Life makes me emo.
This is probably a little too personal for the internet, but what the hell. No one reads this shit anyway.
So yeah, I've had a couple of shitty days. Actually, a week now.
I can't seem to pull myself out of my funk. I'm not miserable 24/7, but at the end of the day I always go to bed depressed and lonely.
I'm trapped in my house all day with no one to talk to except my father. Who is kind of an asshole. He never has a nice thing to say to my mom and he pretty much ignores me other than the occaisional idle comment. It looks like he's going to take off yet another one of my vacations (this makes four consecutive) because he paces around the house chain smoking and wondering why he can't pass his DOT physical. Since he's never fucking working, we never have any money. And truth be told, I just really don't like having him around. He's shit company.
I feel bad being so angry and/or sullen all the time for the sake of my mom. She hates her job, she's married to my dad, and then she has to deal with my constant foul mood. No one wins.
All the people I talk to at school, I don't think 'friends' is a fitting term anymore, are too busy for me. No calls, no emails, no instant messages. I don't have my lisence so I can't go anywhere on my own and I wouldn't have a car anyway. Essentially, I can't leave the house and there wouldn't be anywhere to go anyway.
I got a progress report from my Public Speaking teacher today. Which didn't help anything. She thinks I'm not giving my full effort. That is complete and utter nonsense. She's basing my performance in the class on my performance in other classes I've had with her. No, I'm not as good at speaking in public as I am at writing. It doesn't mean I'm not trying, it means I have strengths and weaknesses. I tried to explain this to my mother, but I can tell she didn't except it. Nothing I do will ever be good enough for anyone apparently.
I'm so damn lonely I can't even stand it.
So yeah, I've had a couple of shitty days. Actually, a week now.
I can't seem to pull myself out of my funk. I'm not miserable 24/7, but at the end of the day I always go to bed depressed and lonely.
I'm trapped in my house all day with no one to talk to except my father. Who is kind of an asshole. He never has a nice thing to say to my mom and he pretty much ignores me other than the occaisional idle comment. It looks like he's going to take off yet another one of my vacations (this makes four consecutive) because he paces around the house chain smoking and wondering why he can't pass his DOT physical. Since he's never fucking working, we never have any money. And truth be told, I just really don't like having him around. He's shit company.
I feel bad being so angry and/or sullen all the time for the sake of my mom. She hates her job, she's married to my dad, and then she has to deal with my constant foul mood. No one wins.
All the people I talk to at school, I don't think 'friends' is a fitting term anymore, are too busy for me. No calls, no emails, no instant messages. I don't have my lisence so I can't go anywhere on my own and I wouldn't have a car anyway. Essentially, I can't leave the house and there wouldn't be anywhere to go anyway.
I got a progress report from my Public Speaking teacher today. Which didn't help anything. She thinks I'm not giving my full effort. That is complete and utter nonsense. She's basing my performance in the class on my performance in other classes I've had with her. No, I'm not as good at speaking in public as I am at writing. It doesn't mean I'm not trying, it means I have strengths and weaknesses. I tried to explain this to my mother, but I can tell she didn't except it. Nothing I do will ever be good enough for anyone apparently.
I'm so damn lonely I can't even stand it.