This and that
-Can fandom please stop hating on het because it's so fucking 1990s? It used to be the red-headed stepchild of fandom, being written by housewives who could do nothing except churn out squicky heterosexist romance cliches, but we're well beyond that now. Times have changed. Slash has become so mainstream now that now it's just as full of godawful bullshit as het used to be. Slash is no longer subversive; it's no longer the intellectual alternative to hetero narratives. It used to be up until the 00s or something, but it really isn't after the internet exploded so much that now nearly all of female fandom is writing slash. Slash is just as shit now! And a lot of good fanfic writers have explored het and bi narratives anyway, after having realised they can be just as good if written well. So please don't come using het-hatin' icons at me or something. Even back in the day, I would write both slash and het because I wanted some lady bits in my fic, damn it--I'm a bisexual, not a misogynist and just because the patriarchal world we live in fucks up female sexuality, that's not an excuse for me to write only guy porn. The implications of that are really, really dodgy when you think about it--like fuck it's going to change anything about female sexual self-expression if the only acceptable way to do "dirty" stuff and explore free sexuality is through male bodies. Yeah, the world is still sexist as fuck and we still have the danger of getting pregnant and we are still sexually harassed and abused like fuck, but I want the freedom to explore female sexuality as well, thanks. I don't want to be pushed into a corner and told that if I don't write about dicks and dicks only I'm bad. It's just as bad as society telling me that pussies can't be awesome and wild as well. It comes across as "ew, pussies" and that's hella disturbing coming from women who are basically hating something they have between their own legs. It's all fine if you've got traumas and shit and really have had enough of the bullshit het brings with it IRL (so this is not dissing people who have good reasons to write only slash) , but I don't want to be pressured into thinking that het, in fiction, is inherently somehow evil. Because that's one of the few places where you can fix heterosexuality and not make it shit. I FUCKING NEED THAT, OKAY? You know what I mean? I'm really apathetic about hetero relationships IRL anyway, so at least let me fucking have that non-sucky het in fic. Thanks.
-There are times when I look at multi-language labels on packaging or websites in languages I don't understand and... sometimes it feels like I am so near to understanding them, on a brink of understanding them, that I feel as if someone came and flicked a switch in my head, I would suddenly understand all the languages in the world. I genuinely feel like it. And I think it's possible, it really is because we have a handful of people in the world who can speak dozens of languages--and I have a brain that's wired for similar things, so there is a possibility I could just download all European languages into my brain and become fluent in them soon enough. If I only had a little push. I wonder what sort of hormonal/neurotransmitter trigger that'd require. Something that mimicked that developmental phase kids have at a certain age that makes language acquisition easier? I mean, I learned fluent English in one fucking year when I was eight, just off the telly. It should be possible, right? I VOLUNTEER FOR THIS EXPERIMENT. INJECT ME WITH MASHED CHILD BRAINS.
-The Man is trying to fuck me up what with my home town's disability services being womanned by cunts. I won't go into details, but I could really use some supervillain help right now to put the fuckers in line and give me the assistance I'm legally entitled to. So I wouldn't, you know, starve to death or lie in my own filth for weeks or something, because that's a legit risk and there's fuck-all I can do about my disabilities. It's not fun to not be able to manage all by yourself; it sucks. But you try telling that to people who think Non-24 is just some psychological sleep problem related to depression and moping and poor sleep hygiene or something. *sigh* No it isn't, bitch, the inability to stay awake during daytime and being bent double under muscle pain is comparable to narcolepsy.
-Also feel more motivated to poke fic because I had a chance to read bits of it out loud to the maternal unit yesterday. There's so much porn that the bit I read wasn't a very long bit, but it helped the story come more alive and gave me more confidence. So that was good.
-And have something even cheerier: that moment you gif a heterosexual romantic scene that breaks your fucking heart...
...and then you realise you are staring at a guy with a hella queer finger ratio. :D (Although now I also read that it correlates with ADHD-type personalities and having a weak heart, both of which would also apply. Ouch.) Whatevz, I shall just bask here and think of THE GORGEOUS COSTUME PORN and all the lovely ways in which ze pwinzess can play both the wife and the pageboy to ol' bi Jaffar |-q
-There are times when I look at multi-language labels on packaging or websites in languages I don't understand and... sometimes it feels like I am so near to understanding them, on a brink of understanding them, that I feel as if someone came and flicked a switch in my head, I would suddenly understand all the languages in the world. I genuinely feel like it. And I think it's possible, it really is because we have a handful of people in the world who can speak dozens of languages--and I have a brain that's wired for similar things, so there is a possibility I could just download all European languages into my brain and become fluent in them soon enough. If I only had a little push. I wonder what sort of hormonal/neurotransmitter trigger that'd require. Something that mimicked that developmental phase kids have at a certain age that makes language acquisition easier? I mean, I learned fluent English in one fucking year when I was eight, just off the telly. It should be possible, right? I VOLUNTEER FOR THIS EXPERIMENT. INJECT ME WITH MASHED CHILD BRAINS.
-The Man is trying to fuck me up what with my home town's disability services being womanned by cunts. I won't go into details, but I could really use some supervillain help right now to put the fuckers in line and give me the assistance I'm legally entitled to. So I wouldn't, you know, starve to death or lie in my own filth for weeks or something, because that's a legit risk and there's fuck-all I can do about my disabilities. It's not fun to not be able to manage all by yourself; it sucks. But you try telling that to people who think Non-24 is just some psychological sleep problem related to depression and moping and poor sleep hygiene or something. *sigh* No it isn't, bitch, the inability to stay awake during daytime and being bent double under muscle pain is comparable to narcolepsy.
-Also feel more motivated to poke fic because I had a chance to read bits of it out loud to the maternal unit yesterday. There's so much porn that the bit I read wasn't a very long bit, but it helped the story come more alive and gave me more confidence. So that was good.
-And have something even cheerier: that moment you gif a heterosexual romantic scene that breaks your fucking heart...
...and then you realise you are staring at a guy with a hella queer finger ratio. :D (Although now I also read that it correlates with ADHD-type personalities and having a weak heart, both of which would also apply. Ouch.) Whatevz, I shall just bask here and think of THE GORGEOUS COSTUME PORN and all the lovely ways in which ze pwinzess can play both the wife and the pageboy to ol' bi Jaffar |-q