Fic: Prisoner of Love (6/?)

[snowin_you]

MASTERPOST / AO3



Chapter summary: After the Uriel incident, things take a drastic turn.

Additional chapter warnings: General PTSD

A/N: My heartfelt apologies this chapter took too long to update. Rest assured I will see it through, and if you're still reading this, you have my heart.

In case you've already forgotten, in the previous chapter, Cas was attacked by Uriel. Dean came to the rescue and they shared a kiss. :)

Special thanks to alittlewicked48 and phaelsafe who alpha and beta read this chapter respectively. Oh, and thank you to all of you who left your reviews. They were all very much appreciated!

~:~:~

Castiel lay awake in the dark. He didn't know what time it was, but now that the nightmare had woken him - again - he had no intention of going back to sleep. Lights from spotlights outside were beaming through the windows opposite his cell. The building had five floors, each with fifteen cells that housed two inmates, and it faced a high wall with windows wide enough to offer a glimpse of freedom. Whoever designed the place had a cruel sense of humor though; the inmates were separated from the windows by a gaping space. Any attempt to escape would end with a fatal fall. Castiel was on the first floor so he only really had to worry about bodies falling to the platform outside his cell and splashing blood through the metal bars.

Shuddering at the thought, Castiel pulled the thin blanket tighter around himself. He missed Dean. He missed Dean's warmth. He missed Dean's weight on him. He missed Dean's everything. That feeling was real, and it had always been so - he just hadn't been able to admit it until now.

And though it was real, he couldn't tell whether he really felt something for Dean or if he simply wanted Dean to chase away those nightmares. He had learned to live with them before, but he found it hard to accept them now that he had a taste of what it was like to be alive without them. Maybe that was why he craved his cure - namely, Dean - more than ever.

He had stood there in the dark beside Dean's bed often enough, trembling with terror from what his dreams had become. And Dean would sleep on, the rhythm of his breathing steady and serene, ignorant of Castiel's plight. In those shaky moments Castiel couldn't tell if fear or desire lured him to Dean, but he would eventually come to his senses and retreat back to the unsafe shadows, even more scared of his wavering feelings.

So that day when Dean had called him out in broad daylight to ask about his job, Castiel had flipped. A silent agreement had existed (or so it had seemed) between them: they wouldn't interact during the day - or, lately, at all - and then Dean had crossed that line. At such close proximity all Castiel had seen were the lucid lines of Dean's face, and he had wanted to crush their lips together. His attempt to calm the thumping pulse behind his ears had been in vain, and so Castiel had responded to Dean more harshly than he had intended. But it didn't matter as long as Dean had thought Cas was trembling with fury and not infatuation.

Perhaps he should've more carefully considered Chuck's words, but Castiel had been arrogant instead. What Dean had done to him was nothing compared to what those bastards had done. He still remembered the predatory look in their eyes that had projected nothing but lust and malice. They had laughed as they cornered and stripped and mercilessly abused him. He had been defenseless and pathetic, hoping someone would come to his rescue. When no one had, his hope had slipped away with each tear that rolled down his face.

Castiel knew it was clichéd, but he had seen the light, had his hope restored when Dean had come into sight. He never doubted - not even for a second - that Dean would join Uriel instead of saving him. What he doubted, however, was just when he had started to trust Dean this much.

"The boy is mine!"

That voice was still ringing in his ears. Such a declaration should've been intimidating, but to him it had sounded almost like a confession of love. Given the right circumstances, he would have blushed upon hearing it, but then Dean's rage had risen beyond boiling point, and it had become downright scary as his offender lay still in a pool of blood while Dean seemed oblivious to that fact and kept punching him. Uriel could have died if he had not stopped Dean.

Uriel had been sent to an outside hospital immediately after, and no one knew what had become of him. His sidekicks had been given two weeks in solitary while Dean and his men had been sentenced to three nights for 'causing chaos.'

Two more nights, Castiel chanted to himself. He had to endure it for two more nights and then he'd be free from this misery.

~:~:~

Castiel remained in bed for as long as he could. Knowing the prison guards would yank him out eventually, he got up and made his way to the canteen. He kept his head down and sat in the corner farthest away from the crowd but he didn't go unnoticed. Despite the invisible bubble that seemed to keep anyone from approaching him, Castiel could still hear the whispers, feel the stolen glances; he felt nauseated.

