Your story has done a complete 180 and to be honest, I can't tell if it was intentional or not. The flashbacks you're providing seem incongruous with the information given before. In one chapter, you mention (via Draco) how Hermione adopted this hardcore tough-girl attitude to cope with everything. That was actually one of my favorite chapters, where Draco and Hermione are swearing at each other with pretty girl feeling left out in the office. But the Hermione seen in the flashbacks is broken - completely and utterly. The girl in the flashbacks is taking abuse, but the girl in the main part of the story is too independent.
Granted, you haven't explained this memory modification with Hermione too much either, that tattoo on the back of her neck. I'm dying to find out when and where and how she got this tattoo. You mentioned that Draco doesn't have one, Blaise didn't have one. In another chapter, Draco's eyes turned a stormy purple when he was losing grip on reality; now he's just an asshole who enjoys killing. It feels like you've lost that line of reality and insanity with Draco. It feels like he's just another homocidal man walking the streets who isn't actually insane.
I'm a little confused as to what is a flashback anymore. I'm assuming the abuse and sex are flashbacks, but I'm still trying to figure out where Hermione stands in what she remembers. Tell me more about the Great Purge! She started remembering bits and pieces at one point, like when Draco kissed her when she was in the bathtub (that was a hot scene, by the way). But again, he was on the brink of insanity from - I assumed - the horde of memories in his head. By the way... is killing Lucius a flashback or current event? I got lost with that because I thought Lucius wasn't alive when, in the beginning, this story was more about Hermione pining after boy 1, snarking with Draco, starting to fall for Draco, witty dialogue all over... before it moved into flashback country.
I'm sorry if the review is confused, but I'm confused... you wrote one chapter where Draco and Hermione eat lunch in a meeting together and it's hilarious! It's priceless the way you describe it through another employee's eyes. But now I have no idea where we are, what time we're in, or who is doing what, where, and who.
Your story has done a complete 180 and to be honest, I can't tell if it was intentional or not. The flashbacks you're providing seem incongruous with the information given before. In one chapter, you mention (via Draco) how Hermione adopted this hardcore tough-girl attitude to cope with everything. That was actually one of my favorite chapters, where Draco and Hermione are swearing at each other with pretty girl feeling left out in the office. But the Hermione seen in the flashbacks is broken - completely and utterly. The girl in the flashbacks is taking abuse, but the girl in the main part of the story is too independent.
Granted, you haven't explained this memory modification with Hermione too much either, that tattoo on the back of her neck. I'm dying to find out when and where and how she got this tattoo. You mentioned that Draco doesn't have one, Blaise didn't have one. In another chapter, Draco's eyes turned a stormy purple when he was losing grip on reality; now he's just an asshole who enjoys killing. It feels like you've lost that line of reality and insanity with Draco. It feels like he's just another homocidal man walking the streets who isn't actually insane.
I'm a little confused as to what is a flashback anymore. I'm assuming the abuse and sex are flashbacks, but I'm still trying to figure out where Hermione stands in what she remembers. Tell me more about the Great Purge! She started remembering bits and pieces at one point, like when Draco kissed her when she was in the bathtub (that was a hot scene, by the way). But again, he was on the brink of insanity from - I assumed - the horde of memories in his head. By the way... is killing Lucius a flashback or current event? I got lost with that because I thought Lucius wasn't alive when, in the beginning, this story was more about Hermione pining after boy 1, snarking with Draco, starting to fall for Draco, witty dialogue all over... before it moved into flashback country.
I'm sorry if the review is confused, but I'm confused... you wrote one chapter where Draco and Hermione eat lunch in a meeting together and it's hilarious! It's priceless the way you describe it through another employee's eyes. But now I have no idea where we are, what time we're in, or who is doing what, where, and who.
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