(no subject)
i'm not sure that i can describe this adequately, but i'll try.
since finishing school, i've come to a realization... i can enjoy things again.
when i had something to worry about, something due, something looming over me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, almost every single week for a few years... my life became utilitarian. all activities had to have a function, and they had to be as efficient as possible. only necessary functions were acceptable, so anything purely enjoyable with no other purpose was off limits.
but that's changed now. when i wake up, i don't necessarily have a to-do list waiting for me. on my days off, i don't have projects sitting on my desk waiting and reading that is weeks behind.
when its beautiful outside, i don't look out the window with guilt that i'm not staring into a book, or watch all of my friends go to the beach while i go to work for the seventh day in a row...
and so i've rediscovered life.
today i cooked a wonderful brunch omelet with ian, and then we went down to the nordstrom half yearly sale, spent some time trying on clothes, and then went and signed up for a gym membership (since i can't go to the IMA anymore). we walked to the other side of town to the other gym location (where they have an olympic sized pool on the 14th floor of the Seattle Municipal Building. beautiful view!), and also went up to the observation deck. We walked back through the central library, the market, and then up through a comic store.
i realized how much i loved just walking through downtown. i love working out, and talking with ian, and enjoying the sun and the sounds and smells and people. i realized that comic books are kinda fun, in a pure way that i couldn't bring myself to accept before. i had no schedule, and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
i realized how much i love being with my family, and even small things like watching a tv show with them.
i rediscovered the tv shows and magazines and newspapers and books that didn't fit into the academic paradigm that i've been living in, and just how much i enjoyed them.
i've realized how important my friends are in my life, and how much they mean.
i've discovered that i can enjoy things again, and its a freedom and happiness i haven't felt in a very long time.
since finishing school, i've come to a realization... i can enjoy things again.
when i had something to worry about, something due, something looming over me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, almost every single week for a few years... my life became utilitarian. all activities had to have a function, and they had to be as efficient as possible. only necessary functions were acceptable, so anything purely enjoyable with no other purpose was off limits.
but that's changed now. when i wake up, i don't necessarily have a to-do list waiting for me. on my days off, i don't have projects sitting on my desk waiting and reading that is weeks behind.
when its beautiful outside, i don't look out the window with guilt that i'm not staring into a book, or watch all of my friends go to the beach while i go to work for the seventh day in a row...
and so i've rediscovered life.
today i cooked a wonderful brunch omelet with ian, and then we went down to the nordstrom half yearly sale, spent some time trying on clothes, and then went and signed up for a gym membership (since i can't go to the IMA anymore). we walked to the other side of town to the other gym location (where they have an olympic sized pool on the 14th floor of the Seattle Municipal Building. beautiful view!), and also went up to the observation deck. We walked back through the central library, the market, and then up through a comic store.
i realized how much i loved just walking through downtown. i love working out, and talking with ian, and enjoying the sun and the sounds and smells and people. i realized that comic books are kinda fun, in a pure way that i couldn't bring myself to accept before. i had no schedule, and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
i realized how much i love being with my family, and even small things like watching a tv show with them.
i rediscovered the tv shows and magazines and newspapers and books that didn't fit into the academic paradigm that i've been living in, and just how much i enjoyed them.
i've realized how important my friends are in my life, and how much they mean.
i've discovered that i can enjoy things again, and its a freedom and happiness i haven't felt in a very long time.