It's been a year...
Why don't I feel better? Why do I still think of this show constantly? Why can't I just let it go? It's been an entire *year*...It seems like everybody has moved on but me. I eat, breathe, sleep, think, and dream Joan. My spare moments are spent thinking up fanfiction for it (fics I often crossover with other fandoms, just so I don't get completely left behind...I may watch other shows, talk about them, even write in them, but they don't hold my heart the way Joan does), imagining what could have been in a third season. I still haven't watched CBS. I have not tuned into that network in just under a year (my vow didn't happen until they quit the reruns the second or third week of June)...Today is going to be a depressing day. I can just feel it in my bones. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that When I go to sleep and wake up, I'm rather surrounded by my Joan memorabilia...I can see the wardrobe items in the closet and (my favorite) the painting on the wall across from my bed...Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment and pain. Maybe that's why I won't just move on and let it go. And yet...I can't help but feel that's not true. This show inspired me. It made me a better person. I guess part of me just doesn't want to let that go, is afraid that if I do, I'll forget. That without the constant reminder, I'll forget its lessons like Joan forgot the ripples when God was silent...Damn you CBS and Les Moonves for destroying something so beautiful and making it painful...