I WANT MY FUCKING $8 BACK! (Don't read this if you wanna see War of the World cause it has spoilers)
Holy everlovin' shit. I just went to see War of the Worlds. OHMYGOD. OH. MY. GOD.
OH
MY
GOD
Worst movie I have seen since EVER. EEEVVVEEERRR. It doesn't even deserve to bear the title of 'War of the Worlds.' The book/radio show was literary GENIUS. The movie was horribly, spectacularly, mind numbingly, bash your head against the wall, rip your hair out AWFUL. BAD. TERRIBLE. See: abominable, amiss, atrocious, awful, bad news, beastly, blah, bottom out, bummer, careless, cheap, cheesy, crappy, cruddy, crummy, defective, deficient, diddly, dissatisfactory, downer, dreadful, erroneous, fallacious, faulty, garbage, god-awful, gross, grungy, icky, imperfect, inadequate, incorrect, inferior, junky, lousy, not good, off, poor, raunchy, rough, sad, scuzzy, sleazeball, sleazy, slipshod, stinking, substandard, synthetic, the pits, unacceptable, unsatisfactory.
THOSE ARE ALL THE DESCRIBING WORDS I COULD FIND. When I mean awful, I mean that half the movie I wanted to smack/beat/kill most of the cast. The only half smart character in the movie was Tom Cruise. And he was still pretty damn dumb. Dakota Fanning's character was a basket case that screamed far too much. Wait, cut that. SHRIEKED. Most of the movie she was frozen in terror, screaming, running or generally being stupid. The brother, Robert? I think? Whatever his name was, he had a decent character until he decided to get back at the aliens. WTF? What the hell are you going to do against ALIENS? Aliens with heat rays that didn't even get shown right. Jeeze. The people did not turn to ash and explode. They burst into flame. Keyword in heat ray: Heat. NOT ash. And why the hell did their clothes float away? They're supposed to be burned too.
OH. And on the subject of clothes, where the hell did the girl get all her damn clothes from? She didn't have her stupid rolly bag that no one rolled with her. First she was in that awful pink jacket thing. Next she was in this strange poncho deal. Then she was just in a plain shit without the jacket/poncho thing. Then at the end I think she changed again. What the fucking hell? Does she have a portable wardrobe? Did she snatch clothes out of the air that should actually be on fire? Whats going on here?
The only similarities between the movie and the book were the title, the rough idea of the book and the aliens. The guy in the book wasn't married/divorced, he had no children, the cars did not shut down randomly, the aliens did not 'ride the lightning' they came in what people thought were asteroids. or whatever. Actually, there were no lightning storms, there was little to no resistance cause everyone died, the guy ended up staying in the basement of a house, the aliens died from bacteria (which was badly explained in the movie), there were no plane crashes, watches stopping, camera crews, there was no physco guy trying to shoot the aliens with a gun, there was no nice little forgotten street at the end in Brooklyn, there were no crows, no armies trying to move all the people around, no stupid mindless people running (TO WHERE?), no prime examples of herd mentality at its best, little cages for the people who got caught, the movie did not begin in brooklyn and the book was not so amazingly bad.
*head explodes* If someone tries to con you into going, just say "No way man, I got better ways to kill my braincells" and then go beat your head against the wall for half an hour. It should break even.
So, that was my bitchfest. It's late, I'm going to go to the midnight release of Harry Potter tommorow, I'm tired and I want to sleep. So goodnight all, and if you made it this far, you deserve a cookie or something. But I'm not gonna give you one you greedy bastard, so just go looking elsewhere for charity.
LATER FUCKERS
OH
MY
GOD
Worst movie I have seen since EVER. EEEVVVEEERRR. It doesn't even deserve to bear the title of 'War of the Worlds.' The book/radio show was literary GENIUS. The movie was horribly, spectacularly, mind numbingly, bash your head against the wall, rip your hair out AWFUL. BAD. TERRIBLE. See: abominable, amiss, atrocious, awful, bad news, beastly, blah, bottom out, bummer, careless, cheap, cheesy, crappy, cruddy, crummy, defective, deficient, diddly, dissatisfactory, downer, dreadful, erroneous, fallacious, faulty, garbage, god-awful, gross, grungy, icky, imperfect, inadequate, incorrect, inferior, junky, lousy, not good, off, poor, raunchy, rough, sad, scuzzy, sleazeball, sleazy, slipshod, stinking, substandard, synthetic, the pits, unacceptable, unsatisfactory.
THOSE ARE ALL THE DESCRIBING WORDS I COULD FIND. When I mean awful, I mean that half the movie I wanted to smack/beat/kill most of the cast. The only half smart character in the movie was Tom Cruise. And he was still pretty damn dumb. Dakota Fanning's character was a basket case that screamed far too much. Wait, cut that. SHRIEKED. Most of the movie she was frozen in terror, screaming, running or generally being stupid. The brother, Robert? I think? Whatever his name was, he had a decent character until he decided to get back at the aliens. WTF? What the hell are you going to do against ALIENS? Aliens with heat rays that didn't even get shown right. Jeeze. The people did not turn to ash and explode. They burst into flame. Keyword in heat ray: Heat. NOT ash. And why the hell did their clothes float away? They're supposed to be burned too.
OH. And on the subject of clothes, where the hell did the girl get all her damn clothes from? She didn't have her stupid rolly bag that no one rolled with her. First she was in that awful pink jacket thing. Next she was in this strange poncho deal. Then she was just in a plain shit without the jacket/poncho thing. Then at the end I think she changed again. What the fucking hell? Does she have a portable wardrobe? Did she snatch clothes out of the air that should actually be on fire? Whats going on here?
The only similarities between the movie and the book were the title, the rough idea of the book and the aliens. The guy in the book wasn't married/divorced, he had no children, the cars did not shut down randomly, the aliens did not 'ride the lightning' they came in what people thought were asteroids. or whatever. Actually, there were no lightning storms, there was little to no resistance cause everyone died, the guy ended up staying in the basement of a house, the aliens died from bacteria (which was badly explained in the movie), there were no plane crashes, watches stopping, camera crews, there was no physco guy trying to shoot the aliens with a gun, there was no nice little forgotten street at the end in Brooklyn, there were no crows, no armies trying to move all the people around, no stupid mindless people running (TO WHERE?), no prime examples of herd mentality at its best, little cages for the people who got caught, the movie did not begin in brooklyn and the book was not so amazingly bad.
*head explodes* If someone tries to con you into going, just say "No way man, I got better ways to kill my braincells" and then go beat your head against the wall for half an hour. It should break even.
So, that was my bitchfest. It's late, I'm going to go to the midnight release of Harry Potter tommorow, I'm tired and I want to sleep. So goodnight all, and if you made it this far, you deserve a cookie or something. But I'm not gonna give you one you greedy bastard, so just go looking elsewhere for charity.
LATER FUCKERS