day.
***
Her first thought was that Brian looked terrible. Her second was that she was surprised he didn’t slam the door in her face when he realized who she was.
“It’s River, isn’t it? River…Song?” he squinted as he searched his memory for her name, and River’s breath caught again as she saw Rory’s own confused expression reflected in his father’s face. Suddenly she wasn’t so sure that this had been a good idea.
“Yes. How…how are you, Brian?”
“I’m - well - I am. That’s about all I can be at the moment, I suppose.” He attempted a smile, and then realized that she was still standing in the rain. “Beg pardon, please come in. You must be freezing.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, shaking out her umbrella before walking carefully inside. She’d been in the house many times before, back when she, Rory, and Amy were children. Back then the entryway had always been full of a mixture of tennis shoes on the floor, crayon drawings taped to the walls, and an improbable number of coats for the few people who lived inside. The clutter had been a cheerful, if chaotic, reminder that this was a family home. Now it seemed bare and dreary, with fresh paint and a solitary raincoat hung on the row of pegs next to the door.
He held out his hands for her coat, and she felt a bit better seeing it next to his. Two was better than one on a day like today.
“Would you like some tea?” he asked, clearly perking up now and showing more energy than she would have thought possible a few minutes earlier.
“Love some,” she replied, and followed him into the kitchen.
***
An awkward silence fell after Brian settled down across from River at the kitchen table, tea in hand. Clearly, neither one of them wanted to be the first to mention Rory and Amy.
“I thought-” he began just as she said, “So, I was wondering-“
They both laughed tensely. “Please, ladies first,” said Brian, gesturing for her to go ahead with her thought.
“Sorry, I was just going to say that I was in the neighborhood and wanted to know how you were doing. Today…well, I know it can’t be an easy day for you.”
Brian smiled, but it didn’t come close to reaching his eyes. “I was going to say that I thought you’d be with the Doctor today. Don’t see that you’d have much reason to come back here after…” he trailed off. “Is he meeting you nearby, then?”
River shook her head slowly. “No. I don’t think he knows I’m here. We… well, we don’t always travel together. I’m not sure what Rory told you about us,” she stopped, suddenly aware that she’d broken the unspoken rule of this conversation: don’t say either of their names aloud.
If Brian minded, he didn’t let on. “He did say something once about how you didn’t always meet one another in order. That he always had to be careful what he said to you because he couldn’t always be sure his memories matched yours - that you hadn’t always experienced the same things he had.” He shook his head. “Bit beyond my depth, I’m afraid.”
“No, that pretty much sums it up,” she said. “I have met you before, though. Last year on Father’s Day. We played golf.”
Brian’s eyes lit up. “You hit that amazing shot on the fifth hole - I’ve never seen anyone come in four under par on that one. Bragged about you for months to my friends, you know.”
River smiled then, a real smile. Brian had told his friends about her, almost like he was telling a story about, well, about his granddaughter.
She supposed that she could tell him who she was now. None of them had ever said anything about her real identity to Brian before, more out of consideration for Amy’s still-conflicted feelings on that particular intersection of her real life and her Doctor life (River had always fallen into the latter category, which was a dicey subject in and of itself) than out of concern that he couldn’t deal with the truth. Amy wasn’t coming back, though.
She could tell him, but almost immediately River knew that she wouldn’t. Bad enough that Brian had lost a son and daughter-in-law. Some might have seen it as gaining a granddaughter, but River suspected that the grief of missing so many years of her life (plus the inevitable questions about why he’d never known about Amy’s pregnancy, where River had been all those years, and where she was living now) would outweigh the joy he’d feel at the news.
“That’s actually why I’m here today,” River said, deciding to confront the issue head-on. “I know this is probably not a very pleasant day for you, and I thought we might go somewhere to take your mind off of things.”
Brian’s brow furrowed. “It’s a bit damp for a game, but the course is probably open. I could call-“
River shook her head. “Actually, I had something a bit drier in mind.”
***
River and Brian stood on the top of a hill overlooking a vast desert valley. All around them, teams of archaeologists were excavating an ancient Tynerian city, once home to the most powerful ruler the planet had ever seen. Well, at least at this point in history.
