If you no longer recognize the man in the mirror...
"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
-Tao of Pooh
I woke up feeling different today. Every once in a while, I get these little moments of possibility, where I get the urge to improve myself. Today was good; no warcrack, no stupid shit, just cleaning up, working out and getting homework done. It's amazing how much a clean room fixes things. Anyhow, I left the house last night feeling really down and came home much better. Geoff and I started a new event; the Meat Feat, where you eat something like a monster fatty burrito or a colossal burger at Shari's. Anyhow, I've noticed that I'm not the person that I want to be anymore. I think the saying goes something like "If the wind no longer calls to you, it is time to see if you've forgotten your name." This is largely what Lent can be about though. At least for me, it's an opportunity to repair myself, physically and mentally. I'm 15 pounds overweight and my shirts don't fit right; I've become mean and cold. I stopped being nice because I was bitter, but mostly it was because I'm afraid that I'll be taken advantage of and used again. I don't want to be anyone's tool, but that doesn't mean that I have to exist in such a spiteful state. It's not healthy and it's not who I want to be or the kind of man I was raised to be. So this year, I'm going to try to make myself a better person again. I can be strong without being cold and kind without being weak.
I'm done preaching, but I hope, and I think things are going to end up allright for all of us.
If I've not talked to you for a while, I'm sorry. I hope you're all doing well and are happy.