(no subject)
I've had such a sense of well-being the last few days.
It's almost like...this is it. I did it. I've made a life for myself, a real life, out in The Real World. Which is the thing I've been so badly wanting and working so hard for. I may not have a whole lot of things or people in my life, but I put them there. After the general shittiness (and awesomeness, too) of school, and then feeling like I was in limbo for a year, like my life was on hold, I have finally...arrived. I literally built my life from the ground up, brick by brick, and each brick was hand selected. If I found one I didn't want, or that wasn't exactly right, I didn't use it. I have a home of my own, which is mine no furniture or no. I have a job that I got with my own initiative and hard work, with bank loans and my blood and sweat and tears. I pour my heart and soul into this job in a way that I have never poured them into anything else before. I have some amazing colleagues, for whom I have the utmost respect and admiration, and with whom I have some great fun. I have a car that I may still be paying for for the next ten years, and which I may have crashed three weeks after getting, but hey, it's mine. I have a few good, close friends, who I would do anything for and who would do the same for me, distance be damned. I have the most awesome family in the whole world, which supports me and loves me when no one else does (hey, even though they have to, it's still great).
I just...I leave for work and lock my very own front door, and drive in to work as the sky is just getting light at 6:30 and look at the incredible landscape of my state and my new hometown, and rock out to the music in my car, and then I get here, and I just think: this is it. This is life. And I did it.
I'm so happy I could bust.
It's almost like...this is it. I did it. I've made a life for myself, a real life, out in The Real World. Which is the thing I've been so badly wanting and working so hard for. I may not have a whole lot of things or people in my life, but I put them there. After the general shittiness (and awesomeness, too) of school, and then feeling like I was in limbo for a year, like my life was on hold, I have finally...arrived. I literally built my life from the ground up, brick by brick, and each brick was hand selected. If I found one I didn't want, or that wasn't exactly right, I didn't use it. I have a home of my own, which is mine no furniture or no. I have a job that I got with my own initiative and hard work, with bank loans and my blood and sweat and tears. I pour my heart and soul into this job in a way that I have never poured them into anything else before. I have some amazing colleagues, for whom I have the utmost respect and admiration, and with whom I have some great fun. I have a car that I may still be paying for for the next ten years, and which I may have crashed three weeks after getting, but hey, it's mine. I have a few good, close friends, who I would do anything for and who would do the same for me, distance be damned. I have the most awesome family in the whole world, which supports me and loves me when no one else does (hey, even though they have to, it's still great).
I just...I leave for work and lock my very own front door, and drive in to work as the sky is just getting light at 6:30 and look at the incredible landscape of my state and my new hometown, and rock out to the music in my car, and then I get here, and I just think: this is it. This is life. And I did it.
I'm so happy I could bust.