Even Shakespeare had his bad days
Rereading Much Ado About Nothing like a mofo. And it's brilliant, just like I remembered... except for one thing. PLEASE tell me I'm not the only person in the world who can't stand Dogberry or the bits with the bumbly watchmen. At least in the original text. I know it depends a lot on the performances but god *damn*.
You want to know how I feel about Dogberry and co? Think of the most funny sitcom you've ever seen. Something that has you in stitches. Crying with laughter and howling with joy at the wit. And then think of the unfunniest, crappiest, wtf-how-did-this-ever-get-commissioned-est sitcom ever. It's like watching John Cleese and Michael Palin argue about a parrot and then Leonard Rossiter comes in and cracks a sexist and racist joke that was already unfunny and old during the Punic wars. Dogberry is the Andy Parsons to Frankie Boyle's Beatrice. Dogberry is the stone stuck between the sole and your toe when you're wearing 50-hole lace-up boots. Dogberry is the guy who brings 11 items to the 10 items or less queue at the supermarket. Dogberry is the huge fuckoff wasp interrupting a perfect, romantic picnic. Dogberry is leaves on the line. Dogberry is Love & Monsters. Dogberry is a beautiful Victorian gothic folly that's been raped by yuppies with ugly modern decor inside. Dogberry is farting in the lift. Dogberry was the dog that bit you when you were six. Dogberry is the guy murdering your favourite song on karaoke night. Dogberry is what Katie Price is to Marilyn Monroe. Dogberry is the reason why your mother never loved you. Dogberry is waking up next to Jeremy Clarkson. Dogberry is getting out of bed and stepping in a puddle of cat vomit.
And he never returns your calls, either.
You want to know how I feel about Dogberry and co? Think of the most funny sitcom you've ever seen. Something that has you in stitches. Crying with laughter and howling with joy at the wit. And then think of the unfunniest, crappiest, wtf-how-did-this-ever-get-commissioned-est sitcom ever. It's like watching John Cleese and Michael Palin argue about a parrot and then Leonard Rossiter comes in and cracks a sexist and racist joke that was already unfunny and old during the Punic wars. Dogberry is the Andy Parsons to Frankie Boyle's Beatrice. Dogberry is the stone stuck between the sole and your toe when you're wearing 50-hole lace-up boots. Dogberry is the guy who brings 11 items to the 10 items or less queue at the supermarket. Dogberry is the huge fuckoff wasp interrupting a perfect, romantic picnic. Dogberry is leaves on the line. Dogberry is Love & Monsters. Dogberry is a beautiful Victorian gothic folly that's been raped by yuppies with ugly modern decor inside. Dogberry is farting in the lift. Dogberry was the dog that bit you when you were six. Dogberry is the guy murdering your favourite song on karaoke night. Dogberry is what Katie Price is to Marilyn Monroe. Dogberry is the reason why your mother never loved you. Dogberry is waking up next to Jeremy Clarkson. Dogberry is getting out of bed and stepping in a puddle of cat vomit.
And he never returns your calls, either.