“So we’re actually on another planet in another time?” Brian asked, wonder filling his eyes as they raked across the landscape. “I’ve been in space before, but this…this is incredible!”
River grinned. She’d had a feeling he would enjoy this kind of adventure.
“Are you sure we’re not intruding?” he asked, glancing around at the experts who were starting to look at them with some interest.
“I certainly hope not - it’s my dig,” she said, not bothering to conceal her pride. She’d been the assistant leader on any number of excavations in the past, but this was her first major dig as the lead archaeologist.
A man in a dusty brown jacket and wide-brimmed hat walked purposefully toward them, a smile on his face as he recognized River. “Professor Song! Thought you’d gotten tired of the dirt and bad food and gone on holiday!”
She laughed, “Hardly, Nathan. I just took a quick trip to pick up a friend. Thought I’d show him the site.”
“Nathan Maxwell,” the man proffered a hand to Brian. “I’m one of Professor Song’s students.”
“Brian Williams,” he replied, shaking the hand briskly. “I’m - Brian.” He glanced uncertainly at River before plunging ahead. “Looks like quite a large operation you have going here.”
Nathan nodded enthusiastically. “Twelve major civic buildings and twice as many residences uncovered so far. We’ll probably be back here for the next three or four seasons just cataloging it all.”
Brian shook his head. “Incredible.”
“Thank you, Nathan. I’m going to give Brian the tour, if you don’t mind. Please let Professor Glaxius know that I’m back.”
She placed a hand at the small of Brian’s back and gestured toward the far end of the site. “This way, Brian.”
***
River pointed out various spots that she thought Brian would find interesting while they walked through a series of tents shading small teams of workers who were slowly uncovering the buried city. Before long, though, they left the excavation zone and headed out into the open desert. They walked for several minutes more in companionable silence, Brian twisting his head this way and that in an effort to see absolutely everything. The walk wasn’t a short one, however, and the silence grew heavier and heavier as they moved further away from the others. River wondered if she should say something, but decided to let Brian take the lead. She wasn’t expecting what came out of his mouth as they crested the top of the hillside and started down toward a small depression in the landscape.
“Why today? Why Father’s Day?”
River froze.
“You’re a lovely woman, and I can see why you and my son became quite attached to one another, but last year you mentioned that you always visited him on Father’s Day? Bit of an odd tradition, that, for two people who were just traveling companions.”
He knew who she was. River had no idea how he knew, but she was suddenly utterly convinced that he did.
“Oh, look,” she stopped abruptly. “Here we are.”
“Where?”
“Where we dig.” River pulled two handheld shovels from her shoulder bag and offered one to Brian.
“No need - have my own, actually,” he smiled, pulling his trowel from a jacket pocket.
***
Two hours later, they had discarded the trowels and exchanged them for soft brushes with which they carefully swept debris from the blue and gold mosaic they had begun to uncover. River paused periodically to paint a clear liquid over each tile as they were slowly revealed (“To preserve the pigment” she explained). The work wasn’t difficult so much as engrossing, and as she and Brian carefully uncovered something no one had seen for at least a millennium, River found herself feeling more at peace than she had since before Manhattan.
“Rory never told me you were an archaeologist,” Brian said abruptly. “And a professor?”
“It’s still fairly new,” she explained, pausing to brush away dust from another few square inches of tile. “Not the archaeology bit, but…it took me awhile to get back into academia after I graduated.”
“Oh?” he asked in that leading, fatherly way she remembered so well from her childhood.
She paused. How much to divulge? What would Rory have wanted her to say?
The thought made her hearts twinge painfully. She remembered Rory’s deer-in-the-headlights look when he realized that she and Brian were going to spend the day together last year. She’d done it on purpose, of course, selfishly wanting to “meet” her grandfather as an adult. Really, she’d just wanted him to meet her. She hadn’t counted on the look of true fear that had crossed her father’s face as he contemplated the ways in which the day could go horribly, horribly wrong.
It hadn’t, though. It had been wonderful, and she had no regrets, particularly as it had been her last Father’s Day with him. Not that she’d known it at the time.
“River?” Brian asked, concerned at how long she was taking to respond.
