About that book I didn't read... x-posted everywhere
And probably won't...
I just, wanted to put some thoughts together now that - finally, may I add - the battle is over.
I realised, in the past weeks, something that I feel the need to pass on to fellow shippers.
I would have liked a H/Hr ending. I would have loved a H/Hr ending, would have loved to dance on top of Emerson’s imploded website and parade around the happiness of the pumpkin.
But luckily, I wasn’t expecting it. And the fantastic thing is that I realised this just on time. I realised I didn’t expect anything from JKR right on good time. And the privilege of having no emotional investment in what she chooses to write has allowed me the chance to see things in a particular way in which I couldn’t before.
I lose, we lose… and so what?
I have chosen to lose. I have chosen to lose because in the face of what has happened, I prefer to lose.
I have chosen to lose because I want to believe that love is the depth of the lifetime subtleties that are not shoved down your throat but which flow so beautifully and smoothly that you don’t notice them until they’ve managed to capture the sense of your living experience.
I chose to believe that love doesn’t have to be aggressive or deceitful or desperately mean. I chose to believe that love doesn’t have to be blind worshipping of the ground the other person walks on. I chose to believe that it’s almost indecent to let little girls into the belief that if they love Prince William since they first hear his name, they may get a chance to get him.
I chose to believe that little girls all over the world should not be induced into believing that when a man disrespects them, mistreats them, ignores them, and is emotionally and mentally abusing them, everything will be forgiven - and even accepted happily - because he claims to love them.
I chose to believe that knowledge and appreciation have to come before love and that teenage crushes from a distance are nowhere near the same thing.
I have chosen to lose. Because I can’t bear to win under those circumstances. I have chosen to believe that there is more. I want, very, very desperately, to keep believing, and no irresponsible, reckless, selfish - who claims to never be conscious about what kids learn from her writing -, author will make me change my mind.
Don’t stop believing.
Love has to be more pure and beautiful than denigrating bickering and teenage crushes. I believe it is, and is in that belief that I don’t give up on H/Hr. I don’t give up because I want to believe in the heroine.
I want to believe that beyond kicking ass, she will love herself enough to chose the man in her life who treats her with respect, love and gentleness as opposed to the one who so blatantly mistreats her. I want to trust the hero to recognise the difference between the fangirl blindness and the strength of years of surrendered love and dedication.
I refuse to swallow the fairy tale that is both so cruelly unreal and so deceitfully real.
Is unreal, because the fangirl never marries the Prince she doesn’t really know, and is yet real because many women are insecure enough to ignore the fact that they are victims of blatant aggression.
Fine I’ll lose! I’ll lose happily because for me, in my loss, the woman was smart and loved herself enough to stand up for herself, and the hero looked beyond the willingness of the fangirl who didn’t know him.
We spent years claiming it wasn’t about winning or losing… but it turns out, I think it was.
And in the end, against overwhelming evidence of the opposite, we actually won.
And while we're at it, if you'd like some affair!H/Hr fic... here's some ;)
After The End
I just, wanted to put some thoughts together now that - finally, may I add - the battle is over.
I realised, in the past weeks, something that I feel the need to pass on to fellow shippers.
I would have liked a H/Hr ending. I would have loved a H/Hr ending, would have loved to dance on top of Emerson’s imploded website and parade around the happiness of the pumpkin.
But luckily, I wasn’t expecting it. And the fantastic thing is that I realised this just on time. I realised I didn’t expect anything from JKR right on good time. And the privilege of having no emotional investment in what she chooses to write has allowed me the chance to see things in a particular way in which I couldn’t before.
I lose, we lose… and so what?
I have chosen to lose. I have chosen to lose because in the face of what has happened, I prefer to lose.
I have chosen to lose because I want to believe that love is the depth of the lifetime subtleties that are not shoved down your throat but which flow so beautifully and smoothly that you don’t notice them until they’ve managed to capture the sense of your living experience.
I chose to believe that love doesn’t have to be aggressive or deceitful or desperately mean. I chose to believe that love doesn’t have to be blind worshipping of the ground the other person walks on. I chose to believe that it’s almost indecent to let little girls into the belief that if they love Prince William since they first hear his name, they may get a chance to get him.
I chose to believe that little girls all over the world should not be induced into believing that when a man disrespects them, mistreats them, ignores them, and is emotionally and mentally abusing them, everything will be forgiven - and even accepted happily - because he claims to love them.
I chose to believe that knowledge and appreciation have to come before love and that teenage crushes from a distance are nowhere near the same thing.
I have chosen to lose. Because I can’t bear to win under those circumstances. I have chosen to believe that there is more. I want, very, very desperately, to keep believing, and no irresponsible, reckless, selfish - who claims to never be conscious about what kids learn from her writing -, author will make me change my mind.
Don’t stop believing.
Love has to be more pure and beautiful than denigrating bickering and teenage crushes. I believe it is, and is in that belief that I don’t give up on H/Hr. I don’t give up because I want to believe in the heroine.
I want to believe that beyond kicking ass, she will love herself enough to chose the man in her life who treats her with respect, love and gentleness as opposed to the one who so blatantly mistreats her. I want to trust the hero to recognise the difference between the fangirl blindness and the strength of years of surrendered love and dedication.
I refuse to swallow the fairy tale that is both so cruelly unreal and so deceitfully real.
Is unreal, because the fangirl never marries the Prince she doesn’t really know, and is yet real because many women are insecure enough to ignore the fact that they are victims of blatant aggression.
Fine I’ll lose! I’ll lose happily because for me, in my loss, the woman was smart and loved herself enough to stand up for herself, and the hero looked beyond the willingness of the fangirl who didn’t know him.
We spent years claiming it wasn’t about winning or losing… but it turns out, I think it was.
And in the end, against overwhelming evidence of the opposite, we actually won.
And while we're at it, if you'd like some affair!H/Hr fic... here's some ;)
After The End