"Thought you'd never show up," Chuck remarked, appearing from out of nowhere and making Cas jump. His food tray was still full as he sat down across from Cas.

With the way his heart pounded in his ribcage, Castiel was unable to form any reply.

"How are you feeling?" the scrawny inmate asked, spooning a small portion of food into his mouth.

"Fine," Cas retorted. Stabbing at the sorry excuse for mashed potatoes, he wondered why he bothered taking the food if he didn't really feel like eating. There was a good chance he'd lost a few pounds since coming here, but that had to do with his lack of appetite - though the food really was awful. "I am fine. Why can't everyone just act normal?"

Chuck shrugged. He continued to unhurriedly eat his breakfast.

At the sight, Castiel narrowed his eyes. He was used to Dean's men keeping an eye on him but this was suffocating.

"You don't need to do this," Castiel said, rolling his fork mindlessly among his green peas.

"Do what?" Chuck asked.

"This," he gestured towards Chuck's plate which still held quite a lot of food. "You don't need to babysit me."

"Right." Chuck snorted. "And have Dean kill me when he gets out? Please."

Castiel shivered at the mention of the name but before he could respond, Gabriel appeared from out of the corner of his eye.

Horror gripped Castiel suddenly, and he gaped. "What have you been doing?"

"What?" Chuck asked, a questioning look upon his face.

"You and Dean and Gabriel. What kind of sick joke are you playing?" Castiel's face contorted with revulsion, and he gradually withdrew to the other end of the table, trembling. His voice faltered as he uttered, "You had Dean assault me just so you and Gabe could get near me?"

"Look, I can explain..." Chuck said, sliding along the table after Castiel. When the other man didn't respond, Chuck snapped his fingers a few times. "Castiel!"

Cas was jolted back only to find himself staring at the other inmate.

"We wanted to help you," Chuck continued.

"Help? How?" Castiel looked blank, his voice barely a whisper.

Chuck remained still, his mouth opening then closing as he thought. Several long seconds later, he sighed. "It's complicated."

"Try me," Castiel insisted.

"We wanted to prevent situations from happening like, you know, the one with Uriel," Chuck stammered, his hands waving about. Before Castiel could protest, Chuck pointed to another inmate. "See that guy over there?"

The man's torso was swathed in bandages, bruises visible along their edges. An orange scrub top was loosely draped across his shoulders.

"It was his turn to keep an eye on you when that happened."

A chill crept over Castiel. He hadn't realized there had been other victims. The other man looked like he had received worse treatment than Cas had. "Uriel did that to him?"

Chuck shook his head slightly. He let out a worried sigh before he said, "Let's just say he brought on himself."

It didn't make sense to Castiel. The guy was obviously one of Dean's if he was meant to keep Cas safe. If Uriel did not do that to him, then who-

"You mean Dean did that to him?" Castiel cried in disbelief.

"Prison 101, Castiel," Chuck stated calmly. "We live by a different set of rules from the outside world."

Castiel remained stumped. That inmate was injured not because he had been attacked, but because he had failed to keep watch on Cas?

"Ever play Jenga?" Chuck continued, ignoring the look of disbelief on Castiel's face. "Imagine each inmate here as woodblocks stacked on top of each other. Right now Dean is the one who keeps the vulnerable structure from falling."

"Then you come along," Chuck says, demonstrating with his hands. "But you're not a block; you're a... a crystal ball. How are you supposed to fit without causing the whole tower to collapse?"

Castiel frowned. "Why do you think I'm different?"

"I can see your soul, Castiel," Chuck said matter-of-factly. "Just like I can see Dean's and everyone's here."

Cas swallowed down a lump in his throat. He assured himself that there was no way Chuck could see his deepest secret.

"I don't care how you got in here but if you don't learn to stay out of trouble, other people are going to get hurt."

For whatever reason, Chuck was keeping things from him. It didn't make sense that Chuck wouldn't tell Cas, especially since everything seemed to revolve around him.

"Look," Chuck said with a small sigh. "Just so you know, Castiel, Dean is sorry about what he did to you. He really is."

