at rest
its been a long week. after the funeral yesterday i felt such a sense of relief...not only for gail and for everyone there to have finally made their peace, but there's also this bit of pride that you feel after some accomplishment. like 'ok, we did it, we made it through. now everything is fine and good again, back to the grind.' but i had to re-realize today that this is not over. the hard week of facing the loss of gail is over but now we have to go on without her. and i am acknowledging again that that means there are still many ups and downs to come. it is not over and in some ways, it never will be. im a little older after this weekend and ive gained a little more understanding of the constant battles we always carry...there are so many things in life that always needs attention, improvement, upkeep...im a little more familiar now with another one.
there were many moments this week that warmed my heart and i am so very very thankful for the relationships i have. britt, ali, jenna and i had some really great moments, just being together. and everyone that came to the wake and showed their support...it was a very comforting week in some ways. it feels good to open your heart to some things and people that you usually dont make the effort or time to.
and i am so glad that i sang...i was nervous and not sure if i would be able to, and in some ways, that was the easiest it has ever been for me to sing for my family and friends. i was filled with courage knowing that i could provide something for everyone there and it was a really great moment. for me, it was a beautiful release for gail to be put to rest immediately after a moment of peace where everyone was able to feel for her in their own way, with the support of music. and i am so very happy to give a gift like that. from now on, i will firmly suggest that in situations like this, if you feel like saying or doing something - DO IT. go to the funeral. say a few words. even if you are nervous or you feel out of place...it is a very powerful thing to see your actions through in times like these and you will absolutely be glad you did. i know i am.
i love brittany very much. more than i can express at this moment. she is one of the most beautiful people i have ever had the pleasure of knowing in my life and i am so very very proud to know her.
there were many moments this week that warmed my heart and i am so very very thankful for the relationships i have. britt, ali, jenna and i had some really great moments, just being together. and everyone that came to the wake and showed their support...it was a very comforting week in some ways. it feels good to open your heart to some things and people that you usually dont make the effort or time to.
and i am so glad that i sang...i was nervous and not sure if i would be able to, and in some ways, that was the easiest it has ever been for me to sing for my family and friends. i was filled with courage knowing that i could provide something for everyone there and it was a really great moment. for me, it was a beautiful release for gail to be put to rest immediately after a moment of peace where everyone was able to feel for her in their own way, with the support of music. and i am so very happy to give a gift like that. from now on, i will firmly suggest that in situations like this, if you feel like saying or doing something - DO IT. go to the funeral. say a few words. even if you are nervous or you feel out of place...it is a very powerful thing to see your actions through in times like these and you will absolutely be glad you did. i know i am.
i love brittany very much. more than i can express at this moment. she is one of the most beautiful people i have ever had the pleasure of knowing in my life and i am so very very proud to know her.