“Yes, sorry - woolgathering. Ah, well, it’s a bit difficult to land university appointments when you’re traveling with the Doctor. His lifestyle doesn’t exactly make one known for reliability.”
Brian nodded sadly. “Rory and Amy - they only had regular careers those last couple of years.” He suddenly became fascinated by the dirt at his feet, and River watched as two tears splashed in the dust next to his boots.
“Brian - do you know what happened to them?” She was fairly certain he knew. The Doctor had promised he was going to visit and tell him in person. River had left him at that point, unable to face her grief-stricken grandfather.
“Yes, the Doctor came. He…” Brian trailed off, sniffed loudly, and wiped a handkerchief across his face. “He told me they had been displaced in time. In America. Thought they’d gone back over a hundred years, but he couldn’t be sure. He said…” again, a pause, and she saw tears well in his eyes. “He said they were together. That Rory was taken, and Amy chose to go with him. She - she didn’t want my boy to be alone.” At that he started to sob, and so did River.
Neither one had gotten the chance to say goodbye.
***
Hours later, feeling a catharsis none of the breakdowns she’d had over her parents’ fate had given her in the weeks and months since she’d lost them, River and Brian arrived back in Leadworth.
The rain had stopped.
“Will you come in?” he asked. His tone was slightly hopeful, but she could see in his eyes that he wanted to be alone.
“No, thank you. I really should get back to my dig. Brian - there was something I wanted to ask you earlier.”
“Yes?” his brow furrowed.
“Did the Doctor tell you…did he tell you about the book? My book?”
Brian shook his head. “You wrote a book? Congratulations.” He clearly didn’t see what any of this had to do with him or Rory.
“It’s not just any book. It’s…well, it’s a book about what happened to Rory and Amy. I had to write it now so they could find it then, and, well, it’s complicated.”
Brian’s expression had turned wary.
“In any case, I’ve written it, and now I just need to get to the correct time zone to send it to Amy so she can have it published.” She knew the question he was going to ask next, and didn’t relish the answer she was going to have to give.
“But, if you can send her a book, can’t you just go to both of them and-“ his eyes lit up with the kind of hope she knew he hadn’t felt in months.
“No. I’m so sorry, Brian, but it doesn’t work that way. Just to get the manuscript to Amy I have to circumvent a time lock on both of them. I send it to a contact I have to make at the mailroom of publishing house where she works. They’ll send it to her assistant, who will give it to her. In no way can I interact with either of them directly.” River held out her diary to Brian. It was open to one of the very last blank pages. “I’m going to ask her to write a note to the Doctor - something for him to read when they’re gone. And I thought, while I was doing that, I might include something from you as well. That is, if you like.”
Brian stood there for a moment, stunned. Then he slowly nodded and held out his hand for the diary. “Can I have a few minutes?”
“Take all the time you need,” she reassured him.
***
Brian took longer than a few minutes.
They’d moved into house, and he bent over the blue book, painstakingly crafting every word, clearly struggling to say everything he ever wanted to tell his only son in just a few brief lines.
Finally, though, he was finished. River marked the page, more for Brian’s benefit than her own, and held out her hand to shake his goodbye. Instead, she found herself pulled into the warmest, fiercest, most desperate hug she’d ever felt. She hugged back just as strongly. They weren’t only embracing one another, they were holding on to Rory. This was as close to a final farewell with him as either of them would ever get.
“I don’t understand…” Brian began when they finally released one another. “Who you are… I just don’t-“
“You don’t have to. He did.” River smiled, and squeezed Brian’s hand. “Goodbye. I’ll see you next year.”
***
Afterward
Dear Dad,
We didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, and now that I sit down to write this note to you, I find that I have no desire to do so. Instead, I think I’ll choose to once again avoid the subject. Call it ‘spoilers’ if you like.
I am a happy woman - happy in the knowledge that I had the chance to know you and Amy so well and for so long, happy in the life I have chosen for myself, and happy in the knowledge that my future awaits.
I’ve seen your dad - he’s coping. I promise to continue visiting him for as long as I’m able.
Please give Mum a kiss for me. Tell her I’m taking care of the Doctor, but that she should have known better than to tell me to be a good girl. Let her know that I’ve stayed out of prison - so far.
Happy Father’s Day.
Love Always,
Your Daughter