Castiel thought of everything that had happened. His experience with Dean had been scary at first. It still was, though that was a different kind of fear. He was afraid of his true feelings for Dean; he was afraid to find out what Dean really felt for him. If nothing else he hoped Dean didn't regret it because Cas surely didn't.

"I know," Castiel gently replied before moving back to his tray. Breakfast would be over soon so he took a few bites. Chuck in turn gulped down his own food, and Castiel was thankful for the familiar sight.

~:~:~

Ducking his head to avoid everyone's eye contact, Castiel walked over to meet Gabriel at their usual spot during rec time. The shorter guy was sitting by himself on a bench, a lollipop stick rolling around between his lips.

"No class today," he said, taking the candy out as Castiel approached him.

"Shocking," Castiel murmured to himself. Everything was off today; that his self-defense class had also been cancelled shouldn't come as a surprise.

Before he could turn away, Gabriel stopped him.

"Sit," his teacher commanded. "It's my turn to keep watch on you. I'm not following you around."

Castiel rolled his eyes before dropping down next to the guy. This was just like living in a prison within a prison.

He was surprised, though, when Gabriel offered him candy. He unwrapped the package and took it into his mouth, watching as the other man let out a small sigh and gazed vacantly ahead.

"I'm sorry," Castiel mumbled. His teacher looked kind of lonely without his entourage beside him. Danny and Roy had also been given three nights in solitary for helping Cas out. Gabriel, however, had somehow managed to dodge the guards. "If there's anything I can do-"

"If you want to help me jerk off," Gabriel cut in. He sounded more bored than irritated. Castiel could only blink; again, he had no idea what he had missed.

"You think you're the only ones having sexy times here?" Gabriel snorted as Castiel's eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. "Only you could make that much noise. 'Dean, please,'" he mocked in high-pitched whines. "'Dean!'"

Flames built within Castiel from a mixture of fury and embarrassment, and he hissed, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you are not worthy of your king!" Gabriel snapped, one hand slapping against the bench they were sitting on, making Cas jump. "You know why my boys and I can keep the relationship? Because we don't require half the population here to make sure we don't get a dick shoved up our asses!"

"There were four people!" Castiel fired back. He was getting sick of people accusing him instead of the culprits. "Four! How do you think I could have defended myself?"

"Do you think the same thing would happen to Dean?" Gabriel said, taunting Cas to his face. "That if Dean was cornered by four people he would just suck everyone's dicks?"

Castiel trembled at the memories. He remembered how degrading it had felt to be on his knees, his dignity ripped away from him. While one dick was choking him, three others were being jerked, waiting for their turns to persecute him.

He felt like vomiting.

"It can't happen again," Castiel kept chanting to himself. It couldn't happen again. He had more than enough nightmares to deal with. Adding another would only push him to the brink of insanity.

"Cas, Cassie, hey, you with me?"

Until Gabriel shushed him, Castiel hadn't realized he'd been rocking. This couldn't be happening. His voice broke as he begged, "Help me."

~:~:~

The days passed by slowly, and Castiel recoiled from any form of human interaction. He was grateful that everyone kept their distance for whatever reason (except Chuck who stayed plastered to him like super glue), though that only served as a constant reminder of just how vulnerable he was. Sometimes his eyes would meet those obviously belonging to his bodyguards which would make him feel even more feeble.

Other than his class with Gabriel, Castiel only eagerly awaited Dean's return. He couldn't really feel safe unless he knew Dean was nearby. He would also very much like to continue from where they left off - the adrenaline fueled kiss they shared just before the guards hauled them away - though he was skeptical about whether Dean would feel the same way. Not knowing when Dean was to be released that day, he was surprised to find the other man already sitting on the top bunk after breakfast.

Castiel had been standing inside their cell for quite some time, but Dean seemed ignorant of his presence, even when the blare of the siren startled him and the metal bars slid shut. It shattered all his anticipation. Dean probably wanted to play their little silence game again, but he could not allow that to continue.

He finally mustered his courage. "Hello, Dean."

Dean set the book he'd been reading aside and casually propped himself up on his elbow. "Oh, hey, Cas."

Letting out the breath he had been holding, Cas asked, "How have you been?"

"I missed my bed," Dean replied, relaxing into a stretch and rolling back onto the mattress. Castiel was reminded of a cat and his heart fluttered at the thought.

