It's my life? Since when?
Alright so I'm having a very difficult day and I'm going to post on here.. if you want to comment go ahead, but you don't have to.. so don't feel obligated
I'm doing American Idol. I stayed at a hotel with my dad this morning and we got up at 3:20 AM and went to stand in line at the Key Arena to register. He got mad at me because we got lost and of course it's all my fault.
I realize that I actually don't have cool clothes to wear to the audition on tuesday. So I ask my dad if it's ok for me to go to my apartment on Monday so I can get my clothes and maybe buy a new shirt or something and that he can come over on Tuesday morning. He says no that won't work because he doesn't want to waste the gas for both of us to drive over. But here is the kicker... school starts on Wed. He wants me to drive over monday night with him and then bring him back to Ephrata and then I would have to drive all the way back to my Apartment in Lacey. And then instead of my getting clothes at my apartment he wants me to drive to Spokane to buy new clothes.. again with the saving gas? WTF?!?!?!?!
So we have this conversation and my mom decides that she'll take me to go shopping in the Tri-cities... not a lot there for fat people. I go to a couple stores and of course I'm discouraged because I don't fit into half the stuff and the things that I do fit in are all for older women. After we've exhausted our resources we decide to retreat home.
I get to my dad's house and my ex-stepmom is there (they were having dinner) and my dad says "you didn't get anything?" I say no and then he says "not even pants" I say no and then explain that there aren't a lot of stores with my size in them. He then says.. "well who do you know in town that is your size" and then he starts asking me of women I know.. one of which is much larger and older and there is no way I would wear her stuff. At this point in time I want to cry because I feel like I'm being torn apart by my father.
I then go to my mom's house where I finally break down into sobs and tell her that I don't feel like I'm living my life. For some reason I can not say no to my father. My mom just hugged me and told me that she supports everything I do and my stepdad walked in and said he would be my backbone support.
I get the courage to call my dad and he gets angry with me and says that we'll finsih this conversation in the morning and hangs up on me. I call him back and tell him that we need to finish it now. I then tell him that I'm going to my apartment on Monday and that I will give him the money I was paid for singing at my cousins wedding for gas. He said fine and then hungup again. This may just seem like a little spat, but I feel like I'm finally starting to make my own decisions.. Now the scary part is tomorrow when I have to face him.. and I have to make sure I don't cry. For some reason he always makes me cry.
I'm doing American Idol. I stayed at a hotel with my dad this morning and we got up at 3:20 AM and went to stand in line at the Key Arena to register. He got mad at me because we got lost and of course it's all my fault.
I realize that I actually don't have cool clothes to wear to the audition on tuesday. So I ask my dad if it's ok for me to go to my apartment on Monday so I can get my clothes and maybe buy a new shirt or something and that he can come over on Tuesday morning. He says no that won't work because he doesn't want to waste the gas for both of us to drive over. But here is the kicker... school starts on Wed. He wants me to drive over monday night with him and then bring him back to Ephrata and then I would have to drive all the way back to my Apartment in Lacey. And then instead of my getting clothes at my apartment he wants me to drive to Spokane to buy new clothes.. again with the saving gas? WTF?!?!?!?!
So we have this conversation and my mom decides that she'll take me to go shopping in the Tri-cities... not a lot there for fat people. I go to a couple stores and of course I'm discouraged because I don't fit into half the stuff and the things that I do fit in are all for older women. After we've exhausted our resources we decide to retreat home.
I get to my dad's house and my ex-stepmom is there (they were having dinner) and my dad says "you didn't get anything?" I say no and then he says "not even pants" I say no and then explain that there aren't a lot of stores with my size in them. He then says.. "well who do you know in town that is your size" and then he starts asking me of women I know.. one of which is much larger and older and there is no way I would wear her stuff. At this point in time I want to cry because I feel like I'm being torn apart by my father.
I then go to my mom's house where I finally break down into sobs and tell her that I don't feel like I'm living my life. For some reason I can not say no to my father. My mom just hugged me and told me that she supports everything I do and my stepdad walked in and said he would be my backbone support.
I get the courage to call my dad and he gets angry with me and says that we'll finsih this conversation in the morning and hangs up on me. I call him back and tell him that we need to finish it now. I then tell him that I'm going to my apartment on Monday and that I will give him the money I was paid for singing at my cousins wedding for gas. He said fine and then hungup again. This may just seem like a little spat, but I feel like I'm finally starting to make my own decisions.. Now the scary part is tomorrow when I have to face him.. and I have to make sure I don't cry. For some reason he always makes me cry.