Still alive

[snowgrouse]

Just thought I'd check in and point out that yeah, I'm still alive, reached 36 today, somehow not dead yet. Feeling ill as usual, but shall see if I can still celebrate today--Casablanca's on the telly and I can never watch that too many times--and I don't know if I will be able to even touch that vodka I have stashed away somewhere because I'm

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[snowgrouse]

Awww, now you're making me all meepity .________. I think Kirsten was eleven, in fact, during filming. I remember taping some of the press interviews about it, and remember how everyone went on about her being envied by all the women in the world because she got to kiss Brad Pitt, and then she was just complaining about how dry Brad's lips were and Brad was rolling his eyes and going "oh, god, not again!" It was adorable.

One reason I'm sick to death of most modern vampires is that the sex is always sublimated into the vampirism and that it's always supposed to be better than sex, when it was a symbol for sex in the first place. And there's something about the way Rice in particular treats it that gives me hives in this sort of way that belittles sex. If you want to "upgrade" the experience of two people joining, I much prefer it when it's done through sex and telepathy at the same time, for instance--and I like those few rare vampires who *do* fuck at the same time as they do the blood transfusion thing. I can't even put my finger on it, but *somehow* the lack of sex with most vampires always pisses me off somewhere really deep inside of me. The easiest explanation for that is that yes, yes, I'm a really sexual person, and people who write that stuff probably think I'm a dumb animal for not being able to divorce the erotic from all these great spiritual-level experiences, but... well, actually, there you have it. It's this sort of lingering feel of prudishness and belittling of sex and placing it somewhere below the bloodsucking experience that just feels so deeply wrong to me on a deep bodily level that I always recoil from it. It's like the same old anti-sex crap from society and traditional religion just gets transferred into supernatural stuff and it's never been an easy fit with me. It kind of feels like a cheat somehow. As far as I'm concerned, Dracula fucking bones those chicks HARD as he sucks them and that's that.

Whoops, that turned into a rant, but that's my main problem with so many vampire things, TBH. I find it's much more interesting to find the extreme *through* some very human things rather than to try and rise *above* human things. So when I write Torsten/Laura doing fucked-up extreme kinks or Jaffar/Princess or Doctor/Master having a telepathic experience during sex, it's the familiar human experience enriched, made deeper, more intense, rather than cut off, sterilised and lifted into some frigid, cold, other realm, Outside. I just want to do the opposite and go as deep as possible and find the divine *within*--the difference between experiencing the Divine through immanence vs. transcendence.

And of course, now I'm thinking of what might have been, had Connie indeed got the role of Dracula as originally intended... x____x