"Look," Cas said, drawing Dean's attention back to him. Castiel dared to step closer, looking right into Dean's eyes as he continued, "Thank you for saving me, Dean."

"You're very welcome," Dean replied with a beautiful smile that seemed to make his freckles shimmer. Then, for a moment, Castiel thought Dean would touch him, ruffle his hair or cup his cheek, but his hope turned frail when his hand fell back to the bed.

Dean cleared his throat to break the awkward silence. "So, uh," he began. "You've been good?"

At the question, Castiel couldn't help but look down and toy with his fingers. "Yeah, I guess," he replied with a reluctant shrug. As good as he could be - he doubted anything could be called good here. "Chuck kept me company most of the time, and Gabriel has been very helpful."

Dean nodded grimly. "Good," he said more to himself than to Cas.

"Dean," Castiel said, looking up at Dean again. Dean met his gaze. "I'm sorry that you - everyone - had to go through so much trouble because of me. I want you to know that I really appreciate all that you've done, but you don't need to worry about me now. You can drop your guard since I'm excelling in my lessons with Gabriel."

It was not that he was confident with his defense techniques now (though he was determined to be able to take care of himself, eventually), he just didn't want other people to get hurt because of him.

"Yeah?" A lop-sided grin spread across Dean's face as he slid down from his bunk, his focus suddenly resembling that of a bird of prey. Castiel took a few uncertain steps back, but Dean followed. "Let's see, shall we?"

Suddenly, Dean seized Castiel by the shirt with both hands and threw him against the bars. Just as quickly, Castiel grabbed at Dean's shirt and slid down, throwing Dean off balance enough that he hit his head against the bars. Bashing Dean in the elbow knocked the strength from his hold, then Castiel attacked the other man's abdomen until he was loose. He stood, pushed Dean away and hurled himself after, intending to follow through with a kick to the crotch. At the last minute though, he realized what he was doing and broke off his attack. He landed full-force on Dean and they stumbled backwards, arms around each other until they hit the edge of the bunks.

"Whoa, easy, tiger," Dean said, his wide grin betraying the prominently perilous situation. "You're going to hurt baby Winchester?"

Castiel went red to his ears and he tried to catch his breath, although he'd say it was because of the fight and not because Dean's flushed face was only inches away.

"Sorry," he mumbled without the slightest hint of atonement; Castiel was too distracted by Dean's plump lips. Dean's arms still locked him in place with his back set against the bed's ladder, but Castiel had no intention of moving.

Dean chewed his lower lip in a way Cas could only interpret as seductively, and Castiel flicked his eyes to the man in front of him. Dean's hazel irises had turned deep green, and Castiel could say his sensibilities had been taken over by the demanding urges in his nether region.

He closed the space between them, nibbling on the luscious mouth that was too enticing to resist. He pressed himself into Dean, their tongues playing together as the kiss became heated. Castiel clasped his hands behind Dean's neck as desperate hands groped down his back, his hips-

"Ah! Fuck! Yes! That's it! Harder!"

They both stopped. Now they were facing each other but the voice was still audible, if not louder. Straining his ears, Castiel could hear uncanny cries, throaty moans, shaky breath and holy- was that the sound of skin slapping skin?

"What is that?" Castiel wondered out loud, his voice low and guttural.

Dean smirked amusedly. "I think Gabriel is giving us free porn," he replied with a wink.

Castiel groaned into Dean's shoulder. Didn't the guy say he didn't like making a show of it?

"Yes, baby! That's it right there! Give it to me! Faster!"

This must be what it was like when others had to listen to his noises. It was embarrassing. Then inmates from other cells began to catcall and heckle the porn-star couple. At least when Dean had him going he didn't shout out 'Harder, Dean, please, right there!'

Shit. The image was making his groin twitched dangerously, and Gabriel's noises weren't helping. Dean held him still, but Castiel swore he could feel Dean's muscles ripple.

"Yeah! That's it, boy! Ride me, my strong stallion! Breed me with your seed!"

Both he and Dean cracked up at the same time. Other people were making loud gagging sounds.

"Now that's a major turn off," Dean commented smugly, and Castiel couldn't agree more.

"I say we continue our show after lights out," Dean purred into his ear and Castiel felt himself blush in response. "What do you say?"

