late nite thinkin....
hrms... so 'm sittin here... and i was thinkin.. (scary i know ;) haha0 but i was.. and i realized that i dont' want one-nite stands.. i don't want friends with benefits.. i want something real. i want someone i connect with... someone i can be goofy w/ and just have a good time with.. its ironic that when i came out here, thats exactly what i DIDN"T want. i didn't want a relationship, i didn't want a boyfriend. and to a degree thats still true.. i want to be on my own. but at the same time i want that comfort of having someone there... perhaps its because i've been talking to david lately, and we've been saying "i love you" to each other alot more than we used to.. i do still love him- that will never change. but idk.. you know how they say "with absence the heart grows fonder"? i think thats definitely true. i miss him.. and as i talk to him i can sometimes see the old david that i used to be so much in love with come back.. idk. maybe 'm being retarded. who knows. maybe 'm just tired.. i have had one helluva day. but who knows.. still doesn't change teh fact that i miss someone being there... well, time is a wonderful thing. i've time yet to find someone (or better yet- that someone find ME ;) ) maybe i've already foudn it and don't even know it.. who knows.. but we'll see.