I PASSED
FIRST COMMENT ON THE LAST CHAPTER OF DANCE AND I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT
I made the squicky kinks work in the context of the story! \o/ I have been fucking sitting here and worrying about it ever since I posted the last chapter, but IT FUCKING WORKED! \o/
Not sure if it would've been possible with anyone not played by Die Veidt, though. I know I keep going on about it, but I've never idolised anyone who's just so incredibly hypnotic and so overwhelming that he could make you not only do anything he said, but genuinely enjoy it and love it as if you'd always felt that way. And I don't just mean kinkwise. It sometimes does feel like in some timey-wimey way, he's just planted all those desires and ideas and visions in your head and then shows up and makes them blossom. And even if you are completely the opposite IRL, it's like the moment he comes in, it all makes sense and you will always have felt the way you do now. It's *not* like having a split personality at all, because there is no duality to it, no struggle; you don't even feel a transformation because how can you feel a transformation if you've always been a certain way? And then you come back to your normal consciousness and... nope. You still don't want babies even if you just entered the Princess's mind when she was pregnant with Jaffar's twins and Jaffar spooned her against himself in bed and you were crying your eyes out. This fetish and that fetish still turns your stomach in the waking world, even if you felt it so vividly just now.
Oh god, when I say it like that it sounds like the usual sort of getting emotionally involved with characters or feeling what they feel but it's... different. It's not like roleplaying or being in the headspace of a character; I don't know how to explain it. Perhaps because there is a sense of duality, a sense of difference to the character you are experiencing. But this is much deeper, probably something you feel under deepest hypnosis--when there is no difference, no difference at all between yourself and that person you now are in his presence. It's impossible to explain in ordinary terms, damn it.
I've never really had that with any fictional character/actor/idol/whatever. No, not even the Master. He's just... too much, sometimes. Just so overwhelming. The only parallels I can find are in mystical poetry, seriously. Those things about God opening your chest and finding some light that's always been there. Or losing yourself completely and then finding some unity with the Beloved. It really is advaita (absolute nonduality); there's no other word for it. ♥
And yeah, I'm still overwhelmed myself that I even wrote what I did, let alone being told I actually succeeded! It was like someone else was writing that. And I feel blessed and humbled and honoured that I have managed to pass on even a fraction of what this guy does to me on a spiritual-psychological-sexual level. If people can get even a small glimpse of it, experience it even for a few fleeting moments while reading my work, I know I will have served my patron deity right...
I made the squicky kinks work in the context of the story! \o/ I have been fucking sitting here and worrying about it ever since I posted the last chapter, but IT FUCKING WORKED! \o/
Not sure if it would've been possible with anyone not played by Die Veidt, though. I know I keep going on about it, but I've never idolised anyone who's just so incredibly hypnotic and so overwhelming that he could make you not only do anything he said, but genuinely enjoy it and love it as if you'd always felt that way. And I don't just mean kinkwise. It sometimes does feel like in some timey-wimey way, he's just planted all those desires and ideas and visions in your head and then shows up and makes them blossom. And even if you are completely the opposite IRL, it's like the moment he comes in, it all makes sense and you will always have felt the way you do now. It's *not* like having a split personality at all, because there is no duality to it, no struggle; you don't even feel a transformation because how can you feel a transformation if you've always been a certain way? And then you come back to your normal consciousness and... nope. You still don't want babies even if you just entered the Princess's mind when she was pregnant with Jaffar's twins and Jaffar spooned her against himself in bed and you were crying your eyes out. This fetish and that fetish still turns your stomach in the waking world, even if you felt it so vividly just now.
Oh god, when I say it like that it sounds like the usual sort of getting emotionally involved with characters or feeling what they feel but it's... different. It's not like roleplaying or being in the headspace of a character; I don't know how to explain it. Perhaps because there is a sense of duality, a sense of difference to the character you are experiencing. But this is much deeper, probably something you feel under deepest hypnosis--when there is no difference, no difference at all between yourself and that person you now are in his presence. It's impossible to explain in ordinary terms, damn it.
I've never really had that with any fictional character/actor/idol/whatever. No, not even the Master. He's just... too much, sometimes. Just so overwhelming. The only parallels I can find are in mystical poetry, seriously. Those things about God opening your chest and finding some light that's always been there. Or losing yourself completely and then finding some unity with the Beloved. It really is advaita (absolute nonduality); there's no other word for it. ♥
And yeah, I'm still overwhelmed myself that I even wrote what I did, let alone being told I actually succeeded! It was like someone else was writing that. And I feel blessed and humbled and honoured that I have managed to pass on even a fraction of what this guy does to me on a spiritual-psychological-sexual level. If people can get even a small glimpse of it, experience it even for a few fleeting moments while reading my work, I know I will have served my patron deity right...