"If you wish, Dean," he replied with a smile, placing one quick kiss to Dean's lips. At least he would not be alone tonight. "But no show."

"Whatever you say, angel," Dean said with a cheerful grin.

Castiel stiffened at the nickname, but he brushed it away with a shake of his head.

~:~:~

That night Dean settled onto Cas' bed instead of his own, and leisurely they kissed resting side by side. Castiel would've been content, but he dreaded every passing minute since they both would doze off soon.

"Dean," he said, breaking the kiss to rub his thumb along Dean's stubble. His eyes met attentive green. "I want you to touch me."

When Dean pulled away Castiel couldn't read the look on his face; but then, he was being kissed again and gently pushed onto his back. Dean straddled his waist, pressing their bodies together as he nuzzled, then ravished the crook of Cas' neck.

Castiel writhed under Dean's weight, his neck straining as he arched into the touch. This was happening and he needed to feel it. He needed to feel the way Dean took over his body, mind, and soul - but his clothes were in the way.

He pushed at Dean until he could remove his top. Once gone, he pulled Dean down to his chest because he loved the way Dean breathed heat across his heart before sucking on his hard nipples. Dean trailed his kisses lower, and Castiel gasped then sighed in relief when his pants were shoved aside. A palm spread over his leaking head then wrapped around his hard cock, gently stroking it. Castiel moved his hips, desperate for a more satiating touch, but Dean held him down. It took all Castiel had not to knock Dean off with his knees when Dean nibbled at his thigh.

"Dean, please," he whimpered.

He could feel the moment Dean smirked into his skin but when lips wrapped around his erection, Castiel abruptly recoiled away from the touch. His back hit the metal at the head of the bed as memories flooded him, the memories of someone else's dick pushing to the back of his throat mingling with those of how he had thrust into Dean's mouth until he could no longer tell which was which. Castiel clutched at the sheet until his fingers ached but he couldn't stop himself from shaking.

"Hey, hey," Dean said gently. He climbed onto Cas' lap, and the weight pinning Cas to the mattress was steady and calming. When Dean forcefully unclasped Cas' fingers and entwined them with his own, he pampered Cas' ears with sweet nonsense, a soothing litany. Once Dean had a hold on him, he pulled Cas' hands above his head and then some, stretching Cas out until he was straining. Surprisingly, it did the trick.

Dean leaned in closer, ghosting warm breath and a soft touch over his lips until Cas' erratic heartbeat started to slow. Soon, Castiel surrendered his fear to Dean's hold and fell limp to the control. Licking at his lips brought a kiss from Dean, unhurried as though Dean could spend all the time in the world cherishing him.

When Castiel visibly relaxed, Dean let go of him. Cas slowly slid back down to the bed without breaking the kiss, his arms wrapping around Dean and pulling until they were once more kissing lazily.

After a long while Castiel pulled away slightly. Dean's lips were beautifully red and juicy.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, one finger picking at Dean's scrub top. Dean was still fully clothed while Castiel was completely naked. Dean pulled him in and hugged him tight.

"No need to apologize," Dean said, kissing the top of his head. "Better get you dressed before you fall asleep, huh?"

Dean moved to find Castiel's discarded clothes and Cas started to panic. No, no, it couldn't end like this. He'd rather be cut into pieces than have to replay his parents' death again.

I need you to help to me, Dean. Help me get away from those nightmares. Touch me. Take me. Anything you want. Just make them go away!

Castiel crawled on top of Dean, straddling him and rocking their hips together. "No, Dean," he cried pathetically. "I need you."

"Okay, okay, Cas. Cas!" Dean cried. When Castiel didn't stop, he placed both hands on Cas' hips, steadying them. "Okay," Dean said, only starting again when he had Castiel's attention, "but I need you to trust me on this. Do you trust me?"

Foolishly so, yes.

Castiel nodded.

"Say it," Dean commanded.

But Castiel was reluctant. Did he really know Dean? He knew Dean had saved him from Uriel and the gang, but perhaps Dean was just a possessive psycho-freak who didn't want to share Cas with anyone. Admittedly, he kind of appreciated not being tossed around. Being molested by one person was, of course, better than being assaulted by the entire prison population - if molested was the right word at all.

With no consent issues, Dean's touch might not be that bad. He might even crave them - those warm and protective gropes.

