Fiiiiiic
-My current Jaffar/Princess fic has been satisfying to write, although tricky, because I've actually got an emotional plot going on. I am not good at moving people from place A to place B! But getting them together required a lot of work this time. It's going to be longer than Of Roses Unfurling, that's for sure, and I'm kind of frightening myself, as Of Roses Unfurling was the longest thing I'd ever written. I don't do plottyish longfic! I... I do 1000-word intense poetic angstsex! And I'm only really good at writing sex scenes and prose poetry. And guess what? I'm 14 576 words in and THEY HAVE NOT HAD SEX YET. I've just managed to take them to a point where they are getting the fuck over themselves and have managed to actually kiss, and they are finally about to shag in a bit, which is something at least. But the entire premise was that the Princess's marriage with Ahmad has failed totally and that Jaffar (who got exiled in this version) has been ill and she had crazy depression to recover from. So, basically, I've done like huge loads of hurt/comfort and only now they are at the sort of point where they can start doing the dirty. And I feel like I'm finally in my actual element. Why do characters have to keep doing things like this to me? Whyyyyy?
-Speaking of disturbing fanfic inspirations, I had this dream the other night where I saw Avon squatting over Blake's dead body like some incubus-like demon and he was gorging himself on Blake's entrails. Yeah. It was a nightmare Avon was having. Or maybe it was a nightmare Blake wa having. But it was insanely intense and, yes, well, nightmarish. I'm sure one of them might have had one of those at some point.
-Also, how the hell do you write characters who speak in a lofty manner? The language in Thief of Bagdad is so breathless and so romantic and poetic that it sounds OTT out of context and without the actors reciting it. And I mean, well, the Princess kind of sounds like she's high as fuck all the time *anyway*, even before Jaffar drugs her with the blue rose. And Connie was one of those actors who could make even the crappiest dialogue sound good and convincing *cough*Escape*cough*, so it's difficult to get that right in writing. Not that the dialogue in the movie is bad per se; I really love how poetic and escapist and fairytaley it is and how it's sprinkled with actual medieval Persian stuff. I mean, some of it sounds prettier than the 1001 Nights' tales themselves. So that makes it hard to approximate, especially in longer prose. I keep forgetting to use "for" instead of "because" and I constantly fear their dialogue will slip into something too modern or something too plain. And yet one has to avoid some of the cornier stuff in order to suspend disbelief. I was just patting myself on the back for not having used "loins" once. But I sure as hell have used metaphors and descriptions I never would in other fanfics. I kind of have to scrap everything I've learned about fanfic writing and start building from the ground up because this fandom has an entirely different language going on. I mean, this is a movie where the prince says he's come from beyond time and that he will stay forever, a movie where villain gushes about the princess in terms of actual medieval Persian poetry ("her eyes are Babylonian eyes... and her eyebrows like the crescent moon of Ramadan... her body as straight as the letter alif..." [sexface]), so you kind of have to roll with that. I mean, this really is Romantic medieval(ist) stuff right here.
-Speaking of medieval/Romantic behaviour and language: I may have mentioned this before, but the original Jaffar in the 1001 Nights CRIES ALL THE FUCKING TIME. So much that I was reading the tale about the three apples and I couldn't imagine Connie or the cartoon Jafar but was just visualising a tiny little John Simm in a turban weeping his squinty little eyes out. Ok, so a) the guy in the 1001 Nights is not actually a villain like he is in the movies and b) the caliph was threatening him with death all the time, so that makes sense, but it was kind of hilarious. So if I write Jaffar as weepy in my fics, that's actually a Thing and not something I'm just slapping on him. Just so you know. Just like when he's a supergenius and a polymath and a book nerd in my fics, it's a reference to the historical Ja'far ibn Yahya who was a supernerd.
-And now I'm off to write them finally fucking each other stupid. Oh yes. *rubs hands*
-Speaking of disturbing fanfic inspirations, I had this dream the other night where I saw Avon squatting over Blake's dead body like some incubus-like demon and he was gorging himself on Blake's entrails. Yeah. It was a nightmare Avon was having. Or maybe it was a nightmare Blake wa having. But it was insanely intense and, yes, well, nightmarish. I'm sure one of them might have had one of those at some point.
-Also, how the hell do you write characters who speak in a lofty manner? The language in Thief of Bagdad is so breathless and so romantic and poetic that it sounds OTT out of context and without the actors reciting it. And I mean, well, the Princess kind of sounds like she's high as fuck all the time *anyway*, even before Jaffar drugs her with the blue rose. And Connie was one of those actors who could make even the crappiest dialogue sound good and convincing *cough*Escape*cough*, so it's difficult to get that right in writing. Not that the dialogue in the movie is bad per se; I really love how poetic and escapist and fairytaley it is and how it's sprinkled with actual medieval Persian stuff. I mean, some of it sounds prettier than the 1001 Nights' tales themselves. So that makes it hard to approximate, especially in longer prose. I keep forgetting to use "for" instead of "because" and I constantly fear their dialogue will slip into something too modern or something too plain. And yet one has to avoid some of the cornier stuff in order to suspend disbelief. I was just patting myself on the back for not having used "loins" once. But I sure as hell have used metaphors and descriptions I never would in other fanfics. I kind of have to scrap everything I've learned about fanfic writing and start building from the ground up because this fandom has an entirely different language going on. I mean, this is a movie where the prince says he's come from beyond time and that he will stay forever, a movie where villain gushes about the princess in terms of actual medieval Persian poetry ("her eyes are Babylonian eyes... and her eyebrows like the crescent moon of Ramadan... her body as straight as the letter alif..." [sexface]), so you kind of have to roll with that. I mean, this really is Romantic medieval(ist) stuff right here.
-Speaking of medieval/Romantic behaviour and language: I may have mentioned this before, but the original Jaffar in the 1001 Nights CRIES ALL THE FUCKING TIME. So much that I was reading the tale about the three apples and I couldn't imagine Connie or the cartoon Jafar but was just visualising a tiny little John Simm in a turban weeping his squinty little eyes out. Ok, so a) the guy in the 1001 Nights is not actually a villain like he is in the movies and b) the caliph was threatening him with death all the time, so that makes sense, but it was kind of hilarious. So if I write Jaffar as weepy in my fics, that's actually a Thing and not something I'm just slapping on him. Just so you know. Just like when he's a supergenius and a polymath and a book nerd in my fics, it's a reference to the historical Ja'far ibn Yahya who was a supernerd.
-And now I'm off to write them finally fucking each other stupid. Oh yes. *rubs hands*