A responce to HER and her hurtful words
thats fine....
Be mad at me for not "defending" you.
Are you not strong enough to defend urself?
Be mad at me for not telling brendan to go fuck himself
Why should he, he was just being what he though was honest. He was being what he thought was good friend. He was being himself...
Be mad at me for "hating" you
Why shouldnt I? you broke my heart again and again and again and again every time you looked at me like you use to. Every time you touched me like you use to. Everytime you smiled at me like you use to. Every time you laughed like you use to. Every time you layed in my bed, on my couch, in my house like you use to. Every time I got into ur car, every time we ate sushi. Everytime I was with you I was thinking of another time, and I was crying inside.
Every time I saw you, it hurt. But I kept comming back for more because I DID want to be ur friend. I DID want to learn to love you, not as my girlfriend, but as my real friend. I DID want to be there for you. I DID want to be able to listen to you, and care about you, and not hurt inside. I did want to do all that, but it does take time you know. It takes time for all that pain and hate and anger and sadness to go away. It does take time for the fact that you dont want me anymore, that you dont love me anymore, that you dont need me anymore to sink in and be ok. All of that takes time on my part. And u promised to give it to me.
You promised to give me that time, you promised to understand that you hurt me, and that I needed time to heal and to get use to being ONLY your friend.
But instead you have done nothing but constantly use your friendship as a weapon. You have done nothing but threaten to leave me, to go away, to not be my friend anymore. And you know what, there was a time that I would have done EVERYTHING in my power to keep u in my life. But now, i find myself wondering if I need you
If I want you
If i love you
Finally I find myself not being under ur control.
I find myself wondering if maybe u have finally made the right choice. Maybe its time that you let me go. Maybe its time I let you go.
Maybe its time I get out of this sickness that we have created. You blew up because of something someone else said, something I had no control over, something I had nothing to do with. What kind of friend is that?? You blew up because one of my friends said something u didnt agree with. Something you felt was attacking you. Something he said to try and HELP me, something he said because he loves me as a friend.
Something he said because he knows what it feels like to hear the words, the words that float around inside my head forever and ever, amen. The words that echo, the words to burn my eyes even now to think of
"Im just not in love with you anymore"
he know how it kills a part of you to hear those words from someone ur still in love with. He knows how it feels to hear those words from someone u planned to spend the rest of ur life with. And he was trying to protect me, and he was trying to love me, and he was trying to be my FRIEND.
And im sorry if his words hurt you, and im sorry if what he said offended you. And im sorry if ur feelings got hurt or if your pride is aching these days. Im sorry if his use of "christ" offended you. Im sorry if his "dude" made you mad. But really is any of that worth all of this? Is any of that really a good reason to hate ME? Simple because you dont think I was a good friend beacuse I didnt yell at him for what he said?? He's what?? 22? Something like that. Hes a BIG BOY, i hold no power over him, and Im not his mommy or his girlfriend. I cant punish him. What do u want me to do?? Be like you and threaten to take my friendship away? Threaten to take my friendship away beacuse he did or said something I didnt agree with?
Now, thats NOT how you treat a friend....
its just not...
Be mad at me for not "defending" you.
Are you not strong enough to defend urself?
Be mad at me for not telling brendan to go fuck himself
Why should he, he was just being what he though was honest. He was being what he thought was good friend. He was being himself...
Be mad at me for "hating" you
Why shouldnt I? you broke my heart again and again and again and again every time you looked at me like you use to. Every time you touched me like you use to. Everytime you smiled at me like you use to. Every time you laughed like you use to. Every time you layed in my bed, on my couch, in my house like you use to. Every time I got into ur car, every time we ate sushi. Everytime I was with you I was thinking of another time, and I was crying inside.
Every time I saw you, it hurt. But I kept comming back for more because I DID want to be ur friend. I DID want to learn to love you, not as my girlfriend, but as my real friend. I DID want to be there for you. I DID want to be able to listen to you, and care about you, and not hurt inside. I did want to do all that, but it does take time you know. It takes time for all that pain and hate and anger and sadness to go away. It does take time for the fact that you dont want me anymore, that you dont love me anymore, that you dont need me anymore to sink in and be ok. All of that takes time on my part. And u promised to give it to me.
You promised to give me that time, you promised to understand that you hurt me, and that I needed time to heal and to get use to being ONLY your friend.
But instead you have done nothing but constantly use your friendship as a weapon. You have done nothing but threaten to leave me, to go away, to not be my friend anymore. And you know what, there was a time that I would have done EVERYTHING in my power to keep u in my life. But now, i find myself wondering if I need you
If I want you
If i love you
Finally I find myself not being under ur control.
I find myself wondering if maybe u have finally made the right choice. Maybe its time that you let me go. Maybe its time I let you go.
Maybe its time I get out of this sickness that we have created. You blew up because of something someone else said, something I had no control over, something I had nothing to do with. What kind of friend is that?? You blew up because one of my friends said something u didnt agree with. Something you felt was attacking you. Something he said to try and HELP me, something he said because he loves me as a friend.
Something he said because he knows what it feels like to hear the words, the words that float around inside my head forever and ever, amen. The words that echo, the words to burn my eyes even now to think of
"Im just not in love with you anymore"
he know how it kills a part of you to hear those words from someone ur still in love with. He knows how it feels to hear those words from someone u planned to spend the rest of ur life with. And he was trying to protect me, and he was trying to love me, and he was trying to be my FRIEND.
And im sorry if his words hurt you, and im sorry if what he said offended you. And im sorry if ur feelings got hurt or if your pride is aching these days. Im sorry if his use of "christ" offended you. Im sorry if his "dude" made you mad. But really is any of that worth all of this? Is any of that really a good reason to hate ME? Simple because you dont think I was a good friend beacuse I didnt yell at him for what he said?? He's what?? 22? Something like that. Hes a BIG BOY, i hold no power over him, and Im not his mommy or his girlfriend. I cant punish him. What do u want me to do?? Be like you and threaten to take my friendship away? Threaten to take my friendship away beacuse he did or said something I didnt agree with?
Now, thats NOT how you treat a friend....
its just not...