You Know You're From LA, When.....
--You're driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends.
--You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day.
--You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).
--You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
--You know to hold your breathe in the 3rd St Prominade elevators because it smells like a mixture of urine and lemons. (it's lemon lysol goddamnit!)
--You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
--You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.
--You've inadvertently learned Spanish.
--In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
--You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.
--You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the 10" mean. (ha!)
--If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
--You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
--When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
--You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Angel, Destiny, Sky, or Bliss
--You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
--You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll. (ha!)
--You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot. (haha!!)
--You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
--You think that Venice is a beach.
--You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
--You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing.
--You think Johnny Rocket's is an accurate depiction of a diner.
--You eat pineapple on pizza. (yum)
--You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.
--You classify new people you meet by their area code. An "818" girl..... just don't use any big words around em. Anyone from "323" or "213" is in a neighborhood you wouldn't want to be in at night. Best area code: "310."
--You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
--You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.
--Everyone you know has 3 phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail.....
--It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.
--You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep. (hahaha!!)
--You think you are better than the people who live "On the Other side of the the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason. (i must say, THIS side of the hill sucks)
--You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.
--Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street.
--You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."
--You have to yell at your bank teller through a 2 inch thick wall of plexi-glass.
--That last one goes for your local convienience store man, too.
--You personally know at least 5 people with agents.
--You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.
--You know what "In N Out" is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
--You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.
--You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
--You know who the "Day-O, Daaaayyyy-O" guy is at the prominade.
--You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.
--Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice.
--The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
--You really can never be too rich or too thin. (i beg to differ on the latter)
--The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
--The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session. (hahahaha!)
--You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."
--It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH" (i know! HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAA!)
--You call 911 and they put you on hold.
--The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.
--All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you cant drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?
--Bars card. For real.
--You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.
--You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day.
--You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).
--You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
--You know to hold your breathe in the 3rd St Prominade elevators because it smells like a mixture of urine and lemons. (it's lemon lysol goddamnit!)
--You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
--You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.
--You've inadvertently learned Spanish.
--In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
--You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.
--You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the 10" mean. (ha!)
--If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
--You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
--When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
--You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Angel, Destiny, Sky, or Bliss
--You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
--You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll. (ha!)
--You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot. (haha!!)
--You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
--You think that Venice is a beach.
--You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
--You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing.
--You think Johnny Rocket's is an accurate depiction of a diner.
--You eat pineapple on pizza. (yum)
--You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.
--You classify new people you meet by their area code. An "818" girl..... just don't use any big words around em. Anyone from "323" or "213" is in a neighborhood you wouldn't want to be in at night. Best area code: "310."
--You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
--You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.
--Everyone you know has 3 phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail.....
--It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.
--You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep. (hahaha!!)
--You think you are better than the people who live "On the Other side of the the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason. (i must say, THIS side of the hill sucks)
--You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.
--Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street.
--You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space."
--You have to yell at your bank teller through a 2 inch thick wall of plexi-glass.
--That last one goes for your local convienience store man, too.
--You personally know at least 5 people with agents.
--You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.
--You know what "In N Out" is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
--You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.
--You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
--You know who the "Day-O, Daaaayyyy-O" guy is at the prominade.
--You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.
--Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice.
--The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
--You really can never be too rich or too thin. (i beg to differ on the latter)
--The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
--The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session. (hahahaha!)
--You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."
--It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH" (i know! HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAA!)
--You call 911 and they put you on hold.
--The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.
--All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you cant drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?
--Bars card. For real.
--You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.