FanGirl-ism
Yah... so.. since this is a journal [albeit.. online.. and therefore accessible to interneters..] I will slowly cease to care and start to rave about things unraved during regular waking hours. As such, I will start. Those who will be bored easily by fangirl-ism and ex-essive obsession (haha good pun) are advised not to read. It is boring.
He poked me!! He poked me he poked me he poked me he poked me [all said in a sing-song voice.] WAH! HE SIGNED ON! HE SIGNED ON! HE SIGNED ON!! XDDD Ah, the way my heart will flutter. It flutters the same way when somehow I'm reminded of him. Like today, when I was driving home, and I saw Slush Puppies. I am never going to step into that convenience store near my house. I don't care if it's convenient. Also. All during night school these funny instances would happen that I would've loved to share.. and now I daren't. It is very sad, I think. I am very sad. Sometimes. But I will not dwell on the matter. When I see or think about him, like I said, I get flutters. Flutters just like when I see a cute celebrity.
I know. Koby and Cute celebrities induce the same amount of fluttering. This is not normal.
Fluttering like cutie YeSung. or damn fine Max. Or ever-so-permanent-on-desktop YunHo. Or girly JaeJoong. Waaahhhh!!! Such beautiful boys... such wonderful distractions.. lol such fine, fine lovely voices. Waaahhh!! They're so much fun to watch, too. I wonder how different/similar they are from their stage personality to real life? It's very different from American culture, I think. And I am embracing it head-on. -Oh all right, not really. I don't have that much patience. I do, however, have enough time to become an official creeper and lurk. And lurk. Aaaannd lurk. lol
Also. Still very interested in fanfics. Very. Interested.
I am..procrastinating, once again. Except this time it is bed. Also, the spider that I very unwillingly smacked with a shoe is now gone. I am happy.
However. I was a total snitch on my cousin and feel bad, even though Angel tells me that I am completely justified in doing so. Nevertheless. I am pretty sure that the entire household is not too fond of me anymore. I wonder what that makes me.. perhaps it is time for me to go and re-evaluate myself again. I've been doing that less and less often lately. Perhaps that's a sign in itself, that I'm avoiding something. Good call.
I keep looking at my fb page and seeing his name on the poketh side. I am. Ecstatic every time I see it. I don't even want to return the poke for fear of never seeing it there again. Oh well. Wasn't meant to be, right? Must learn to get over it. I think, for the most part I am. I'm not even thinking about him so much anymore! Only sometimes. When I'm doing something and it just feels like I could totally be sharing it and we'd be having such a grand dandy ball. Or of something we had done together. I'm afraid to look at many things still because of that. I am not a very strong person at all. It wasn't meant to be!! It wasn't meant to be! Mind over matter. If I tell myself enough times, I will remember.
It is odd, because, I do not forget things easily. Or give things up. I actually really do have to provide a distraction until the pain is not more objective than subjective. You know, like in Happy Feet, where the penguin is afraid to jump into the water, even though he tries... so he looks behind him and yells, "Look! A Distraction!" and so falls into the water. Kinda like that.
Ah.. I should be off to bed now. I really, really want to go play pool. At some place where the tables have less friction, the cues have heads on them, and the balls aren't chipped. Maybe if I got cue heads, the balls will stop bouncing onto my basement floor... lol Of course, I have only ever really really wanted to play with one person in particular. Pretty badly. And a lot more things. I had wanted to do so many things!! And now I can't! Well, I can. But alone. And without fun-ness. Of a certain special someone. When you like them, anything makes it extra fun-special. Funspial.
Noooooo!!! Pookkee back! Poooke back!!!
I have a math test tomorrow.. I should actually go to bed so I can study at lunch. Hm. I wish me luck!
Wahh.. I keep thinking that it's been another year since we've known each other. and I can't seem to forget.
Omoide no naka dake ikiteru
Kono omoi FOREVER
Yamanai ame ga boku no kokoro dake
Kagirinaku nurashite mo
..I can't say Good-Bye 'cause I Love You.
He poked me!! He poked me he poked me he poked me he poked me [all said in a sing-song voice.] WAH! HE SIGNED ON! HE SIGNED ON! HE SIGNED ON!! XDDD Ah, the way my heart will flutter. It flutters the same way when somehow I'm reminded of him. Like today, when I was driving home, and I saw Slush Puppies. I am never going to step into that convenience store near my house. I don't care if it's convenient. Also. All during night school these funny instances would happen that I would've loved to share.. and now I daren't. It is very sad, I think. I am very sad. Sometimes. But I will not dwell on the matter. When I see or think about him, like I said, I get flutters. Flutters just like when I see a cute celebrity.
I know. Koby and Cute celebrities induce the same amount of fluttering. This is not normal.
Fluttering like cutie YeSung. or damn fine Max. Or ever-so-permanent-on-desktop YunHo. Or girly JaeJoong. Waaahhhh!!! Such beautiful boys... such wonderful distractions.. lol such fine, fine lovely voices. Waaahhh!! They're so much fun to watch, too. I wonder how different/similar they are from their stage personality to real life? It's very different from American culture, I think. And I am embracing it head-on. -Oh all right, not really. I don't have that much patience. I do, however, have enough time to become an official creeper and lurk. And lurk. Aaaannd lurk. lol
Also. Still very interested in fanfics. Very. Interested.
I am..procrastinating, once again. Except this time it is bed. Also, the spider that I very unwillingly smacked with a shoe is now gone. I am happy.
However. I was a total snitch on my cousin and feel bad, even though Angel tells me that I am completely justified in doing so. Nevertheless. I am pretty sure that the entire household is not too fond of me anymore. I wonder what that makes me.. perhaps it is time for me to go and re-evaluate myself again. I've been doing that less and less often lately. Perhaps that's a sign in itself, that I'm avoiding something. Good call.
I keep looking at my fb page and seeing his name on the poketh side. I am. Ecstatic every time I see it. I don't even want to return the poke for fear of never seeing it there again. Oh well. Wasn't meant to be, right? Must learn to get over it. I think, for the most part I am. I'm not even thinking about him so much anymore! Only sometimes. When I'm doing something and it just feels like I could totally be sharing it and we'd be having such a grand dandy ball. Or of something we had done together. I'm afraid to look at many things still because of that. I am not a very strong person at all. It wasn't meant to be!! It wasn't meant to be! Mind over matter. If I tell myself enough times, I will remember.
It is odd, because, I do not forget things easily. Or give things up. I actually really do have to provide a distraction until the pain is not more objective than subjective. You know, like in Happy Feet, where the penguin is afraid to jump into the water, even though he tries... so he looks behind him and yells, "Look! A Distraction!" and so falls into the water. Kinda like that.
Ah.. I should be off to bed now. I really, really want to go play pool. At some place where the tables have less friction, the cues have heads on them, and the balls aren't chipped. Maybe if I got cue heads, the balls will stop bouncing onto my basement floor... lol Of course, I have only ever really really wanted to play with one person in particular. Pretty badly. And a lot more things. I had wanted to do so many things!! And now I can't! Well, I can. But alone. And without fun-ness. Of a certain special someone. When you like them, anything makes it extra fun-special. Funspial.
Noooooo!!! Pookkee back! Poooke back!!!
I have a math test tomorrow.. I should actually go to bed so I can study at lunch. Hm. I wish me luck!
Wahh.. I keep thinking that it's been another year since we've known each other. and I can't seem to forget.
Omoide no naka dake ikiteru
Kono omoi FOREVER
Yamanai ame ga boku no kokoro dake
Kagirinaku nurashite mo
..I can't say Good-Bye 'cause I Love You.