But saying it out loud was not easy; he'd end up either lying or admitting an unwelcome fact. Maybe he could convince himself that he did this because he had yet to prove the connection between Dean and his nightmares.

Softly and slowly, looking Dean in the eyes, he said, "I trust you."

"Okay," Dean said with a firm nod. "Now kiss me."

So Castiel leaned down and kissed Dean who welcomed it eagerly. Dean braced his arms against Cas' shoulder blades, pulling Cas in and pushing himself up, tightening the hug. The kiss evolved into something needy and desperate, and Castiel found himself frotting against Dean's growing erection. Dean raked his fingers along Cas' spine and Cas grunted into the kiss. He felt heat building up as Dean rubbed the small of his back, pressing their hips together and curving his palms down Cas' ass. Castiel couldn't help arching his back as he thrust his hips harder against Dean's.

Dean took advantage and threw Cas down on the bed, manhandling him until he was on his stomach. Cas didn't have time to panic as Dean draped himself over Cas, the full weight of Dean's body pressing him into the mattress, his painful, throbbing erection trapped against his stomach between them. Dean sucked the spot behind his ear - Cas knew Dean knew he loved it, and Cas couldn't help but mewl.

Castiel writhed as Dean trailed his way down and along the way found sensitive spots Cas never realized were there. He tried, within the tight space he was granted, to rub his leaking cock against the firm mattress and wriggle his ass against Dean's hips. His whole body was burning and Cas was desperate for something, anything to tamp down the fire.

"Dean, please," he begged, his voice no more than a pitiful sob. "Please."

Sitting up, Dean braced his back against the wall and pulled Cas between his wide-spread legs. Castiel leaned back until his head rested on Dean's shoulder. He could feel Dean's thick cock rubbing against the small of his back. Dean hugged him tight, his hands roaming over Cas' chest, squeezing his stomach, scrubbing along his lower thighs - touching anywhere but his pulsing and desperate-for-attention cock.

Castiel reached for it, but Dean batted his hand away.

"Why, Dean?" Cas asked, pressing himself further into Dean, one hand reached up to grab at Dean's hair. "I need-"

"You need my fingers, Cas?" Dean purred, nibbling at his earlobe. Cas quickly nodded and groaned. "Put 'em where you want 'em."

Castiel at once grabbed Dean's hands, placing one on his cock and one on his testicles. Dean gave them a gentle squeeze, eliciting a satisfying moan from Cas' lips.

"Keep your hands over mine," Dean whispered, but all Cas could hear was hot breath in his ear. He didn't remove his hands though, even when Dean quickened his pace.

Cas barely had the strength to control his body, let alone where his fingers were. When he felt the familiar build of tension, hands that had been simply placed over Dean's now pressed him on. Dean's rasping breath scattered the droplets of sweat that ran down Cas' back. A few hard pulls later, Castiel's muscles tensed up and he came, spilling hot over their hands. Dean milked out every last drop, smearing streams across Cas' belly and thigh.

Leaning back against Dean, Castiel drowned in the afterglow as the other man cleaned them up. Arms clasping around his waist, Dean placed a few kisses to Cas' sweaty hair.

Castiel could have fallen asleep right then, content in his post-orgasmic bliss, but he realized a problem remained. Dean was still hard - Cas could feel it against his back, reminding him of his own selfishness. Castiel had never been known to be rude, and he didn't want to change his reputation now.

Slowly, he turned toward Dean, kissing the corner of his mouth then finding his way in past the seam of his lips. He tentatively slid his hand under Dean's shirt to trace the toned muscles before sliding down to hook his trembling fingers into Dean's waistband. His hand was pulled away.

"Leave it, Cas," Dean said as he untangled their limbs. He fetched clean clothing from the shelf and helped Castiel get dressed.

Castiel was dumbfounded. What was supposed to be consensual sex had turned into a one-sided jerk off session. In a way he was relieved since he wasn't sure he was ready for full man-on-man sex, but he had believed - had trusted - that Dean wanted him too. That was now crumbling to pieces.

Dean positioned them until they were spooning each other with Dean hugging him from behind. "Goodnight, Cas," he said as he kissed the back of Cas' head. Castiel blinked into the darkness. He had wanted to cuddle, to feel warm and protected; but now, all he felt was empty and cold.

~:~:~