So it's come to this
Ok, fuck it. I've struggled with this situation for a couple of months now, and have tried turning to friends and my dad and have taken out a mini-loan, even, but I still haven't been able to dig myself out of all the costs acccrued by the new meds I've been on since the turn of the year. The trouble is, it's not covered by the Social Insurance Institute because it's so new, and then there are my other meds which they call "just supplements" and are never going to cover (even if it's a compounding pharmacy that makes them for me on prescription), so I end up having to pay hundreds of euros for them each month with no compensation. And whatever I have left over after rent goes entirely on bills, to the point where I have to ask my dad for food *every* day now. Today, I had to even ask him to get the cat's food, and he's not happy about it, as much as he loves the little bugger.
And I don't really know what I could do, now. My disability makes it impossible for me to know when I'll be in condition to write/draw/even walk, so regular work is out of the question--I can't fulfill even my own ideals when it comes to even fanfic writing (1000 words would be great, but not if I've only had four hours of sleep and/or hurt too much to sit up). But it's too depressing and anxiety-inducing to even make this post and I really do not want to have to start going into justifications over why I can't just "get a job" or whatever the usual response to this kind of thing is from people (particularly where I live). But if someone who doesn't know me comes here from elsewhere, tl;dr I'm bed-bound with extreme fatigue and pain daily and can barely drag myself up to sit up at the lappy to poke fannish things until I crash again. The meds only ameliorate it a little, and they aren't covered. (If any Finns are reading this, I *can,* in the comments, launch into a wonderful tale of how KELA is doing this and how they're calculating which meds are worthy of being compensated for. They just cut off a huge chunk of stuff they're willing to compensate for in the disabled benefits, including special diets and many legit treatments. And my municipality's disabled services are unwilling to pay full carer support, omaishoidon tuki, to my dad since we don't live under the same roof. Even if his help is the only way I can keep on living on my own since he brings me food and stuff.)
I thought of selling stuff, but I don't think I have any fannish crap that people would be that interested in, plus then there's that stupid thing where eBay puts your money on hold for 30 days if you're a new seller, and I need money before that.
So I can only offer... stickman doodles for donations if you want them, from fandoms I've been in, of characters you've seen me draw before. I would love to offer manips, but as those require pre-existing bodyshots and perfectly matching headshots (and I doubt anyone who's not a manipper will know all that's required for them to fit--source quality, lighting, etc.) and thousands, preferably tens or hundreds of thousands of body/headshots to choose from, it's unlikely I'd be able to make manips to order--I can't make them even for myself to match my own desires:P I really do wish I could offer *something,* which is why I'm wringing my hands here thinking about that stuff, but I don't want to get myself into a situation where I promise something and can't deliver. I've had that happen years ago and I don't want to be that person anymore.
But. Anyway. I really hate having to ask for this kind of stuff, but I've exhausted other possibilities. Hell, I can't even do the lottery anymore because it was taking up euros. If you have any suggestions of what you might want to commission and what might be easy for me to doodle or whatever, or maybe gifs you'd want to see or something, or dewatermark/restore a photo or something, I'm all ears.
But it boils down to this: I need something like 330-400 e by the end of the month to pay back the smallest possible increment of the loan I got to buy meds, to pay the bills and buy more meds, and that doesn't even cover food and kitty litter or what I owe Versaphile and my dad:P And I'll stop whining because this is stupidly embarrassing and painful already, so I'll just drop the PayPal buttons here.
Again, if you have any ideas of what you might want to commission, I'm all ears. But in any case, thanks in advance and a world of good karma your way.
And I don't really know what I could do, now. My disability makes it impossible for me to know when I'll be in condition to write/draw/even walk, so regular work is out of the question--I can't fulfill even my own ideals when it comes to even fanfic writing (1000 words would be great, but not if I've only had four hours of sleep and/or hurt too much to sit up). But it's too depressing and anxiety-inducing to even make this post and I really do not want to have to start going into justifications over why I can't just "get a job" or whatever the usual response to this kind of thing is from people (particularly where I live). But if someone who doesn't know me comes here from elsewhere, tl;dr I'm bed-bound with extreme fatigue and pain daily and can barely drag myself up to sit up at the lappy to poke fannish things until I crash again. The meds only ameliorate it a little, and they aren't covered. (If any Finns are reading this, I *can,* in the comments, launch into a wonderful tale of how KELA is doing this and how they're calculating which meds are worthy of being compensated for. They just cut off a huge chunk of stuff they're willing to compensate for in the disabled benefits, including special diets and many legit treatments. And my municipality's disabled services are unwilling to pay full carer support, omaishoidon tuki, to my dad since we don't live under the same roof. Even if his help is the only way I can keep on living on my own since he brings me food and stuff.)
I thought of selling stuff, but I don't think I have any fannish crap that people would be that interested in, plus then there's that stupid thing where eBay puts your money on hold for 30 days if you're a new seller, and I need money before that.
So I can only offer... stickman doodles for donations if you want them, from fandoms I've been in, of characters you've seen me draw before. I would love to offer manips, but as those require pre-existing bodyshots and perfectly matching headshots (and I doubt anyone who's not a manipper will know all that's required for them to fit--source quality, lighting, etc.) and thousands, preferably tens or hundreds of thousands of body/headshots to choose from, it's unlikely I'd be able to make manips to order--I can't make them even for myself to match my own desires:P I really do wish I could offer *something,* which is why I'm wringing my hands here thinking about that stuff, but I don't want to get myself into a situation where I promise something and can't deliver. I've had that happen years ago and I don't want to be that person anymore.
But. Anyway. I really hate having to ask for this kind of stuff, but I've exhausted other possibilities. Hell, I can't even do the lottery anymore because it was taking up euros. If you have any suggestions of what you might want to commission and what might be easy for me to doodle or whatever, or maybe gifs you'd want to see or something, or dewatermark/restore a photo or something, I'm all ears.
But it boils down to this: I need something like 330-400 e by the end of the month to pay back the smallest possible increment of the loan I got to buy meds, to pay the bills and buy more meds, and that doesn't even cover food and kitty litter or what I owe Versaphile and my dad:P And I'll stop whining because this is stupidly embarrassing and painful already, so I'll just drop the PayPal buttons here.
Again, if you have any ideas of what you might want to commission, I'm all ears. But in any case, thanks in advance and a world of good karma your way.