Merry Christmas Eve
Well mi papa saw my Lj background..=/ he's very, well last night he was very pissed doesn't even come close to describing it so hmm he was just very disappointed in me which I hate so much. I ruin everything. He told my brothers and I that he's not even in the christmas spirit anymore, and I swear he had tears in his eyes this morning =(. I felt like I had ruined christmas last night, you couldn't believe how horrible I felt about being me and so I've made a decision! I'm no longer considering myself bisexual..=/ *sigh* You know why they say teenagers most-likely to commit suicide are homo/bisexuals? It's because their family or friend's don't accept them for who they are! I just wish I were accepted..=/, but I'd rather not be to have my father not disappointed in me anymore! I hated that look and all that anger he had towards me..gawsh last night was so stupid and it never should have happened, I shouldn't have happened..I remember in 8th grade the day I completely broke down, the day everything just came crashing down, well the night before there was this thing on ABC and it was like a gay parade party thingy and my dad accidently changed it to that and as soon as he saw that they were gay and lesbians he said "ugh fags & queers!" I was so hurt I couldn't believe he had said that. Never judge before you get to know someone right pop? Damn he's the most predjudice person I know. He's not racist, but damn is he prejudice! I hate it, I wish he could just have a more open mind to things, but it doesn't matter. I'm happy with Matt anyhow! Sometimes I think if I were a boy things would be different..=/, oh and today my mom got all pissy at me for canceling an appointment with my doctor for today, TODAY! of all friggin days today! She had told me it would be Jan. 3 not today, so when they called to tell me it was today, my dad told me it was for today and I told him that my mom never told me that so he said *69 them and change it , so I did. My brothers,dad,and I heard her tell me Jan.3! not Dec.24! So when she went to reschedule, my older brother was telling my dad how he thought my mom shouldn't be getting mad at me because she's the one who didn't tell me anything so how was I suppose to know?! It felt so good to know my older brother will stick up for me! =) 2005 is definately going to be different...